


Will you let me burn?

by Illusion_and_Dream



Category: Poets of the Fall
Genre: AU, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Bittersweet, Dark, Depression, Desire, F/M, Falling In Love, Fire, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Guilt, Guilty Pleasures, Healing, Jungian shadow archetype, Kidnapping, Kindness, Manipulative Characters, Mental Instability, Mood Swings, Neurosis, Obsession, Psychosis, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Stalking, Support, Symbolism, Trust, Violence, Water, broken glass, expressive hand gestures, getting even, individuation, overarching, repetitive motifs, ski mask
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:02:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 71
Words: 66,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25859416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illusion_and_Dream/pseuds/Illusion_and_Dream
Summary: A possible prequel to the Daze video. Who is getting even? And for what?She looked in the rearview mirror. He was gazing at her through tiny eye holes. His cold light eyes didn’t even blink.
Relationships: Marko Saaresto the girl from Daze video
Comments: 181
Kudos: 5





	1. The start - Andrea's POV

The groceries were safely tucked inside the trunk, but Andrea sat still, taking a moment to rest in an empty parking lot. The day’s been long and even though it was barely past 9 pm, she felt it was time to hit the bed. Next place to go to: the drycleaner’s. 

Suddenly, the left back window smashed into a thousand pieces with a horrible screech. She screamed in fright, before realizing someone has just done it on purpose, entered the car, sat behind her and held her at gunpoint. It all happened in a matter of seconds.

Drive! – she heard right after the sound of the splitting glass. 

Where to?

Just drive!

She started the car. She could feel her heartbeats in her throat. How the hell could this have happened? She needs to stick to the urban areas, to use even the slightest opportunity to call for help. 

Turn right and just drive! – the man barked as they exited the market parking. That was the way out of Alamo. She silently started praying to all the existing and non-existing gods she never believed in. The one thing she knew was not to piss him off. 

For the next forty minutes they were passing the industrial area of the city. It was mainly warehouses and factories. Gas stations. Not many people around. Almost straight away the masked man in black aggressively adjusted the rearview mirror so he can observe her every move. He also took her bag, so her cellphone was out of reach. She was still feeling sick with anxiety of what would happen next. She hated him for choosing her to fuck up her evening. All pins and needles, she jumped off her seat when he broke the long silence. 

That won’t do. 

What? 

That won’t do. Either zip your jacket all the way up or unzip it.

What?

Didn’t you hear what I said? Zip it or unzip it! Now!

What are you, insane?

Don’t call me insane! – He shouted, pushing forward and pressing the gun to her temple. Andrea was breaking out in a cold sweat. 

Ok, I’m sorry! Look – and she zipped her green leather jacket all the way up as fast as she could. – Please, don’t shout at me. You already have a gun. You don’t have to shout as well. 

He removed the gun and sat back without a word. She looked in the rearview mirror. He was gazing at her through tiny eye holes. His cold light eyes didn’t even blink. Everything else was hidden under a ski mask. She went back to looking at road.

She played back the last incident in her mind. Her jacket was half-zipped, which annoyed him, for some reason. He got frantic when she called him insane for that. He must have heard it a lot, the way he behaved. So, chances are she was stuck in a car with a real lunatic. Dangerous as hell. But it was his weak spot. Let’s start from that. Andrea may have been taken by surprise and scared, but she was far from little Miss innocent she appeared to be.


	2. The start - Marko's POV

Now that the girl zipped up her jacket, Marko felt some of the pressure was taken away. He never took his eyes of her. Her jacket had a diagonally cut zip line, which was bad enough, but he could barely stand to look at that zipper teasing him in the middle of the zip line. So far, she was quiet, driving carefully, avoiding any confrontations. That was good. With everything else gone bad that day, he couldn’t afford another trouble. 

That was one hell of a day. He settled some old scores, fixed his partner’s mess and recovered the money, but needed to lay low for a while and leave the city. One would think that’s it; he can relax and call it a day. Well, in what seemed like a twist from a badly-written B movie, after getting through all the suspense of that day he accidentally got shot in a crossfire between two anonymous hood gangs in front of his building. Ricochet pierced his right calf. The shooter even came to ask if he was ok. He couldn’t go to a hospital. He cleaned the wound in his apartment, and applied some bandage to it. It wasn’t his first time. He gathered his stuff, but he was fully aware he can’t drive with that leg. And he had to leave. He cursed. Somebody would have to drive him, even if the person doesn’t want to. There was a supermarket not far away. He will have to be patient and pick the right driver. Oh, somebody’s night was about to get wild. 

More than an hour later, he was losing it. He can’t stand in that parking forever, somebody will find him suspicious, but he still hasn’t spotted his perfect driver. So far it was all families and younger men. He wouldn’t pick on families, and he couldn’t fight a younger man with that leg, not now. He needed a single younger female driver or a senior driver of any sex. If he was given a choice, he would prefer a younger female driver. 

And there she was, maybe. A girl walked out from a silver Volkswagen Polo. A normal girl, dark hair tied back, green jacket, dark jeans, flat footwear, seems sweet. Probably not a drama queen or someone who will put up a fight. That’s her. She walked into a market. He walked to her car with a rock in his fist, not coming too close. Fifteen minutes later she was out. She even passed him, carrying groceries, without paying any attention to him. She did seem sweet. He let her put the groceries in the trunk. He already grinned to himself. He let her sit there for a second. And then he smashed the window behind her. 

Hey, what’s your name? 

Andrea looked at the mirror. He was still gazing at her. - Andrea. What’s yours? - Andrea saw the skin above his eyes shifted. He probably raised his eyebrows. No reply, of course. - What do you plan on doing with me? 

I need you to drive me to Las Vegas… well, close to it, anyway. 

Las Vegas? It’s, like, a hundred miles to Las Vegas. 

Yes. And we’ll stop at a gas station. Don’t try anything foolish there, Andrea. – Marko realised that this girl could gaze as well. She even seemed angry at him. Ok, if it was him who got abducted to drive a stranger with a gun, he probably would have felt the same way. Hm, that meant she could be up to something. She did have striking blue-grey eyes, though. Or was it just anger in these eyes? Marko always did like strong-willed ladies. Andrea… he liked how the ‘r’ rolled on his tongue. They both had ‘r’ in their names. Rolling ‘r’s. Rolling with Andrea… he realised her angry eyes were still countering his. This time, he was the one who looked away.


	3. Insane and in pain

Do we need to buy anything? I know you have some food back there. 

How do you know that? – Andrea was genuinely surprised - No, we have … food and stuff. 

Oh, I noticed... So, we’re good – he sounded pleased. Marko was actually very pleased because Andrea said that ‘they’ have food. He was starting to like her. But he needed to be stern once again.

There’s a gas station 10 miles away. We’ll make a stop there. Andrea… Look at me! – She looked – Don’t do anything foolish. Play wise. 

He chose that station for a reason – it was a self-service station. The station itself is between the little shop, which was already dark and closed and the toilet facilities. She couldn’t run to the shop (even if it was open) without passing him, and he wouldn’t let her pass. 

If you need to go, go. I’ll tank it. Give me the keys – he stretched his arm next to her. She took the keys and placed them in his palm without touching him the slightest. Marko was actually expecting he could feel her touch, but that didn’t happen, and he was somehow disappointed. 

‘Play wise’! Oh, I’ll play wise, she thought to herself. She got out of the car and went to the facility. If she tried to run away, he would notice it. He was probably faster, even though she could sprint very well. If she stayed inside too long, he would come after her, and force her out. Nope, that would make him angry, and he was physically superior. She cursed. Can it be that her best shot was to go back to him? Had he wanted to do something to her, he would have done it already, but he didn’t seem like that sort of person. What sort of person did he seem like? She was nervous she couldn’t figure him out. She needed to make him talk, to make him feel pity or compassion so she can use it somehow to her advantage. Stay calm. Get him to talk. They need to talk more. So, she went back and sat in the car. 

Now that he was not sitting behind her, standing under a dim station light few feet away, she took her chance to look at him more closely. He was trying to get something from a vending machine, his back turned to her. He seemed to be medium height or tall, not thin nor fat. Not much she could see because he was wearing layered black clothes and still had his mask on. She wondered if the cameras will film him with that mask. He was acting pretty relaxed. He must have been here a lot, and the cameras sure as hell didn’t work, otherwise he would’ve been more careful. He soon turned around and walked to the car. As he was walking around the car to sit behind her again, she noticed something about the way he walked. It wasn’t big, but it could be important. He was sparing his right leg, not standing fully on it. He was limping and he seemed like he was in pain. Insane and in pain. Bad, bad combination, but Andrea smiled to herself anyway. That was his weakness No. 2.


	4. Playing it wise

Andrea was sitting in the car when Marko turned around. Obedient little thing. Apart from that nasty way she looked at him. 

Sorry about the window – he said, as he was carefully sitting behind her. 

It’s ok, my insurance will cover it – she said and smiled. She looked at him for a split of second, right in the time to see his eyes widen in surprise. Ah, his eyes were blue. Not green, not grey. Blue. 

Did she just smile at him? Marko didn’t know what to think or say. 

Andrea took the next step. 

I assume I will be alive to collect my insurance, once I drive you somewhere near Las Vegas? – She glanced at him again. He was composed again. – You wouldn’t hurt a poor, defenseless woman, now would you? - Another glance, another widening of blue eyes. Damn, she had him!

No, I … - Marko gulped – You will be alive, yes, totally alive. 

Andrea tried to give him a coy, angelic smile of a thankful woman, but when she saw herself in the windshield, she cut the smiling. The smile seemed more demonic than angelic. If he had not been so surprised, he would have noticed it.

The World’s Loneliest Highway wasn’t called that for nothing. It was well-maintained but ghostly empty. Not a single car since they left Alamo. Just miles of desert on both sides. 

Maybe on the half of the way to Vegas, Marko said they needed to stop. He needed to make a phone call to his friend, he said. Andrea wondered if the person was a friend or a companion in some dodgy business. It was after 11 pm. They could be in Vegas in an hour, hour and a half max. She pulled at the hard shoulder. Marko got out of the car, taking keys again. Again, there was no touch from Andrea’s side. He went to the back. Andrea wanted to stretch her legs, too. She went to the front. She was too far to hear what Marko was saying, but she could watch him, glowing red in tail lights. And it seemed he was worse off. He stood mainly on his left leg. 

Hey, Jaska, it’s me, Marko. I need you to bring Olli, too. Tell him to bring the kit. My leg is starting to hurt badly. I can be by the tree in an hour, hour and a half. When can you pick me up? 

Marko, Olli’s out of town. He can’t make it there before, say, 5 am. And I’m not in Vegas, either. If I go to pick him up… yeah, definitely 5 am is the best we can do. Do you think you’ll make it till then? Or do I send someone? 

No, don’t send anyone. Damn! I really need you guys... – Marko frowned and hunched. The pain was getting stronger every hour. 

Can you make it till 5 am? – Jaska was worried, but there was only so much he could do. If it was up to him, he would have sent someone straight away, but he wouldn’t defy Marko’s wishes. 

Yeah… I’ll make it. 

Ok, see you then. 

See you. 

Andrea saw that something changed. Marko turned around and stopped for a moment when he saw she was watching him. Then he continued walking. 

A change of plan, Andrea. – Andrea went cold in a second – you’ll have to keep me company a little longer. You’ll take me where you need to take me, and then… we wait for my friends. They will come at 5 am. 

Andrea didn’t say a word. She was counting hours till her freedom, only to find out it’s going to take longer than she was hoping. What does she do now? And who are these friends? She doesn’t want to wait for any friends of his. He might let her go in the end, but what if they know better than that? No, she will definitely not stick around to meet them. She felt she was losing her calm. Calm down. He was almost in front of her, circling around her to sit back.

So, what happened to your leg? 

She regretted it the moment she said it. It was far from subtle and didn’t sound caring at all. He stopped and turned to her. He was back in his bad mood and she saw he momentarily straightened up and looked at her coldly. 

Nothing. An accident. 

He was still there, not moving. Staring down at her. With the car behind her and the ill-tempered kidnapper in front of her, Andrea started panicking. He was never so close to her, and she was aware he was quite bigger. With or without that leg, he was threatening. Think! Say something nice… What the fuck can be said in such situation and sound nicely?!

Does it hurt? – That was the best she could come up with. She honestly tried to sound as sweet and caring as possible.

To say that Marko expected to keep her hostage until the morning was an understatement. He didn’t have any painkiller on him and the unexpected twist sure didn’t make him happy. He still couldn’t figure out the girl. She seemed sweet and gentle, but it was as if his senses were picking up some undertones of menace and threat from her. He would’ve figured her out sooner if he wasn’t in pain and if everything went according to the plan. Plus, he was tired. So, was she a little miss obedient or a little trickster? Time will tell. He tilted his head. She sure was a pretty little thing. Too bad he respected woman, and she definitely respected herself. 

It does, at moments. Let’s ride – he turned and sat in his place. She sat as well. She raised her right palm for the keys. Marko lowered them softly on her palm. As he was pulling back his hand, his right small finger gently brushed against her wrist. The warm caress was so inviting. Andrea gasped and turned around to look at Marko before she realised what she was doing. He was leaning forward, and she didn’t expect his face would be so close to hers. But she didn’t flinch back. Neither of them was breathing for a couple of seconds. Her bluish-grey eyes were truly wonderful, Marko thought. White complexion, dark, feather-light hair, she truly was a beauty. That little wrist touch was so worth it. Andrea blinked, looking puzzled and confused, and turned back. Marko leaned back in his seat. Her eyes were on the road now. She started the engine.


	5. Please

Andrea was thinking feverishly. Her best chance of getting away was to seduce him, exit the car, somehow take her belongings from him, jump back in the car and leave him in the middle of the desert. The oldest story in the book. But she wasn’t that type of woman. She didn’t want to become one now. And she didn’t see his face. How could she even contemplate touching or kissing someone whose face she hasn’t seen? His face could tell her a lot. At the same time, it was a gamble. What if the mask was hiding the face of a cruel sadist? It’s a risk, and he could end up angrier, but she couldn’t think straight. She didn’t want to wait for his friends. She had an idea. If it doesn’t work… it better work. 

She rolled down her window and looked at him. He looked at the window, and then at her with a question in his eyes, but said nothing. The window next to him was smashed so there was no reason to open another window, and it was not a hot night, but ok. He didn’t mind. She kept her eyes on the road. She needed to make him feel calm again. Another few miles of peaceful ride. 

Suddenly, the car took a sharp turn to the left. Marko flew to the right. The car kept winding in an unpredictable pattern. This wasn’t happening on its own.  
Hey! Watch it! – in the next turn the gun fell down to his feet. He cursed and started feeling for it. 

Watch the road!

I am! I am watching! You do the driving! - Andrea was … laughing! What the hell was going on? She was playing with the wheel, placing the hands on it and lifting them off it as she wanted. Marko was completely confused. What was she doing?

Are you trying to kill us? Take the wheel!

No! You take it if you want to! – and with these words she drove them off the road releasing the wheel. The wheels grumbled when they hit the rougher surface and the car started jumping up and down.

It was a matter of seconds before they bump into something and the car breaks down. He couldn’t let that happen. Instinctively Marko pushed next to her and grabbed the wheel trying to get them back on the road. At that moment Andrea reached for his neck with both her hands and with one smooth move (later on she thought how it was pure luck) she tore the mask off his head, scratching him in the process and flung it through her window. She could see his face now! 

Marko managed to take hold of the wheel but suddenly was blinded as his mask blocked his view. The car kept on swerving. Not letting go, he felt scratches and a sudden rush of cold air on his face. His mask was off!

With both of them holding the wheel the car was on the road in a fraction of second, and after a few scary whirls it came to a sudden stop. They kept staring at each other, not letting go the wheel.

Blue eyes, blond hair, pale, long face, thin lips. – Andrea chanted. She knew she would remember his features better if she speaks them, in case he has a back-up mask somewhere. 

What?! What the hell were you doing? What is the matter with you? – Marko shouted, letting go of the wheel and turning to face her. He felt over exposed like this, with her seeing his face. 

What?! What is the matter with you? Do you often kidnap people and make them drive you to the middle of nowhere at night? - Andrea was satisfied the mask was off. That was his weakness no. 3. She’s got the upper hand now. She let go off the wheel. 

Marko leaned back to reach for the gun. It’s not like he planned to use it, but she was out of control, and had to be scared down. 

Looking for the gun, big guy? – She shouted angrily at his back. – Ha? Planning to kill me after all? Is that it? Go ahead, you ugly motherfucker! Get done with it!  
Marko couldn’t believe what she was saying. He turned around with a gun in his hand. 

You see this? The gun? I don’t need it, ok? I won’t use it on you. Ok? Will you just calm down? – to back his words, he placed the gun by his belt at the back. He raised his hands as if to calm her down – See? No gun in my hands.

Andrea was thrilled. Everything went according to her plan. She kept looking mistrustful and like she’s losing it. 

Will you just calm down… please? 

She just watched him, judgingly. She did judge him, actually. Now that she was playing him, she relaxed to soak up the image of his face. He was no where near the beauty standard, but she never liked the magazine boys. Nevertheless, his masculine face was very exotic. Light brown eyebrows arched above light blue eyes, diamond-shaped face, small mouth shaping a heart now they are half-opened… That tense expression on his face, along with the physical pain he feels... and the way his hands are raised right now, as if tied up above his head… She actually found it hard to stop looking at his handsome features. Such a shame how they met. He was still waiting for some response. She snapped back to reality. 

No need for the gun. You could’ve simply said ‘please’ – she sniffed still looking him in the eyes.

Marko genuinely smiled, releasing some of his tension though that smile. 

Ok, ok. How about we make a break here, and eat some of your food, if that’s ok with you? And later on we’ll drive? Please? 

He had such a sweet smile, Andrea thought. That boyish, sincere, goofy, toothy smile attracted her like a moth to the flame. 

Ok. I am hungry. You can lower your hands now. Let’s eat – and she smiled back at him. She didn’t know how her smile looked, but the man suddenly widened his eyes and turned all serious. He looked away, and got out of the car. The way he said ‘please’ was still ringing in her ears. Even his voice was… extraordinary. Clean and brisk, manly and … seductive. If she could have him tied up somewhere, saying ‘please’… She broke her daydreaming and went out.


	6. Eye of the storm

The car was left in the middle of the road. Andrea had a blanket in the trunk, and soon they had something reminding of a picnic in the middle of the night. Desert nights were clear and this one was no exception. Stars could be seen everywhere. It was almost romantic. 

Andrea was happily munching through a sandwich with processed meat. There was bread, processed meat, luckily pre-sliced, pickles, sliced cheese, and various types of snacks and sweets. The man started his meal with an apple, and then made a similar sandwich only with cheese. Andrea was really happy at that moment, because all this stress has taken its toll on her. Anything resembling a normal situation was a welcome change for the better. 

Marko was enjoying this eye of the storm, too. He had a soft spot for people who did not belong to criminal circles, and he always tried to avoid harming them. The thought of scaring this woman so much that she wanted him to kill her and get it over with filled him with guilt. He was looking at her, sitting perched over her sandwich like a bird, or a cat. Suddenly, she looked him right in the eyes. She smiled, and he smiled back. But her smile… there was something devilish about it.

May I know your name? Or should I remember you as the ‘masked villain’?

Marko startled. This was the first time that she broke the silence. The ‘masked villain’ made him laugh and feel bad at the same time. 

Hm… it’s better if you don’t know my name. Anyway, I’m not masked any longer - he shrugged his shoulders. 

Yeah, if it was your way, you would still be wearing that. 

What? – What could she mean by that, Marko wondered. Did she do it on purpose? He asked her that, but she avoided giving any clear answer and just munched on. There was definitely more than meets the eye about her. He was intrigued. Did this doll-like creature play him? He could never point a gun at her again, and it seems like she knew it. She must have read his mind, because she looked up from her sandwich and gave him a meaningful look. 

Another jolt of pain raising from his calf made him wince. She noticed he was in agony. He was a pale guy, but she doesn’t remember him being this pale half an hour ago. 

Is it getting worse?

Yes. Do you have any painkillers? 

No. I never buy them. Sorry. – She came and sat closer. – Can I help you somehow? 

He observed her face. He hasn’t seen that expression before. Maybe this was her genuine caring? Who knew?

No, thanks. I’m afraid we have to get going. I don’t know how much longer I will stay awake. 

What do you mean?

I was shot hours ago. I made a bandage, but – he touched it with his left hand – it’s still bleeding. It should’ve stopped bleeding, but it didn’t. I might be in and out of consciousness. That’s why I made that call. My friends will pick me up. One of them is a doctor, he knows what to do. 

Andrea was baffled. He was trusting her enough to tell her all that? 

And I can’t help you with getting this stuff back into the trunk. I’m sorry. I actually need your help to the car right now. Can you help me? Please? 

Again, that eager ‘please’ from his lips. His face was twisted in pain. God he was gorgeous when in pain. 

Sure. Things I will do for the ‘masked villain’ – she tried to break the tension with some humor, but it didn’t help. She stood up.

Take my hand. 

He did. She pulled him up, but making him steady was something completely different. Later on, she could never remember how exactly it worked, him being somehow over her right shoulder. She felt his weight pushing her down. Luckily, he was still wide awake and the car was just a few feet away.

Front seat or back?

Front. 

He slid, or better tumbled inside. She needed to buckle him up, and to do that she needed to stretch over his body. Her head went over his chest and stomach. As she was buckling him up, he lowered his head. When she tried to pull back out, he took her right hand in his right hand.  
I don’t like being called the ‘masked villain’. I don’t see myself as a villain. 

What?

I hope you don’t see me as a villain either. It’s Marko. – He smiled – Nice to meet you, Andrea. 

He shook her hand. 

Nice to meet you, Marko.


	7. A window of opportunity

Beer cans and deer’s eyes were the only signs of life on the highway. This vast wasteland could play strange tricks on the psyche. It was like they were crossing to another state of being. Andrea looked at the car time. It was well beyond 2 am. Marko groaned from time to time. His face was sweating. And he was out of consciousness ten minutes ago. It only lasted for a second, his head just tilted, as if he fell asleep, but it was freakish. 

Marko? How are you feeling? – She patted him on the left thigh. He was aware of it, but couldn’t turn his head to her. 

I’ve been worse… and better. What time is it? 

Almost two thirty. 

He rolled his eyes. – Two and a half hours more. 

Where do you want me to stop?

There are two exits in front of us. Just drive on. After the second one, some five miles after it, there’s a big oak tree. It stands alone. Nothing around it. Can’t miss it. Drive off the road and park next to it. Don’t worry, all that area is super flat, you won’t bump your car. 

How long till we get there? 

Twenty minutes, maybe twenty-five. 

Ok. Try to get some rest. 

There was another way Andrea could tell when Marko was in pain. His hands. She could see his left hand from the corner of her eye. It rested in his lap. His fingers were curving inside, making a fist when he felt pain. They relaxed when the pain was gone. She wondered how it would feel if he touched her with these expressive hands. There it was, flinching again. Andrea sighed and kept driving. 

Twenty minutes and two exits later, she saw the tree. It really stood there as a lonely mountain, unmissable. She turned the car to the right. Marko swayed in his seat.

Here you can see some of the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets in the States. And what did you mean by ‘ugly motherfucker’? 

She burst out laughing in surprise. She did say that! Yikes! And he remembered it! She blushed in shame. 

Why are you laughing?

Because of what you asked. I’m sorry for that, really. 

What did I ask? What are you sorry for?

Andrea glanced at him. 

Don’t you remember what you just asked me?

No. 

Is that expected in your condition? 

Yes. It will all come back later, but I will keep forgetting parts of conversation. 

This was scary. In and out of consciousness, forgetting things… - Anything else? 

Yes. I might get fever, and people act weird when they have fever.

God damn! 

Yeah, God damn from me, too – he smiled, faintly. 

The car stopped. 

Marko said he may be more comfortable in the back seat. He pulled some strength, got up and went there all by himself, while Andrea was cleaning the remaining parts of glass, but he was out of consciousness almost the second he lay down. This time he was back again in five minutes. Five minutes that felt like an eternity to Andrea. She was starting to fear he might die before his friends arrive. Fever came. His head was behind the right seat. He was rolling in the back, taking his jacket off, and then his shirt until he was in a T-shirt. Andrea tried to explain it was cold outside, but he was burning. The jacket and the shirt fell down. Andrea went there to pick them up. She also picked the gun up and carefully deposited it in the glove department. 

Technically, this was the moment she was hoping for a few hours earlier. He was weak, out of consciousness, she could easily have thrown him out of the car and leave, save herself. Funny how things take an unexpected turn. She didn’t need saving from him now. She needed him to be saved now. But she wasn’t the one to do it. All she could do was to wait with him.


	8. Why are you still here?

She wouldn’t dare falling asleep, even if she could. Marko’s state was erratic now. He was turning around, moaning, wincing, and speaking nonsense for the last hour. At one point he was telling her he was a gladiator! She was trying to lower his temperature by applying cold things (the cold thing being his shirt soaked with water) to him and it seemed to have some result. He was in a light grey T-shirt, which went darker due to his sweat and cold water. He looked so fragile… in these moments. However, this was only due to his present state. When she first laid her eyes on his body, back when he took off jacket and shirt, she just gasped. He was like one of those action figures boys play with. Ok, not that silly buff but everything from shoulders to calves was masculine and virile. 

Andrea was sitting in the driver seat, half-turned to watch him, leaning on her right shoulder. Her legs ached and she struggled to find the right position. Right now, Marko was conscious, she noticed by the way his breathing calmed. He opened his eyes and searched for her eyes. There was a serious expression on his face.

Hi there, Marko. 

Hi. How long was I out? 

Fifteen minutes. 

Can I ask you a question? – he asked, piercing her with his eyes.

Sure. 

Why are you still here?

Andrea let out some air noisily, making a weird face. 

Why wouldn’t I be? Are you saying I should leave you like this? 

I’m not saying anything. I’m simply asking you why you are still here. 

Andrea looked away in something similar to anger, but said nothing. She tightened her lips and looked through the passenger’s window. Far in front of them, the night was surrendering to the day. Marko was persistent in getting some answer. 

It’s a simple question. I kidnapped you last night, using you for a ride, messing up your plans, making you fear for your life. – Her face was as clenched as a fist – And you’re still here. You could’ve run away. I’m not your friend, your family, your business associate, your lover, and you’re still here. 

Marko made a slight pause after the word ‘lover’, tilting his head to see her better. He knew where to look. Just a slight widening of eyes will do. Or tiny raising of a brow. A held breath, followed by a sharper inhale. They were all here. He grinned inside, but she couldn’t see it. 

I liked you better when you were out of consciousness. – Andrea said, still not looking at Marko.

Marko’s mental grin got wider. 

Andrea flinched when Marko growled. He blacked out again. She was quickly at his feet. His eyes were half open, but he couldn’t see. She was worried sick. Holding the back door with her left hand and leaning to the right, she didn’t know what to do. She sighed. Her eyes were all over him. He really was handsome, lying on his left hip, T-shirt pulled up and revealing a small part of his stomach. She looked at his legs. His injured leg was right there. She could touch it… With her left foot she touched his calf, gently, as if inspecting the foreign territory. She applied some pressure, and his eyes shrank. She couldn’t refrain herself from pressing more. He moaned. Mouth open wide, she watched as he tried to escape the source of pain by turning and lying at his back, tucking the injured leg safe. She gazed as in a trance. He was wincing on his back, legs half bent to the right, T-shirt pulled up even more, his muscular arms trying to find the right position around his head. The rush she had of hurting him was hard to describe. The more it hurt him, the more pleasure in it for her. That wicked bliss was intoxicating. It took all of her will power to stop it and return the left foot to the ground. Andrea, she thought, it’s bad to hurt people when they don’t know it. Only do it when they know it. 

His phone was in the jacket. He was really ill. It was past four, the dawn was breaking, and she knew she had to call his friends to hurry up. His battery was almost dead. She’ll use her phone. She found his last call, typed the number and waited for anyone to answer. But there was no answer. She sent a text ‘I’m with your friend, he’s really ill, I need to talk to you. Please hurry’. Seen. Ok. She called again. 

Yes? Who is it? 

Hello, I’m with your friend, the one you’re supposed to pick up by the tree. He’s been passing in and out of consciousness for the last two hours. He’s got fever. 

We’ll be there in half an hour.

What car are you driving? 

Red Buick, why? 

Doesn’t matter. Just hurry. I’m trying to lower his temperature, but there’s nothing else I can do. Bye.

Bye. 

That was it. Half an hour… She might as well make some memories. 

Twenty minutes later she saw a distant car on the horizon. It seemed… no, it was red. They hurried. Good. It was time for her to leave. She squatted in front of Marko, who was sitting on the ground with his back to the tree. He was not really there. Pity they can’t have a proper goodbye. She got in her car and drove off.


	9. A gif, photo and text

Jaska and Olli were expecting to see that woman, but Marko was alone. It must have been her in that little car. Never mind. They ran out the car to get to Marko. 

How is he, Olli?

Dehydrated, lost a lot of blood. He’s bad. - Olli was giving Marko two injections as he was talking - We need to get him to my place. You drive us to the back entrance; I’ll sneak him in.

Something buzzed. 

Is that you? – Olli asked. 

No – Jaska said – it’s his cellular, here, on the jacket. 

They hauled him inside the Buick and drove. An hour later he was inside Olli’s private practice and well taken care of. Olli was supposed to be out of town, so he didn’t have any appointments for the day, and no nurses were in there. That meant Jaska had to act as a nurse. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Jaska already had some practice in that line of work. Two men let Marko sleep and have rest, checking him up every half an hour. They found him sitting up in the bed when they came to see him at 1 pm. 

Hey, guys, good to see you! – he said smiling and spread his arms to greet them.

Both men smiled back and came to hug him. Good to see you, too – said Jaska. 

You scared the shit out of us – Olli said. – A part of the bullet was stuck in your leg. That’s why you kept bleeding. It was also poisoning you, who the hell knows where that bullet came from. It was covered with a type of poison which can’t be detected on metal unless it makes a contact with skin. Yours reacted badly. It was a beginning of a severe case of gangrene.  
Yeah, I was really weak at times. But it wasn’t like in 2012! – Marko grinned.

No! Nothing can beat 2012! – Jaska laughed. Olli just grinned and rolled his eyes. – The number of stitches you got back then… 

Guys, was there a girl with me when you came? 

No – Olli said. – You mean, the one who called?

I don’t know anything about that call, I don’t remember many things – Marko said, frowning. 

Olli continued – She called us some time before we got to you. She actually wanted to hurry us up. She said you were in a bad state, out of consciousness, feverish… When Jaska heard that he just hit the gas and we came as soon as we could. But she was already far. Small, silver car, right? 

Yes.

Yeah, it had to be her. 

Ok. – Marko said, but he wasn’t ok. He was disappointed in a way. – Where are my things? 

In the admission room – Jaska said. – I put your cellular on power, its battery was dead. Do you want me to get them?

Yes, please. Please – Marko said in a weird way, smiling to himself.

What? 

Nothing… I just remembered something. 

Jaska went out.

Your temperature was high for a while. Good thing she was lowering it down. – Olli said, patting Marko’s hand. 

Here – Jaska said when he came back. 

Marko took his jacket and pulled the wallet out of a pocket. 

My money’s gone! She took my money! – Marko was shocked.

How much did you have? – Olli asked. 

About 170 bucks… but she took it! From me! 

Other two men laughed at the shocked expression on Marko’s face. 

It’s not that much. She took some recompensation money. You did kidnap her… so… No harm done – Jaska was having so much fun with these. 

Where’s my gun? Do you remember finding my gun? – Marko was getting frantic. He was checking his cellular now.

No… No gun. – Jaska said.

I’ve got messages… unknown number. 

There was a gif, photo and text. Marko checked the gif first. It was two alternating photos of him, and it took him a couple of seconds to realise what he was really seeing. He was lying on the ground, making angels in the thin dry grass. Full figure, shot from above. His eyes were closed, he looked sick. He kept staring at the gif, not remembering anything about it. Flabbergasted, he had no idea what to think of it. It looked so weird and sick. Olli and Jaska couldn’t resisting having a peek. 

Wow, that’s bizarre – Ollie said. 

That’s insane. The girl’s insane – Jaska replied instantly. 

Don’t call her insane! – Marko snapped. 

Oh, sorry, I forgot – Jaska apologized, exchanging a meaningful glance with Olli. Olli raised his brow. He was surprised that Marko wouldn’t let Jaska call the girl insane. He normally didn’t want to be called that himself, but to protect her from such name calling… Well, that could wait. 

Marko checked out the photo. He gave a short laugh, again mixed with surprise. It was a selfie of two of them. They were sitting next to each other, with their backs against the tree. She was wearing a ski mask. His spare ski mask he always had in his jacket. She did a good job of going through his stuff. It looked as if she was smiling under the mask, but you couldn’t see any of her features, really, not even her hair. The mask covered everything. Everything except those wonderful, glossy eyes. 

Hey, you look happy on that one – Jaska commented. 

Marko didn’t even look at himself. Hm, true, he did look happy. His eyes were open, he had a goofy crooked smile. What were they talking about that made him so … at ease? 

You should hang this one in your lobby – Olli joked. 

These must have been taken just before we arrived, it was dawning – Jaska added. 

And there was a text. Marko paused. He didn’t want to read it right now. All of a sudden it was incredibly important what she wrote. He wanted to savor it, later, when he is alone. It was the last cue, the last thing he had of her. When he reads it, he will have nothing left of her. He will be so disappointed if the text is a simple ‘lol’ or something. He wished it was something witty and meaningful. Above all, he hoped it would contain a trail that would lead him to her. 

Jaska, send people to find her. 

At first, Jaska laughed, but then he got serious. He saw that Marko meant it. – Really? Why? You want to waste our resources on someone who took 170 bucks? I don’t think she would brag about it in the underworld. Who would even believe her? She’s a civilian, right? 

At that point Marko realised that he doesn’t really know much about her. He doesn’t remember her mentioning what she does in life, where she lives, who she lives with. He took her for a civilian, but civilians never steal things from their kidnappers when given a chance.

Just find her.

Where do we start? – Jaska raised his hands in disbelief – Shall I give my men this photo of her, wearing a fucking ski mask? What’s her name?

Andrea.

And last name?

Marko had to admit that he didn’t know that. He was facing two sets of raised eyebrows, widened eyes and gaping mouths. 

You didn’t check her ID when you were driving behind her?! Are you kidding me?! You always check these things! – Jaska cried out. 

Look. I’m feeling a bit tired now. I’ll read the text later. Things will come to me in the next few days. Maybe I’ll remember something important. I know it’s not much right now. I will know more. And your men will find her. 

Ok, Marko. You’re the boss. 

They talked some more about other things, and Jaska and Olli left the room. Marko was alone. It was time to read the text. Was he ready? No, but wanted to read it to quench his desire. It was long! Thank god.

Hi, Marko Saaresto (Alex Thorne,..) I hope you are well. Weird gif, right? I don’t know what you did there, but it seemed important. That was one magnificent sunrise. You passed out when I had to leave. I couldn’t risk meeting your friends. That was no real goodbye. Sorry for the money, and the gun, I decided to keep them. You did point a gun at my head after all. And you did not even try to kiss me.  
Andrea

It was impossible to relax after reading this. Marko felt like a beast trapped inside a cage. He jumped off the bed and started pacing up and down the empty room. Earlier on, Marko said nothing when Jaska asked him why he wanted this girl to be found. That’s why! She pulled his right strings. He couldn’t believe it, but it was the truth. He was usually the one playing others. She played him with that fake drive-off-the-road accident, she didn’t share information about herself, she stole from him. She played him, and he had to admit to himself that he enjoyed it. She did it so well that he was thirsty for more. Also, not all of it was the game. The meal they shared under starlight, in the middle of the desert… Marko was fully aware that after that meal, when he was starting to feel bad, she had four hours of chances to leave him on the road, sick and wounded, and drive off. Especially near the end, when he was more out of consciousness than awake. Somebody else would have left him in the blink of an eye, but not her. She played him, and was there for him. And he loved every moment of it.


	10. Twenty minutes before Olli and Jaska came

Andrea was sipping wine, trying to watch a movie on TV, but she couldn’t stop replaying events from the last night in her head. What a ride! What the hell happened in those eight hours they spent together? Her mind was racing back and forth, trying to remember as much as possible. She didn’t want to forget anything. Whatever she started doing, she was going back to Marko. Thank god she made all those pictures of him. Thirty-seven photos, to be precise. It’s funny how sometimes you manage to do a lot in a short time. 

***

Right before calling Marko’s mysterious friends, Andrea was going through Marko’s stuff. The gun was safely disposed in the glove compartment, so she turned attention to his jacket. And, my, oh, my! His wallet contained not one, but six IDs from different countries. His US ID wrote he was Marko Saaresto, born in Finland. His other IDs were Bertrand Lavigne (France), Alex Thorne (Australia), Igor Listratov (Russia), Sam Wallace (UK) and – Andrea laughed out loudly when she saw this one – Enrique Suarez (Mexico). She couldn’t see him fooling anyone he was a Mexican! 

There was a decent amount of money in there. She’ll take it as a payment for her distress. A man who has half a dozen identities can spare that much money. She’ll take the gun, too. Not that she personally knows how to use it, but she might know someone who would be willing to buy it. Or she’ll take it just to spite Marko some more. And there was another ski mask! Marko, you devil, you have a spare one! Hm, so he could’ve put it back on any time… Why didn’t he? Andrea realised that he probably thought comforting a scared woman would be more natural without the mask. Because he did comfort her… Aww, he was such a sweetheart then, she thought, grinning to herself. 

After she called his buddies, she became aware that it would not be a bad idea to photo Marko’s aliases, just in case she wanted to find him later. To tell the truth, she already knew she would try and find him. So, she took the photos of the IDs. 

Marko was still wincing in pain lying on his back. Without giving it much thought she took a couple of photos of him lying on the back seat, too. That was just for her personal collection. She found him very attractive. 

The next thing to do was to get him out of the car. To minimize the effort of dragging him out, she moved the car as close to the tree as possible. There. She opened the right back door, took him under his arms and pulled him outside. It was weird holding him so close. His head was lulling on her bosom, his blond hair prickling her on the chin. Ok. He was in a seated position, his back to the tree. As soon as she turned to take his stuff out of the car, he just slid down to the ground. Fever was so strong. Holding his shirt and jacket, she watched him doing something weird. On his back, he was twitching his arms and legs, lifting them slightly up and down, moving them away from the body and bringing them close to it again. Not seizure, this was something else. She placed his shirt close to him, folding the jacket under his head, and took a few shots of this strange activity as well. His eyes were pressed closed and it was like he was re-living something, something disturbing, Andrea thought by the look on his face. O Marko, what demons haunt you? Kneeling next to him, she felt his forehead. It was so hot. She always carried water with her. She poured some water on his shirt again and applied it to his forehead. 

He calmed down. After a few unsuccessful attempts of blinking, he opened his eyes. What lovely, bright blue eyes he had! But Andrea wasn’t dazed by their color, she was dazed by the intelligence and sharp mind that could be seen behind those eyes. He looked so tortured and tired that she just wanted to wrap him in something soft and hug him. 

Hi there – he broke the silence, smiling.

Hi. Your friends will be here in ten or fifteen minutes. 

Ok. Don’t look at the time now or you’ll miss this sight. It’s dawning in the desert. 

It really was dawning. Andrea was so preoccupied with preparing to leave that she almost didn’t notice it. 

You’re right. I’ll help you up, so… grab me around the neck – Andrea said, looking down at him from her kneeling position. Her face was just above his. He reached out with his right hand, supporting himself with the left. His right palm was curved around her neck. Andrea was fully aware he was touching her at last. Wow, she thought about it a few hours ago, and it was everything she wanted it to be, even better. Their eyes were locked on each other. Asking questions, looking for support, eager to connect, demanding for comfort. 

But they were almost out of time. Startling both him and herself, she pushed up, until Marko leaned nicely on the tree. The moment was gone. Andrea sat next to Marko and looked at the horizon. On the East, far across the immense desert, a kaleidoscope of the most beautiful pinks, oranges and yellows was slowly advancing to meet them. The delicate and yet overwhelming presence of a new beginning was almost unbearable. Andrea wished she could undo some of her previous choices in life and make some better ones in the process. Unable to ignore the pressure, she shed a single tear. Luckily, Marko didn’t see it. 

Old Macdonald had a farm e-i-e-i-o… - Marko suddenly started singing. 

Andrea burst into laughter – Why are you singing that?

What? I don’t know any song about the dawn, so I figured this one will do – He said, giving her a goofy crooked smile and shrugging his shoulders. 

And on his farm, he had a – what, Andrea?

I’m not gonna sing that kids song!

Why not? Kids songs are awesome! What did Old MacDonald have on his farm?

A cow! – Andrea shouted. 

Yeah! E-i-e-i-o! 

But the time they finished the first chorus with moo moos they were roaring in laughter. Andrea said that she wanted to take a photo of them. Marko didn’t mind. However, he laughed some more when Andrea pulled a ski mask out of his jacket and put it on, holding her phone in front of them.

Now I’m ready! Marko, can I ask you a question? You had this one all the time. Why didn’t you put it on? 

What’s the point? You would’ve taken that one off as well. Told you sunrises here were awesome. 

Andrea smiled and touched the screen. 

Andrea knew it was almost time his friends got there. – Marko? I have to leave now. Marko? 

He didn’t respond and she looked over her shoulder. His head was on her shoulder. Damn. She got up, fixing him more stable. His stuff was next to him. She collected her things and got them into the car. She went back to Marko. She took his cellular to get his number. Done. She placed the phone on his jacket. She sat next to him for a minute or two, feeling his warmth, watching the highway. And then she spotted a car in the distance.


	11. Autumn mood

Yes, those twenty minutes in the dawn sure seemed more like two hours. She was still acting feverishly. Andrea was never comfortable with lying. It may seem foolish, but Andrea was quite honest with herself when it comes to detangling feelings and emotions. From time to time it was inevitable to lie to others, but lying to herself was never an option. Part of it could be blamed on the dangerous situation, and the natural responses of body like hormonal changes. Body and mind fight the stress and pressure they are under. But part of it was nothing but a good old crush, as stupid and cliché as it sounds. 

Being quite picky, she always found it hard to connect with people. For the same reason, the connections that did manage to take root were anything but superficial. In her cruel sincerity Andrea knew she wanted to find out everything she can about Marko, because she planned to meet him as soon as the time was right. Why? Because she felt connected to him on more levels than one, and she did not want to lose that chance of getting in touch with someone special to her. There was something about him that couldn’t be easily defined. It was like he was two or three persons in one. A man who hijacked her car into the night but kept his distance. A man in physical pain, with mental Versailles in his troubled mind. And a Peter Pan figure gently swaying in the sea of seesaws. All wrapped-up in one, with that handsome body and clever face, he was irresistible to her.

So, what did she know about her ‘masked villain’? For starters, he had a lot of IDs. Ugly truth was he must have been some sort of a criminal. Honest people don’t go around with fake names. He did mention something about not wanting her to think he is a villain, and that he doesn’t feel that way about himself. It was a leap of faith to believe it, but Andrea was ready to make it. He may have had a reason for being a criminal. Far-fetched, improbable, but not impossible. When he made that unexpected revelation of his name, he said he was ‘Marko’. Since he was already feverish, chances are that was his real (or most often used) name. She looked for him online, but found only three profiles, two with family photos and one with photo of flowers. None of them fit, she thought. He also mentioned his apartment, and not being able to use his car. That’s why he kidnapped her at that supermarket parking. That meant he could be living near by. Andrea’s close group of friends had friends who had friends who had friends, etc. And through her connections Andrea was often able to get precisely what she needed. Without stirring too much, Andrea asked her friends to ask around, under the radar, if anyone knows a Marko Saaresto, born on December 5, 1970 in Finland, living in Alamo, possibly close to her, in fishy business up to his neck. 

She felt like a spider, sitting in the middle of her net. Sooner or later, one of the strings will be pulled, bringing her the information. Waiting was nerve-wracking, but eventually she was right. Three weeks later, this was what she learned from two different sources: there was a Marko Saaresto fitting that description. He lived in an old building right across the supermarket, on the fourth floor, door 15. Parents and a younger sister were back in Finland. He was an MIT student who dropped out but stayed in the States. He was often seen hanging around with people in the business of construction. Nobody knew what he really did for living. He had two close friends, also Finns – Andrea wondered if they were the ones who came for him. A tall guy with dark hair, and a shorter guy with very light blond hair. And last, but not the least important: Marko was single, with no known former spouse or a steady lover. 

So, what could she do with these pieces of information? Use them to find out more. October evenings are perfect for some light walking and stalking. 

Being an editor for a book publishing company, Andrea had free evenings. It’s been a while since she stalked anyone, but it all came back smoothly. On the first day she just leisurely walked past the building, making sure where it was, observing the surroundings. She noticed a little street bar next to the supermarket, which offered a great view of the building’s door. It was a cozy place to wait in. 

On the second day, she walked there right after she got home. Using her car would be a no-no, as Marko might see it. She could easily blend in the crowd. She walked, and sat in that little bar. Two cappuccinos later, she saw two guys, matching description of Marko’s friends enter the building. Another cappuccino, and she was frustrated with waiting. Nothing was happening. She left.

She returned the next day, to see the same men enter the building at approximately the same time. It was six fifty. Ok, now that was something. She had a wonderful idea what to do the next day. Hopefully they will not be too late or early.

On the fourth day, she leisurely stood somewhat away from the entrance of the building at six forty, with an empty suitcase and a map in her hand. She was pretending to watch the map, and read something on her phone. And there they were, approaching. Her Finnish crew, as she called them. 

Hi there! – She gave them her sweetest smile. – Is this the fastest way to the downtown? I just got here…

Yeah, just follow the road – The tall guy said, looking intently at her. The blond guy stood by, silently watching. He was smiling, but not really smiling. Good thing she had her sunglasses on. 

Wow, thanks. I’m from a small town and I’m lost here. My name’s Sandra, nice to meet you – she extended her arm to shake hands with the dark-haired man. He immediately responded, smiling.

I’m Jaska. 

Jaska? Am I saying it right? Jaska! Wow, where are you from? 

The other man didn’t like this familiarizing, she could tell. He was shifting on his feet. – C’mon, we need to go. Good luck, Sandra – he said, not revealing his name. He’s a tough one. 

Bye, Sandra! – Jaska smiled, and started turning away.

Bye, guys! 

The two men went inside, and Andrea walked away. She was pleased how it all went. She knew one more name. Jaska sounded like a possible Finnish name, and these guys had some accent. They might really be those friends of Marko’s. A quick search on the net said that Jaska was a Finnish male name. Bingo! She spoke to one of them on the phone that morning! It was them in that red Buick, coming to pick Marko up! Andrea couldn’t stop smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Autumn mood, Pastlink knows why ;)


	12. Mixing business with pleasure

No, Overboard has its back covered. Yesterday they signed the deal with the Mayor for the concessions for the next four years. Nobody can touch them. – Olli was explaining over his beer. He was sitting in an armchair, while two other man were sitting on a couch. A low table among them was filled with blueprints and documents. Marko’s living room, as well as the rest of the apartment, was small and not crowded, but comfortable. 

So, they will build that road after all… despite all the petitions and warning from the locals. – Jaska added, fiddling his fingers on the table surface. 

Yes – Olli replied. – It’s now on the state level, and the state has its ways to deal with this type of situation. 

They’re throwing their annual Halloween party in two weeks, right? – Marko suddenly asked. 

Seriously, Marko? You’re thinking about costumes now? – Olli laughed in shock. 

Marko gave him a mean sideways look – That’s what you think I’m thinking about? – He grinned at his blonde buddy. – Well, there’s not much we can do at this moment. We’ll wait for a while. There’s two weeks till the party. People drink at the party; their tongues get loose… 

And they wear funny things – Jaska finished Marko’s sentence. He and Olli looked at each other and burst out in laughter. Marko rolled his eyes, but gave a short laugh, too. They did know him well, and they stayed with him, through all these years. 

Admit it, you just want to find some wicked costume and be seen in it. – Olli’s eyes teared. - Please, keep a low profile this time, ok? Your last year’s pirate outfit was… I was embarrassed to stand next to you. 

I looked good! - Marko smirked confidently. 

You were the belle of the ball! 

Howls of unsuppressed laughter were echoing throughout the small apartment.


	13. Plotting for the party

There was no real need to keep up her little stalking spree, because Andrea has identified Marko’s friends. Plus, not much she can learn from walking outside his building or gazing through the café window from across the street. She knew where he lived, and she knew how his friends looked. However, she kept coming. Not every day, but once in three-four days. She was hoping to get a glance of Marko. She changed her stalking schedule twice but with no results. After the lucky break with meeting his friends, Andrea had no improvement whatsoever, which left her feeling frustrated. She hoped to hear something useful soon. 

Lady Fortune smiled at Andrea once again. More little pieces of precious information came. Someone thought that Marko worked for or with a construction company called Overboard. She heard that name, and knew they were big sharks. The same person mentioned an upcoming Halloween costume party. Momentarily, an image of him swaggering in an over-the-top costume came to her mind. Andrea smiled to herself. But, of course! Somehow, she had the feeling that Marko enjoyed such masquerade events. Chances are he might attend the party, so she needed to attend it. However, her own company, Muse Books, was throwing a party, too. 

***

Hey, Becks, when’s our party? – Andrea asked her co-worker across the desk the next morning. She had to raise her head high up to look over her screen to see Becky. Becky’s upper part of the face popped-up instantly. 

I think it’s on 30th… that’s Friday – Becky said, looking at the calendar. 

Friday? Are you sure?

Yes. It’s on Friday. 

Andrea looked at the calendar, too. – I mean, the party, not the 30th. Is the party on Friday? 

Yes, definitely. Simon said it yesterday.

Perfect. 

Soon after they had a break together. Becky was chatting about her latest boyfriend. Poor soul, she didn’t have any luck when picking men, and was too terrified to stay alone, so she jumped from one unsatisfying relationship into another. It’s not like Becky’s guys were mean or violent, they just weren’t ready for anything more than fun. At the same time, Becky was quite desperate for someone to keep her company, and her clinginess would soon drive them off. Sad. Andrea, on the other hand, was willing to meet people, too, but was, maybe, too rational all the time. Two meetings, three at most – and if things didn’t seem to work out, Andrea wouldn’t waste her, nor the guy’s time any more. 

Usually, when someone talks to her, Andrea listens intently. But, at this coffee break, she allowed herself to drift off. The possibility of seeing – and meeting – Marko was the only thing on her mind. To enter the party, she would probably need an invitation, but her circle of friends would easily take care of that. She’ll deal with it later. Right now, there was just one question burning inside her mind. What’s a girl to wear?


	14. Who's the fairest of them all?

The investigation on Andrea’s whereabouts was going nowhere, because Jaska had his plate full as for the more important things. Marko would’ve done it personally if he had more time. He often thought of her. As he was looking at his party mask on the table, he thought of the last time he wore the mask, albeit a different kind of a mask. 

The doorbell rang. It must have been Olli and Jaska. He opened the door.

What a fuck…? – from Jaska’s lips was instantly followed by Olli’s ‘For fuck’s sake, didn’t I tell you to tone down this year?’. 

Their host ushered them to the living room, where they could get a better look at the spectacle in front of them. 

Marko was happily donning a richly-ornamented copper leather jacket, with golden-greenish scarf or shirt protruding around his neck, and black leather pants. He looked comfortable in all that, though. Also, he had a wig! A black, braided wig, falling to his shoulders. But his face… that was the most peculiar part of the whole ensemble. His left eye was encircled in a dark burgundy star of an irregular shape, the matching deep colour on his exaggerated lips. The rest of his face was exotically glittered and painted, highlighting his already dramatic facial features. He topped it with fingernail polish of the same burgundy color and flashy rings. Next to him, Olli and Jaska in their mostly black outfit and masks, with Jaska having black fur on shoulders, and Olli a furry fingerless glove, looked as if they were going at work. 

Did you go to a beauty salon? – Jaska was so amused with Marko’s facial painting and had to tease him for it. 

Yeah, he must have scared the crap out of teenage girls! – Olli chuckled. 

Marko was slightly offended and didn’t say a thing. 

No… he didn’t go to a salon. – Jaska said, as he approached Marko. He grinned – You did it yourself, didn’t you?

No!... Yes… - Marko admitted. 

It, sort of, looks very good. How did you even know what to do? 

It’s called ‘contouring’. – Marko said. – There are tutorials on YouTube. 

Olli was just rolling his eyes in distrust. – I don’t know what’s with the mask then, when you have all that make up. Marko, you keep amazing me to this day. 

Aww – Marko laughed, hugging his friends. – Look at us. False kings. When we get there, we go our separate ways, eavesdropping, gathering as much information as we can. Gentlemen, the night is young…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two or three chapters will be longer, and connected. This one had to be shorter, sorry :)


	15. You could've simply said 'please'

Andrea surprised herself with how quickly she pulled her party outfit together one evening. She had a long, black, tulle skirt with many layers, slightly shorter in front, and longer at the back. When she added a studded, sleeveless, black top with high neckline, and matching high-heel black leather boots, she was good to go. Her long, dark hair was sleek and tied in a high ponytail. She kept the overall makeup light, accentuating eyes with dark-blue and red make up. There would come time that night, she hoped, where she would take her mask off. 

The party was held at a manor house on the outskirts of Alamo. The house itself looked impressive. Andrea wondered whose house it was and who was paying for such a lavish party. As she closed the gates, she showed her invitation to the guard, who quickly let her in. She parked the car in the parking behind the gate and walked inside the manor. 

The house was huge and there were a lot of people inside, but, strangely, it wasn’t overcrowded. She didn’t expect to see any friendly faces there, and really, there was no one she knew, or at least not a single closer acquaintance. Her best choice was to keep circling around, hoping to see Marko or any of his friends. 

Forty minutes and who knows how many circles across the place later, she caught a glimpse of blond hair. That was the tough, silent friend of Marko’s. It’s just him, well, the others must be there, too. She kept walking, and saw Jaska not much further. He stood next to a bar, a glass in his hand, seeming as approachable as the last time. He’ll do just fine. 

What are you having? – She smiled at him. 

No idea – he flashed a big smile at her. – It’s blue and it’s a house special.

Right. One blue special for me, too – she said to the bartender, and turned to Jaska. 

I need someone to dance with me. Can you help a damsel in distress? 

Right now? I have to do something first…

Well, I won’t take much of your time. Now, let’s concentrate on what’s important – she said, taking her drink in one hand and leading them to the dance floor. 

***

Marko expected some big people from the company to come by now, but they weren’t there. Olli didn’t have any luck, either. It seemed only Jaska was really having fun, dancing with a girl. Marko didn’t give her a second glance. He met some people he knew, and they sat in a separate booth, watching the party from a quieter place. Olli soon joined in. At one moment Jaska came with his date, but Marko was busy talking to his company. 

He heard a glass broke when it hit the floor, and Jaska’s date giggling about it. ‘Shoo, my glass is broken. I hope my insurance covers it’ – It was probably her who was speaking, but she said it louder, so everyone could hear it. – ‘I hope I’ll be alive tomorrow to collect it’ – All of this sounded weirdly familiar to Marko, his alarms suddenly wailing inside his head. What did she say?! Marko had a feeling that everything slowed down. He turned his head to them to see them singing the chorus of the Bee Gees’ ‘Staying alive’, frolicking like two little kids. And somewhere during the singing the girl nodded at him, nodding so slightly that nobody could possibly see it, except him. 

Her mask covered the bigger part of her face, but the hair looked familiar. And there was something about her lustrous eyes…

Take off your mask - Marko said to her across the table, tilting his head. 

The lower part of the girl’s face changed, to make her look like a little girl. Corners of her lips curled downwards, as if she was ready to cry. – You could’ve simply said ‘please’- She said in a crying voice. Some of the party looked at her, fascinated with her sudden change. Everybody was having fun. Jaska was watching with a smile in the corner of his lips. 

‘You could’ve simply said please’ kept ringing in Marko’s mind. He remembered a special situation he heard that sentence. Could it be that it is… Andrea?! She’s right there, teasing him. 

Take off your mask, please – Marko said slowly, putting his hands up for a second. He remembered that as well. Let’s see how she plays it now. 

No, sir, I will not! – she wasn’t pretending to be a kid any longer, she was playing a grown woman with a taste for drama. What was she doing? – You wouldn’t hurt a poor, defenseless woman, would you? – Marko’s jaw dropped in surprise and anger. – Jaska, be my champion! You have these strong arms, – she gave Jaska a quick pet, with Jaska watching, smiling, fascinated – save me from this masked villain! - she raised her voice, pointing a finger at Marko! With these words, she giggled and literally hid behind Jaska, peaking at Marko behind Jaska’s shoulder. Someone was laughing, and all eyes were on her. She was beyond charming, irresistible was the right word. Pretty performance, indeed.

Marko couldn’t keep his eyes off her. That little trickster! She was right there, in everyone’s sight, jokingly hiding behind his friend, the one who was trying to find her. With everyone looking, and Jaska between them, there was nothing Marko could do, but watch her. She felt so in power that she didn’t even look at him. She was happily giggling with Jaska. Andrea was there, and he couldn’t speak to her. Oh, how she set this up! Marko felt his frustration rising. 

Let’s dance, Jaska! – Andrea suddenly said and pretty much pushed Jaska out to the floor. He looked at Marko, shrugging his shoulders, still blissfully happy. Andrea walked around him and pulled him by the hand to the dance floor. Marko was shocked. He’ll get to see them dance now? He finished his drink, completely unaware of it. He couldn’t not watch. What the hell was she doing?

She was much shorter than Jaska. At first Marko sniggered at the sight. Like seeing a cat dance with a bear. However, they both turned out to be skillful dancers, which made Marko even angrier. God, she couldn’t take her hands off Jaska! She was touching his beard, his shoulders, his arms. Jaska started turning slowly and she grabbed him by the butt! 

I said, do you want me to fetch you some gasoline and matches?

Hm?  


Marko looked up. Olli moved in front of him, blocking his view. – I can fetch you some gasoline and matches. You look like you want to set Jaska and his date on fire. Never really liked the poor bugger anyway. 

Marko snorted. It would be best not to say anything. His muscles relaxed a little bit but he was still tense as a bowstring. 

Seriously, you’ve been watching them for, like, five minutes. What’s going on?

Marko let out a long breath. He was trying to calm himself down. – That girl, the one all touchy-touchy with Jaska, that’s Andrea. 

Your Andrea?!

My Andrea.

Olli turned around to take a better look at her and at that moment Jaska sat to his place. He was alone. 

Where’s the girl? – Marko shouted. 

She said something about this party being boring but she’ll cherish what we had. – Jaska said slightly disappointed, but still in a good mood. 

She just fucking left?! - Marko shouted in rage, swaying his right hand and spilling half of the glasses on the table. He jumped to the floor disappearing in the crowd and running for the door.


	16. Enter

The look he gave her when she pointed a finger at him! If this was a cartoon, the steam would have come out of Marko’s ears. Andrea was dancing with Jaska, enjoying more than she had expected. However, she saw that Marko was observing them closely. Jaska was a sweetheart, but Marko was the one she came for. 

The moment that blond guy stood in front of Marko, Andrea used her chance to bid Jaska farewell and leave. She went outside, entered her car and waited. The parking was full but there was no commotion. People were inside the manor house. If she wasn’t completely wrong about Marko, he would be at the parking any moment. 

Marko instinctively ran to the parking. If she was to leave, she might be in the car already, and he was in no mood to see her slip away twice that night. After a few steps he was blinded by headlights. He froze, shading his eyes with his right hand to see what it was.

Don’t smash my windows! Don’t point fiery thingies at my head! Don’t shout at me! Alright? – A female voice said from the car. 

Marko frowned, still blinded. His anger was fading away. – Alright.

Lights went out. – Enter.

He went to the passenger door and sat inside. Their eyes met and they both smiled, shaking their heads. They left in the direction of the city centre.

Where are we going? – he asked. 

Ah, feels good when you don’t know it, right? – she replied. – Downtown. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m taking you somewhere where there’s a lot of people. 

I had it coming.

Yes, you did. – She snorted. 

Why were you flirting with Jaska? 

Andrea tilted her head and rolled her eyes. – Wow, you’re direct. 

So?

Because he seemed more relaxed than the other guy, the blond one. What’s his name? 

Olli.

Olli. – Andrea nodded. - Well, Jaska is more into disco dancing, and Olli is a slow waltz material, if you get what I mean. 

To tell the truth, Jaska definitely was more of a disco dancer, in that he was chill and relaxed most of the time, while Olli was reserved, the one that would take you for a slow waltz, which would turn out to be one thrilling experience. Marko knew both men and Andrea’s description was spot on. One part of Marko was wondering how it can be that she judged them so accurately, and the other part was wondering why she was judging them at the first place. He was unable to decide which intrigued him more. She admitted to flirting with Jaska. This one does everything for a reason, that’s how much he read her so far. She noticed his two constant companions. Obviously, she must have known Jaska is close to him. How did she know that? 

We didn’t arrive together. Why were you dancing with Jaska before he joined me at the booth? Were you spying on us? 

Andrea just gave a quick laugh. O boy, if you only knew, she thought to herself. 

So, you were, Marko thought to himself. He smiled in disbelief.


	17. Would you mind if I made it right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer :) I trully hope you'll enjoy as much as I have :)

Andrea really took them to Alamo downtown. It wasn’t even midnight yet, and the streets were crowded with people wearing Halloween costumes. The carnival was in town. As she was getting out of the car, she pulled a long dark-grey coat from the back seat. She put it on, and closed all the buttons. She caught Marko looking at her as she was buttoning, and smiled. – It’s either buttoned all the way, or open all the way, right, Marko? 

Marko seemed to have blushed a little, smiling awkwardly. - Where’s the green jacket?

It’s at home.

And where’s home? 

Andrea gave a surprised laugh. – You really like asking questions, don’t you?

And you really don’t like answering them. You like gathering pieces of information… but you don’t like sharing them, as far as I can see. 

They left the parking place behind, entering the busy, turmoiled streets full of laughter. 

The last statement made Andrea a bit angry, but she said nothing. She doesn’t like sharing pieces of information! Was she under some sort of obligation to share any information with him? Who was he to expect that of her? However, deep down, she knew he was right. She really didn’t like sharing information. He was an observing type. 

Marko saw she looked away. It was hard to say with the mask, but she seemed ill-tempered. He pulled the right strings. How do you like it now, little girl? Corner of his lips twisted into a little grin, completely missed by Andrea. 

Oh, c’mon… Don’t be mad. We’re not on even ground. You know much more about me than I know about you. Is that fair? 

He really got to her with that ‘Is that fair’. She made some sort of grimace but still kept silent. 

You know about my… - they were mingling through the crowd so he lowered his voice and whispered one word into her ear – aliases – she startled when she felt the warmth of his breath on her ear - and you probably know a lot about me, and I don’t even know where you live, who you live with or what you do in life. For example, I live quite near. 

She gave a quick, smug laugh, but no words.

Marko gave a quick laugh, too, and stood in front of her to stop her moving. He looked her in the eye. 

See? I just said I lived near, and you gave that laugh. Cause you already knew where I lived. And your laughs often mean ‘yes’. Am I right? – He said, not breaking the eye contact. 

Stubbornly looking back, Andrea seemed a little taken aback, but she pulled together quickly. – Yes. You are right. I know where you live, Marko Saaresto… and other guys – she winked at him, grinning. 

Ok… - Marko was shocked by such a blatant confession, but he decided to make the most of it. She could hammer nails with that gaze. Lovely eyes. – Were you spying on me and my friends?

Yes, I was. They come to you before 7 p.m, and usually stay an hour, hour and a half. You never see them out. 

How did you make your assumptions on their personality treats? You can’t see that from afar. Olli didn’t seem to recognize you, but you had an insight on his character. How did you make your assumptions?

I watched them… and I spoke to them. – She burst out into laughter, as if remembering a funny event. Marko joined in with laughing. 

You spoke to them?! Do tell me how that went. 

I was in front of your building, pretending to be a lost tourist. I was waiting for them, because I didn’t know if they were your friends or somebody else’s. I asked for help. Jaska immediately started chatting, and gave me his name. The blond guy, Olli, just said goodbye, he wasn’t playing along. 

Marko was truly amused, and still smiling. – I gotta remove the mask, I laughed so hard I started crying – and he took it off. Andrea instinctively followed, removing her mask. It felt really good to see Andrea’s face again. He saw her surprise when he took off the mask.

Wow! You don’t need any mask with that paint on! – She watched parts of his face for a few moments, trailing her gaze around the burgundy star on his left eye, down his cheek, over his dark-red lips. Marko had a weird sensation of prickling where she was looking, almost as if she was touching him. It made him uneasy, as if she was inspecting him on a level deeper than the skin. She wasn’t smiling any longer, her face serious. She raised her brows. 

Marko, that looks really good. Whoever did it, kudos to them. It really, it really suits you. 

He actually took the mask off to ask her why she did all that stalking, counting on the fact that she would suddenly feel more exposed without the mask, and continue to give him an honest explanation on the reasons which may be difficult to explain. In a strange twist, he was the one who ended more exposed. 

She genuinely loved the make-up mask, and Marko didn’t rush to say he did it. And she was still inspecting his brow, his nose and the wig. Marko was starting to feel uncomfortable. 

Do you want some popcorn? – he said out of nowhere. 

Alright. – He saw she didn’t expect that, but she was ok with it. Such an interesting girl, this Andrea. 

Not far away there were stalls with different snacks. They stood in a line of merry, masked people.

How can I help you? – said the smiling vendor.

A big pack and a … – Marko turned to Andrea.

Two big ones, please! – Andrea finished the sentence. Marko raised his brows. – What? I’m hungry. I might eat some of yours! 

They were back in the never-ending flow of people on the streets. 

Can we sit somewhere? I’m wearing heels, and I’m a bit tired – Andrea said. 

Sure. There’s a park over there, which you probably already know – Marko gave her a conspiracy wink. Andrea gave him an open grin. 

The park was quieter than the streets. Still there were many people slowly walking, eating, enjoying a clear starry night for Halloween. They chose one of the more secluded benches, without a back rest. A tree was behind it. Marko was sitting astride the bench, telling how he almost choked to death with popcorn when he was a kid, because he tried to see how many popcorn he could fit into his mouth. Andrea loved it when he was so relaxed and sweet. He was making funny faces, gesturing a lot, he was worth looking at. Marko finished his popcorn long ago, while Andrea was struggling near the end. Guess she wasn’t that hungry. She once again reminded him of a small animal, happily eating her food. She was relaxed. He can drop the big question now. 

But, seriously, why did you do it? 

Andrea’s face went stone cold in a second. – Oh, god, here you go again with questions! Why did I do what? 

Why did you go through all that elaborate scheme to find out things about me? – Her tension found its way to him, as well. He was planning on asking her that a long time ago, hoping for a certain direct answer. He was burning from desire to hear that she found him so special because she liked him. Anything reminding of that would be like healing rain. But he couldn’t lead her to that answer. She had to give it herself. 

I went though all that stalking and plotting because… - She was clearly struggling with words, grasping her popcorn pack stronger that she should have. Her words weren’t normally connected, she paused. – O Marko, why are you doing this? – and she turned to look at him.

I’m sorry. But I really need to know. – He was feeling bad for her, but he needed to hear some explanation. 

Give me a break here! I already confessed to stalking to you, do I have to spell it out? 

No, she doesn’t. Not with that guilty and ashamed look on her gorgeous face. He leaned in towards her, resting his left hand on the tree behind her, and his right hand on the bench, close to her knees. Their faces were so close, neither of them pulling back. Andrea felt almost encircled between the tree and his hands. She kept staring at his eyes, the eyes of a predator, coming close for a kill… or something else. 

That text you sent me? – He whispered, looking at her lips for a second, and returning his gaze to her eyes. 

Yeah, what about it? – She whispered, too, mesmerized by his closeness. 

Do you remember the last line? Would you mind if I made it right? – He was looking at her questioningly, like a gunman, waiting for his permission. 

Andrea’s eyes widened slightly, and she stopped breathing. – Make it right.

He lowered his head, caressing her lips with his, gently and tenderly as if he was kissing the feathers of a humming bird in flight.


	18. On the past and the future... and some preferences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sort of spoiler alert is down there, if you want to be alerted... If not, don't look down and read on ;)

Exploring an uncharted territory was probably the guiding line in both of their minds. Without stopping the kissing, Andrea raised her left hand to feel his temple, cheek, ear, to tug at his wig braids, with the hand finally settling under Marko’s green scarf, on his bare neck. With all that make-up and costume, it thrilled her to touch his bare skin, the part which was hidden from the eyes of others. Her right hand was more daring; Marko’s shoulder, and then under the jacket over the chest, slowly down his ribs and onto the border between his shirt and trousers. 

Andrea’s exploration of his body did not go unnoticed by Marko. He was becoming aroused. As he was kissing her, cupping her face with the left hand and playing with her ear and hair with the right one, he had flashes of images of what he would like to do to her right now. The first image was having Andrea on his bed, stark naked, lying on her back, with her hands tied above her head. The light is full on so he could see every curve and crevice of her body. She tries to break free, but with no result. He’s lying there, his head between her legs, his arms holding her thighs and hips. He’s licking her private parts against her will. The second image went further. They are in his living room. They both have their clothes on, but he’s pinning her to a wall, her face against the wall, putting her skirt up to have his way with her. His right arm is over her arms, and his hand is over her mouth. She’s biting him on the inside of his palm, and drops of his blood are staining her black top. 

During these flashes of images Marko’s hands trailed down Andrea’s shoulders and spine, finding their rest on her waist. Marko thought it best to break the kiss at that point. Neither moved their hands. He moved his head just slightly back, looked at her eyes and smiled. She smiled back.

Do I have some of your lipstick on? Because, your lips are smeared.

No! I should’ve known better! My mamma told me not to kiss girls when I have my lipstick on! 

Andrea burst out laughing and Marko smiled, too. 

You have some – he reached with his thumb to rub the traces out. Even that feels great, Andrea thought to herself. 

You might need this – Andrea handed Marko a small mirror from her bag, and he fixed some of the red smears. 

Well, it goes off when I get home. – Marko paused a little, looking at her while he was giving her back her mirror. – Any chance of you joining me at my place for a nightcap? 

Andrea was taken aback by this suggestion. It’s not like the thought didn’t cross her mind, but it was different when he really said it. He was sweet, sure, but she didn’t really know him, and she didn’t trust him that much. Nope. 

You raised your brow and your smile is there no longer. I guess it’s a no. 

It’s a no. – Her hands went to her lap. He rested his hands on the bench. – I don’t know you well enough, and I need to know someone before sharing more than a kiss. 

Marko played it jokingly. – Ok, but this is already our second date…

No, it isn’t! – She exclaimed in laughter. – The first time we met, I didn’t know we would meet. Now, the second time we met, you didn’t know we would meet. We didn’t have the first date yet! 

Will there be a first date? – Andrea wasn’t looking at him, but could feel the eagerness and the changed tone of his voice. There was something about his voice that she really liked. 

There’s going to be the first date. In fact, how about Tuesday night? Work day, casually, relaxed. And you might just walk me home. 

She would show him where she lives? Marko was quite surprised and happy that she was taking the initial steps. – You don’t want to wait for the weekend?

Andrea gave him a side look which made him feel tingling. – Boy, I might change my mind till the weekend. Take it or leave it. What’s it gonna be? 

Tuesday!

Ok. Good boy. Now it’s time for me to drive you back to our friends, Jaska and Olli. They may be worried I’m about to do some bad things to you. – She winked at him with such a devilish smile that Marko just gasped, lost for words. She’s arranging the date, calling him a good boy and calling his friends their friends, plus she’s expressing the potential to do bad things to him, Marko’s mind racing about what bad things they could be! Damn! 

She got up and saw him still sitting. She took him by his right hand to lift him up, but he was grinning and refusing to get up. His hand was strong and warm, that handshake-like position felt like another caress. Why not mark Marko as hers, symbolically, she thought to herself, grinning? Andrea’s fingers quickly curled in, her short fingernails scratching the inside of his palm. 

Ouch! – Marko shrieked in surprise, letting go of her hand.

It wasn’t that bad. Now get up! 

They went for the car. Andrea loved playing these little games with Marko. Marko loved Andrea playing these little games with him. 

You might have some sort of torture room in your apartment, for all I know. 

What? – He said ‘What’, but he actually thought he always wanted to have such a room. Unfortunately, you can’t have that in a building, and he didn’t own a house. He would be more than thrilled to show her the inside of the room if he had it. It was so strange she mentioned something like that. Could it be she fantasized about such a room, too? Would she… like to be… invited… hypothetically speaking?

You know, somewhere you take young women you seduce, to do to them whatever they wouldn’t let you do to them. 

Marko’s brows just raised, and he gave a smirk. 

Or young men? – Her eyes shrank, observing him sideways. 

Oh, is that what you think? – He didn’t know how to respond to this one. 

Or maybe just your friends? Your Finnish friends visit you awfully often. And I see why you can find them attractive; they are both easy on the eye.

Marko stopped walking, he just stood there, his mouth open. He scratched his head. Andrea blocked his way, grinning at him in a victory. Her grin was so provoking and yet so open that he had to grin himself. 

So, basically, you see me as a devious, bisexual sadist? 

Andrea gave him the sweetest angelic smile. - I would say you are a man of strong passions and various interests, with a lotta love to spread around. 

Yeah, yours does sound better – He gave in in a faux surrender, raising his hands jokingly. When he looked her in the eyes, he was met by a look which couldn’t be deciphered. It wasn’t the first time he felt something dark and disquieting in her. He saw it that night in the front mirror, too. That time, as well, she was trying to look super innocent but simply couldn’t pull it off. Andrea turned on her heel, flawlessly, as if performing in a theatre. He followed, looking at her back and wondering what was going on inside her head. 

Already at the car, he entered it silently. He noticed that the night was as starry as it was the first time they met. And there was still one question that was clawing its way inside his mind. - You know, the last time you scratched me, it left markings on my skin for a couple of days. 

Andrea smirked – Pity I couldn’t see them. 

And there’s something I have to ask. Do you remember what happened later? 

Oh, I remember everything. What interests you? 

Marko was weirdly glad she remembered everything, because he remembered everything, too. Of course, this was no moment to share that thought. - You pulled my mask off, I reached for the gun in the back, and you called me the ‘ugly motherfucker’. Did you mean that? 

Andrea started laughing so hard that for a second, she lost control of the car and Marko thought she was doing some funny things with the car once again. - O sweetheart, has this been bothering you the whole time? 

Marko was confused. It was better not to say anything, and let her do the talking. He was a little embarrassed, too. 

Let me ask you something first. Were you planning on using the gun at that moment? 

No. 

Well, how was I supposed to know that? – Even though I figured out you probably won’t do it, she said to herself. – I couldn’t have known that. It was a risk I had to take. 

Ok, but why did you call me ‘ugly motherfucker’? – Marko found it somehow difficult to say the following. – You had just seen me for a few moments. Did you really think I was that bad looking? 

Andrea had a weird feeling that he was actually insecure about his looks. For what reasons, she couldn’t tell. She found him attractive the moment she laid her eyes on him, she took all those pictures of him, but how can she tell him that? He’ll think she’s crazy and head over heels for him. - Nah… I thought you were super cute in a maniacal, kidnaper sort of way. 

The small smile that appeared on his lips made her feel sorry for him. Why would he feel insecure? With those striking facial features… Andrea actually avoided looking at him as much as she wanted to, because she didn’t want him to know how much she liked him physically. 

The manor house gate appeared in front of them. Like earlier that evening, Andrea showed her invitation to the guard and drove inside. The car came to a slow stop. A few silent, motionless moments passed by. 

I never had the chance to say thank you. Thank you, Andrea. – he turned to her, giving her a serious look. 

For what?

For not leaving me. You had a million opportunities to leave me, anytime after we had dinner and before my guys arrived. I know that a lot of people would’ve used it to throw me out of the car and go their way. 

Any time, Marko. – She tried to lighten the mood. – So, see you on Tuesday? At nine o’clock? Where we first met?  
Marko grinned, ashamed. – On that parking? 

Yes, on that parking. 

He rolled his eyes. – Ok. – He went in for the next kiss, seeing Andrea anticipating it. This kiss was quicker and lighter than the first one, and it also felt uplifting. He unbuckled and exited the car. 

And Marko?

Yes? 

No need for make-up this time. 

He winked at her. She drove off. He stood there a while, and entered the manor, looking for his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A graphic image of sexual violence appears in Marko's mind early in the chapter.


	19. False alarm

Marko and Jaska spent the whole morning talking to locals living where the new section of the motorway leading to Alamo should be passing. Most people didn’t like the idea of the motorway going through their family farms and fields, and they were trying to change the mind of those people who saw it as a welcoming opportunity to cash some money. The red Buick was slowly disappearing on the horizon of a local road. The men in it did not know they were being watched. 

They were here again. – One of the locals said on his cellular. He didn’t know who exactly he was talking to, but he knew that the man was important. And the man always had some instructions for him. 

Ok. Keep me informed. – the cold voice said briefly, hanging up. The man was tapping his fingers on the desk in his private office. Saaresto and Mäkinen are both stubborn, but Saaresto is the man behind it. That phony accidental shooting a few weeks ago and the attempt of poisoning were futile. Saaresto didn’t recognize it as a warning, didn’t stop. Well, there’s always the next step. He knows one of his fears. It will be a pleasure to see Marko scared to death. Marko… it’s been a while since he last called him by the first name. The man gave a dry smile. Funny how things change over time. 

*******

One of the biggest new buildings in the Alamo downtown belonged to the Overboard headquarters. As an IT technician, Marko’s job was to maintain servers located in the basement. He showed his ID to the guard at the entrance. They nodded to each other. In a company so big, malfunctions were regular, and he was one of the guys they called to fix things. It meant flexible working hours, with a lot of free time, and an occasional call for help late in the evening or even after midnight. Marko was fine with that, because the pay was ok. Right now, he was called because server 2 was acting funny. Marko knew it would act funny that afternoon, because he made sure the last time he was there that it starts acting funny on Monday, at 1:32 p.m. 

This was just smoke and mirrors, a diversion, because he wanted to access and download the preliminary contract between the City and Overboard. Who knows what other interesting people might have put their signatures there? Such information can be worth a lot in the construction building underground market. 

He took out his laptop from the bag and connected it to the server. After running some initial diagnostics, he tapped into one of the main computers archive to look for the contract. Not much later, it was safely and discreetly downloaded. He ‘fixed’ the server and double-checked for leaving any digital trails behind him. Nope. All was good. 

On his way out of the building he winked to the guard. 

Another false alarm? – the guard asked.

Better safe than sorry, Vince – Marko smiled and walked out. 

******  
Sir, there’s been some leaking… from server 2 – a young technician called his boss. He has seen Marko many times in hallways and didn’t think much of it, but had to report it anyway. His boss went to speak to his boss, who immediately called the CEO. The CEO seemed unusually alarmed when he stayed alone and called the Mayor ten minutes later. The Mayor than called a local rising star in politics whose body of voters consisted primarily of poor people who wanted to cash in the barren land they owned. 

Was it a new technician? – he wanted to know. 

I don’t know – the Mayor said. – I don’t think so. Overboard has had the same crew for a couple of years. They have very strong criteria when choosing their staff. 

The rising star calmed the Mayor down, saying it was probably nothing, and they shouldn’t create a fuss just a few months before the local elections. However, the star called the Overboard CEO asking the same question. He knew it was Saaresto even before the got that answer from the CEO. He calmed him, too. But the politician was far from calm. Twice in one day? Working too much, Saaresto?


	20. Important enough to change

Olli and Jaska left Marko’s place earlier on Tuesday evening, because Marko told them he had some plans for the evening. When Jaska asked if the plans had anything to do with ‘their’ date from Saturday, Marko just went quiet.  
Jaska! – Olli said in a reproachful manner. – I’m glad you found someone you like. Just take it easy, ok?  
Marko was getting more and more nervous about seeing Andrea as the evening went on. Unable to wait any longer, he headed for the parking before he really needed to. This would be the first time he knew he would see her. This would be their first date. He needed to make up for the bad first impression he made. But, if he starts sharing more about himself, will she stick around long enough to hear more? Would he stick around in her place? 

***** 

Andrea had her doubts about Marko’s life choices, but wanted to see him nevertheless. It’s not like one date can have a big impact on the future?  
She was nearing the parking a few minutes before nine. It was already dark; darker than the evening he kidnapped her. There were more cars and more people than that evening, too.  
She saw him close to the place, now taken, where she parked back then. He remembers the exact parking lot, she smiled and shook her head. 

***** 

Marko saw Andrea coming and instantly froze. Wearing a long, dark coat, with that glossy long hair flowing freely around her face and below her shoulders, she reminded him of a fallen angel, coming to pierce his guard and take his soul off to some dark place. Then he saw her smile and instantly felt better, smiling back at her before he even realised it.  
Was this the place…? – She started.  
Yeah… - He said, blushing. – I let you pass me…  
And you didn’t help me with the bags? – She said mock-shocked.  
No… I really feel bad for the whole thing.  
Hm. Well. No kidnapping tonight!  
No kidnapping tonight! – He was happy to agree.  
However, you ate a lot of my food. I demand some recompensating.  
Marko raised his eyebrows. – I don’t mean to sound petty, but you took some money from me… I believe it, sort of, covered the expense of the food I ate…  
Oh, my God! I didn’t give you your … fiery thing back! – Andrea exclaimed. She was about to give him the gun on Saturday, but she forgot about it.  
Yeah… that, too. – Marko smiled. – I guess we’re even, then?  
Hm, we are. But I’m hungry. Let’s go to an Italian restaurant!  
Why do I have the feeling you spend a lot of time eating? – There she was, talking about food again.  
Andrea gave him her most innocent look, a failed innocent look, again – I don’t know, why? 

*****

He’s with a girl. – a voice on the cellular said.  
Hold still. When they part, take him. Everything’s ready. – Marko needed to be taught a lesson. 

*****

There was a great Italian restaurant a block away. But there was something else Andrea wanted to show Marko first.  
I know I said I wanted to eat, but that can wait. Let’s sit here first, ok? – She said as they neared a little café around the corner from the parking.  
Fine by me.  
For whatever reason, she wanted to sit at a window table. Marko just followed her, sure she had a reason for it. The grin never left her face, that smug, confident, and endlessly charming grin. They sat down. She ordered a cappuccino, Marko wasn’t sure which one she took, cause they all look the same to him, and he ordered a beer.  
I guess you have a reason for bringing me here. – He said. She was arranging her coat on a chair behind her back. She looked stunning in a tight maroon sweater, almost the same shade as his make-up two days ago.  
I do. Look outside. What do you see?  
My building. Oh. Oh! – He understood everything, genuinely surprised. That was her vintage point. The point from which she observed him. He looked back at her with open interest. Backlit, her eyes looked dark in the shadows, but she flashed a bright smile at him. Her clashes of colours, black for the hair, white for the skin, deep red for the sweater, made her seem like a character from a comic book. 

She gave him a summary of how two guys caught her attention and how she learnt who they were. He was leaning forward in his chair, not taking eyes of her as she was happily explaining all the little details of her stalking to her prey. This was probably the most honoured he has felt in his entire life, to have a creature like her plotting to get to know more about him. As she was talking, she casually moved all her hair to her right shoulder, leaving the left side of the neck bare. The sweater had a round opening, not deep, but deep enough for her collar bones to be seen. The disbalance between the covered and uncovered part of the neck was starting to get to him. He kept looking at the bare skin of her neck, noticing little silver earring, irregularly shaped, like a pointy tear, but his eyes were returning to her bare skin, and he started wondering if her shoulders, arms and other parts of the body had that same light shade of skin. He wanted to touch her neck, kiss her on the neck and see what happens from there, but they were in a café, with too many people around. 

Marko? – He startled when he heard his name. She was staring at him with those gorgeous eyes. She took another sip of cappuccino.  
I notice your shirt is only half-buttoned – she winked.  
You are one observant little girl! – he said – I have that thing, where everything needs to be balanced, left-right and so on. But, as you see, I’m trying to change it.  
Marko was in a flannel checkered black-and-white shirt, with a white T-shirt under. He buttoned the lower half, leaving the upper half unbuttoned. He wanted to correct it back at his place, and when he was waiting for Andrea, but managed to leave it as it was.  
Mmmm, I’d say that’s my influence. Marko, I’m tempering with your habits! – She grinned.  
To Marko, it suddenly sounded quite possible. How come he didn’t notice it himself? He liked her, obviously, but was she really that important to him, important enough to change for her? He took another sip of his beer. 

He helped her put on her coat as they were leaving. It wasn’t much, but it gave him a pretext to feel her a little. When she pulled her hair out of the coat collar, some of her dark hair spilt over his hands. He wondered how it would feel on his bare arms and chest, if he held her close. He put on his heavy jacket and they went out.  
It was already quite cold outside. With not many people on the streets, it looked somehow weird. Marko had a feeling that something was off, but couldn’t pinpoint it. It was probably nothing. Andrea was just saying how she loved pizza when she suddenly screamed. He turned around, but something was being pulled down over his face, he felt punches and being lifted off the ground. In a matter of seconds he felt pain all over his body. Judging by the sounds, he and Andrea were being thrown inside a vehicle and taken who knows where.  
Andrea?! This is about me! Do whatever they tell you! It’s me they want! Do whatever…  
Shut up! – Marko heard, followed by a heavy blow to his head.


	21. At the bottom

A sharp pain pulsating in his head, Marko opened his eyes in a well-lit and maintained closed swimming pool. He was sitting on a plastic chair, with arms tied to the arm rests and legs tied to the chair’s legs. Three man in dark clothes and ski masks stood around him, one of them recording it, while the fourth was holding Andrea a few steps away. What was this about? And what do they plan to do with Andrea and him? He had no time to think.  
He’s conscious. - Someone said and punched him in stomach. Andrea screamed and Marko winced in pain.  
What shall we do with her? - Someone asked. Andrea, Marko thought not looking at her, do whatever they tell you to.  
She can make him swim! - They all laughed. Marko went cold.  
No. No! - he first mumbled, than shouted, unable to control himself. Not the water while his hands are tied! No! He started twitching more vigorously, but couldn’t break free. Two man turned him back against the pool, moving him to the very edge. The water on that end of the pool wasn’t deep, but it was ominously deep if you are stuck at the bottom.  
Andrea was being pushed by her guard to stand in front of him. He saw terror in her eyes, and her face was all wet and red.  
No! - He cried out. - Please, Andrea! Don’t!  
The guard shook her violently, keeping her hands on her back. She looked at Marko and pushed his chair with her right leg over the edge.  
Sounds became muffled and water started filling Marko’s nose and mouth, throat, lungs as we was sinking. He knew he should hold his breath, but he didnt’t take an inhale while he was still up there. He winced and screamed in agony. Why didn’t he inhale?! Was that it?! Was he going to die?! Was that it?!

***** 

What are you doing?! Get him out! - Andrea screamed, even though her guard kept shouting at her and squeezing her forearms.  
After what seemed like an eternity, two men jumped inside and carried Marko out. The chair broke from the force of impact, and they laid him on the cold tiles, his arms and legs free for the moment. He coughed and started twitching on his back, staring emptily at the ceiling. There was something so disturbingly familiar about it… Oh, God, Andrea thought. The gif she sent him about his strange bodily moves under the tree, back when he was burning out with fever. There could be no mistake. Back then, he was remembering another drowning. A prior drowning. Andrea wanted to cry in anguish. Marko has experienced drowning before. It was obviously so terrifying that it stayed with him. Now he was re-living it. And not only that she can’t help him, she was actually the one who pushed him in the water! He will never forgive her that. The burden of guilt lay immensely on her. She can never make it right. Hot streams of tears poured down her face.  
When he comes back, do it again! - Her guard shouted in her ear.  
Again?! Was one drowning not enough?!  
No! No! I won’t! - She screamed at the top of her lungs.  
Shut up! - Her guard shouted and punched her in ribs. Andrea would have contorted her whole body, but he held her up.  
Marko was regaining some of his consciousness, rolling over to his side. The two men grabbed him again, tying his hands behind his back. He glanced at Andrea, who seemed in a lot of pain. What have they done to her? As they rolled him on the back and to the edge, that guard approached again, forcing Andrea in front of him. This time she kicked and screamed, swaying her legs so she couldn’t push Marko with them. They were about to drown him again? No! He was trying to move away from the edge.  
Suddenly, loud wailing of police sirens filled the air. There was a commotion and gunshots blasted in the closed space. The four thugs ran away. Marko partially leaned on one arm and elbow trying to sit up and Andrea ran to him and knelt next to him.  
Marko! Are you alright?  
He didn’t say a word, looking away. Andrea was too confused to understand the meaning of it. - Marko! Jaska’s here! Jaska! - She shouted, waving Jaska to hurry up. Jaska was followed by three men wearing ragged clothes.  
Jaska came running, with some relief on his face. He quickly lowered down and helped Marko stand up. Andrea stood up, too.  
Andrea! How are you feeling, are you hurt, are you injured? - Jaska asked, sincerely worried.  
No, I’m fine, but they almost drowned Marko! - She said, starting to cry. - Where’s police?  
No police. I have a siren in my car. One of my homeless guys from the shelter saw the kidnapping, and recognised Marko was my friend. He called me, by the time I came two of his friends were waiting with him, insisting to come as a back-up. Olli’s on the way…  
I’m here! - Olli pushed through Jaska’s homeless men. - You both need to come to my place, I need to check you for injuries and give you something to calm you down.  
Olli, take Andrea to her home, and see if she’s hurt. Jaska, you take me to Olli’s place. - These were the first words Marko spoke, which confused everyone.  
I have my bag here, but it would be better If she came to my practice, too – Olli objected. - Do you have anyone to call for company now? - he asked Andrea.  
I’ll manage. - she quietly responded, painfully aware that Marko doesn’t want her anywhere near him. 

***** 

Twenty minutes later, Olli entered Andrea’s apartment.  
Are we going to wake anyone?  
No, I live alone. Would you like a drink? - she asked, as they made their way to the living room.  
Andrea, I know this must feel awkward, but I really just want to help you. Do you think anything’s bruised or broken? You must have bruises.  
I’m fine, Olli.  
You can’t be fine… - He was frowning. He reached out for his bag and took out a small case of pills. - Drink two right now. I want to see you take them.  
She rolled her eyes, but did it.  
I suggest you call in sick tomorrow morning. I’ll come by at around ten a.m. with a female nurse. She’s very discreet… Is it ok if I come round tomorrow with a female nurse? She will check you for bruises. - He raised his brows waiting for an answer.  
It’s ok, Olli. Thank you. - She saw him relaxing a little. - Olli?  
Yes?  
Why won’t Marko speak to me?  
Olli looked at her, not knowing where to start. How does one explain Marko’s mood changes in a couple of words?  
See you around ten, Andrea. Nobody is after you, they were after Marko. You’re safe now. Try to get some sleep.  
Andrea closed the door behind him. She knew there would be no sleeping that night.


	22. Always alone? Always afraid?

Olli found Marko sitting shirtless on one of the beds, drinking some brandy from a bottle kept in a different room. Half of the content was gone. Olli looked at Jaska, but Jaska just shrugged his shoulders. A perfect storm was on the horizon. Marko had a couple of bad bruises, and some swellings already forming. Luckily, nothing was broken. - What’s inside your palm? - Olli said when he noticed a couple of small scars.  
Nothing – grunted Marko, pulling his palm from Olli. It was from Andrea scratching him after the Halloween party, but he kept it to himself. He took a couple of sips from the bottle.  


Drop your pants, I need to see the legs.  
Ooh… you just give commands, you never say ‘please’. You never ‘please’ me - Marko seemed to have great fun with his little joke, but joke fell flat to his audience. Olli gave him a weird look, but stayed silent. Marko dropped the pants, and lay down on his side.  


Why did you ignore Andrea when we came? You guys just went on a date. She’s there all alone, hurt, scared.  
The moment Olli mentioned Andrea Marko sat up, despite the pain spreading across his back. - Well, aren’t you a good doctor? - Marko’s eyes narrowed as he tilted his head to look at Olli.  
Really, you have us here, and she’s there all alone. After what you guys have been through, I expected you would invite her over – Olli said reproachfully.  
Go back and comfort her then! - Marko suddenly yelled. - Maybe the good doctor would like to pin her against the wall and show her slow waltz moves!  
Olli exhaled sharply in surprise, angry. - Where is this coming from? I have no idea what you’re talking about! I don’t need this! Jaska, can you talk some sense into him?  
Jaska opened his mouth to say something, but Marko was quicker. - No, Jaska, don’t talk any sense in me. Be a good boy and do some disco dancing down on me. I want your beard to tickle my private parts – the proposal was followed with a raised brow and a seductive, half-smiling lick of lips. Jaska punched him on the cheek. As Marko held his cheek, Olli turned to Jaska:  
Thanks, Jaska. Now I have to deal with his cheek, too.  
Jaska just raised his hands. - I don’t need this shit, either. I hate him when he drinks.  


And how about what I need?! - Marko yelled.  
We don’t know, Marko. What do you need? - Olli’s hands went up in a give-up gesture.  
I need another bottle… and someone to jump up and down my dick. I can make a call. Unless, one of you guys will volunteer? Take one for the team? - He started laughing at his own words. Jaska and Olli looked at each other, disgusted.  
Ok, I’m done here. You can wallow in self-pitty and bitterness as much as you like, but I don’t have to be here to watch it and listen to it. - Olli said, clearing his things away.  
A little bird told me women find you both guys attractive! - Marko ranted happily.  


Olli turned to Jaska. - Jaska, you can stay at my place, or go home. I’ll check him around eight in the morning.  
I’ll go. - Jaska replied, with a dry smile. Olli understood completely.  
Don’t walk away, Jaska! I still want you to lick me and tickle me!…

***** 

Another flashback followed, cruel in its essence, connecting the kidnap night and this night.  


There was a moment after Andrea drove them off the road, while Marko was calming her down. He suggested they should take a break, eat, and then drive on. His suggestion was ended with a ‘please’. She remembered it caused her to daydream about having him tied up somewhere, saying ‘please’.  


What a bitter twist of faith! There it was, the essence of her daydream came true a couple of hours ago. Technically, she just had him tied up to a chair, saying that word to her in that melodious, seductive voice of his. But it was nothing like she hoped it would be and it felt nothing like it should’ve felt. It’s so strange when you get what you wanted, but you miss out emphasizing important details and everything goes horribly wrong.

***** 

The room was unbearably quiet. Marko was finishing his second bottle. Why did Olli leave? Why did Jaska leave? Did they not know that he almost drowned again? Do they not understand the endless horror consuming him inside, spreading like pitch-black wildfire, stony and jagged, rough around the edges, crushing and butchering him from within?  


He made bad jokes again. He made them go away again, and they are always so good to him. He always makes people go away. He made Andrea go away. She’s better off that way. But what is better for him? Will he always be alone? Will he always be afraid?

***** 

Didn’t I say to wait until he’s alone?! Who the fuck told you to grab both of them?! - Markus was out of his mind. These idiots fucked up an easy job. - We’ll talk tomorrow! - He shouted and ended the phone conversation.  


Taking two instead of one, the arrival of police… It actually ended surprisingly well, given the circumstances. None of his men were arrested, no traces leading to him. And there was that great video, which he kept replaying, pausing every time Marko was up close.  


His favourite scene was the look on Marko’s face when he begs that girl not to push him in water. The fear on Marko’s face was priceless. He was the mastermind behind Marko’s fear of drowning, and he took great pleasure and pride in seeing that Marko was still scarred by that fear.  


And the girl… What was she doing with Marko? What was she to him? He paused on her scenes. There’s something going on between them, that’s for sure. They’re either lovers or about to become lovers. Markus saw that Marko liked her. Markus never forgot Marko’s preferences in women. He grinned. Awww, Marko’s got a crush… Oh, Markus will track that girl down. If she’s important to Marko, she’s important to him, too. This is going to be so exciting.


	23. What Olli remembers

Andrea called in sick that day. She struggled with sleep, falling asleep just before the dawn. Even then, she was too agitated to sleep for more than an hour. A mug of hot cocoa was getting cold on the coffee table while Andrea was reading a magazine absent-mindedly.  


Olli came at ten, as promissed, bringing a young female nurse with him. He apologised for intrusion of her home and privacy, waiting in the living room while the nurse was giving Andrea a check-up in her bedroom. There were dark marks where her kidnapper was squeezing her arms, and a bruise across her ribs. They went back to the living room where the nurse told Olli about the injuries and he took out two little packages, explaining her what they are for and how to apply them. They were to be applied on the skin, for bruises. They were about to leave when Andrea asked Olli if he can stay a bit longer, because she needs to ask him something. He told the nurse to wait for him in the car. 

How’s Marko?  


He’s been better, but he’ll be fine. It’s not the first time something like this has happened to him.  


Andrea noticed that Olli looked tired and worried. He must have been tired from trying to patch up Marko. Olli was holding back something.  


Is he still mad at me? 

Ollie rolled his eyes and let out a sigh before he answered. - Marko is… not like any other person I’ve met. He’s a puzzle. At times, it is impossible to know what’s going on inside his head. 

Did he say anything? 

Olli rolled his eyes again, this time with some anger. - He said a lot of things, but not about you. He’s suffered a trauma, and he’s in a dark, dark place right now. Unfortunately, he’s decided to heal – or punish - himself with alcohol. He’s not normally a drinker, and he becomes insupportable when he drinks. Intolerable. Unbearable. Obnoxious. For all I know him, he’s not mad at you. He’s mad at himself for putting you in such a situation. A logical mind would come to conclusion that it wasn’t his fault and he didn’t mean to do it. However, he’s not thinking logically right now. 

You don’t know everything… - Andrea told Olli in detail what happened at the pool last night. - I was the one who pushed him in water, Olli. He’ll never forgive me for doing that. 

Olli was deeply saddened by the account. - As I said, I don’t think he’s mad at you. He’s mad at himself. He’s punishing himself. And he can think of wicked ways of being cruel to himself, when he feels he deserves it. 

Andrea felt grateful that Olli was so open and honest about everything. - Thanks for telling me all that. I noticed that you and Jaska are very close to Marko. You said this was not the first time something like this has happened to him. How do you, guys, live like that? 

Olli looked away. She noticed tension in his light blue eyes, and the way his jaw was clenched. - It’s not like any of us planned it. It’s not like Marko planned on becoming – Olli obviously hated what he had to say – a criminal. Marko and I’ve known each other since we were kids, we grew up together. I was the first to come here, he followed. We met Jaska at college. He made some bad friend choices back at college… One thing led to another… He let greed take control over him. His family was neither rich nor poor, but he wanted more, and he found a wrong way to have more. And this is, actually, the second time someone has tried to drown him, which was, without a doubt, the worst experience of his life, so he has every reason to be out of his mind. 

Olli looked back at Andrea. Neither of them knew what more there was to be told. 

I have one more thing for you – Olli said as he gave her a little card. A therapist. - She’s a great listener. I can’t provide you with that type of assistance, and you really need it. Make an appointment. 

You’ve been a great help. Thank you. 

Olli just gave her a cute, little, quick smile, a slight movement of the corner of his lips. He was probably too drained for anything bigger than that. Still, Andrea was glad to see that tiniest of smiles. He was such a sweet, kind, caring person. Marko was lucky to have him as a friend. She would like to have him as a friend. He was a comforter, a true healer. No wonder he’s in that line of business. 

After this visit, Andrea felt a little better. She might just call that therapist. She took a sip of cocoa. It was still warm. Not as warm as it should be, but warm enough. She smiled.


	24. What Jaska remembers

The next nine days passed in a haze. Andrea seemingly continued her normal life, going back to the routine of work, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was broken inside of her. She took Olli’s advice and went to see the therapist. That new experience was completely overwhelming. Andrea thought there’s no point in asking help if you don’t provide all the details to the therapist, so she mentioned everything she could remember about meeting Marko. She didn’t specify what he did, but implied it wasn’t entirely legit. That first session was full of unexpected sobbs, but she felt slightly better on her way out. Olli did a great job recommending her that lady therapist. 

And on the tenth day, there was a surprise waiting for her. As she was approaching her building on her way from work, she saw a familiar face. Jaska. The good-looking dark-haired man was strolling in front of the entrance of her building. He couldn’t have just been there with no reason. She looked him in the eye, coming closer. He nodded his head and smiled. 

Hi, Andrea!  
Hi, Jaska!  
I was just passing by… - He said, squinting away and raising his eyebrows – and was wondering if you’d like to have a coffee, with me, that is – finishing his proposition with a sheepish smile.  
Andrea thought it was so obvious he was lying that she couldn’t resist giving him a smile. He didn’t even try to look honest. - You were just passing by?  
Yeah… - his smile turned into a wide grin.  
Sure, Jaska. Let’s have that coffee. 

Ten minutes later they were sitting in a small coffee shop, sipping their drinks. Jaska was silent and seemed a bit uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know where to begin. But then he took a deep breath, smiled and started speaking. The first thing he said was a mock question.  
Do you still cherish what we had that night at the Haloween party?  
Andrea giggled. That was not what she expected him to say. - Of course I do, Jaska. The party wasn’t anything special, but I’ll always cherish dancing with you – she finished with a bright smile.  
He seemed relieved. - I gotta say, I never would have danced with you had I known that you were Marko’s Andrea. I was later explained, but you were gone by that moment. 

Andrea didn’t properly hear anything after the phrase ‘Marko’s Andrea’. Bittersweetness overwhelmed her. Marko ignored her the last time they saw each other, at the end of that horrible, violent evening. She never knew that, for a while, she was Marko’s Andrea. Could she be Marko’s Andrea once again?  
Look, Jaska, I have to ask you a favour. Tell me something. Olli told me something about it when he came to check on me the morning after, but I need to hear it from you, as well. I don’t think we’ll spend a lot of time drinking coffee together, in the future, so… How did Marko get involved in… whatever he is involved in? You don’t have to give me the names and dates, just… help me figure him out. 

It was as if Jaska’s blue eyes went a couple of shades darker in a second. His facial tension was almost the same as the one on Olli’s face when he told her about Marko. They both were genuinely worried about him. 

Jaska met Marko and Olli when he was a sophomore at social studies. They had some mutual friends and used to hang out together. One of those friends was in Marko’s class on MIT, only a year or two older. The guy’s name was Markus. Marko seemed fascinated with Markus and they spent a lot of time together, more than he at that time spent with Jaska, or even Olli, going to the same lectures and stuff. Markus was very intelligent, well-spoken and elegant, but there was something in him… Jaska could never put his finger on it, but he sensed it. 

In the years to come, putting the pieces from Olli’s and Marko’s stories together, Jaska found out he was right. One afternoon a police officer came into Marko’s room as he was chatting with Markus and found some joints there, which was a breach of university’s rules. The officer arrested Marko, and lead him to a makeshift facility, where Marko spent the night. Markus got him out the next morning, clean of charges. Embarrased by the arrest, Marko just wanted to lay low. He dropped the college. He started running some errands for Markus, probably as a way to show how grateful he was. Markus paid him pretty well. And Marko did have a taste for money. 

Looking back now, with that weird police incident and dropping charges, Jaska wonders if that was a real police officer after all. It seems more like Markus’s doing. And Markus… well, Markus Kaarlonen is running for the City Mayor on the next election day. 

Andrea didn’t know what to think, much less what to say. It was such an unfortunate set of events, one bad step leading to another, even worse.  
Are they still in touch?  
No, not for the last ten years or so. They stayed in touch some time after that, but they gradually lost contact.  
How is Marko? Did he – this was so hard to say – say anything about me?  
Jaska took another sip. - Well, the normal Marko has checked out… and the madman Marko has checked in… He’s staying with us for a while… Not that Marko is ever completely normal – he added with a weird smile - And, no, he doesn’t talk about you. Olli mentioned you twice, Marko got furious with Olli… But both Markos want to know if you’re ok. 

*****

Andrea couldn’t stop thinking about conversation she had with Jaska that afternoon. If you can judge a person by their friends, Marko was a reliable, decent human being. Judging by his choice of career, he definitely wasn’t decent. What was it that Jaska said… the madman… For whatever reason, Andrea wasn’t the least bit surprised by it, and that was weird as well. And that other thing… Marko’s Andrea… it kept ringing in her ears. So, there has been a specific moment in time when someone in their little company, maybe even Marko himself, referred to her as ‘Marko’s Andrea’. She gave a dry smile. Chances are, if she asked for ‘Andrea’s Marko’, she would probably be given the madman, and denied the normal Marko.


	25. Better things to do

Andrea was anxious to see Marko again. He was not making any contact, but maybe if she could tell him how she felt, if he would listen… She was aware that there were two big ifs, but she wanted to relieve some of the pressure she felt. Three days after chatting with Jaska she called Olli, telling him she would like to visit Marko. Olli said it wasn’t a good idea, with Marko acting like a loose cannon, but Andrea insisted and Olli finally gave in. Olli would take her to Marko the following day. He would pick her up at 6 p.m. 

*****

Before they left the car, Olli had a final piece of advice. - Don’t let him get inside your head. He’ll get there eventually, but don’t act on it. Keep cool as long as you can. It’s best if you don’t stay long, because you probably won’t be able to stand him for more than five minutes.  
What a strange warning, because it definitely was a warning of some sort. Andrea raised her eyebrows, looking at Olli with an unsaid question.  
Trust me, I know what I’m saying. - Olli said, resignation all over his face. What sort of trouble did Olli expect? 

Olli let them in using a key. The whole flat was dark. He turned on the light in a little hallway. - Marko, we’re here. - No reply. Andrea wondered if they came in a bad time. Marko could be sleeping. Olli led them to the living room and turned on the light. The room was tidy and organised, a single glass was on the little table, and everything seemed normal. She expected some disorganised mess, but it wasn’t there. It took her a couple of seconds to realise that Marko was sitting in a high-rest chair, with his back turned to them, in front of a desktop computer across the room.  
Marko, we’re here – Olli repeated. They stayed close to the living room door. Andrea suddenly felt that she didn’t want to enter that room more than she did.

Marko turned around, still sitting in a chair. He was wearing a white T-shirt and dark jeans. His hair was a bit longer, styled away from the face, short stubble of a beard, but he looked clean and normal. At the first glance. He was still sitting there, watching them watch him. He did seem a bit tired, or exhausted, like something was consuming him from the inside. And his eyes looked reddish, but it could’ve been from drinking and poor sleeping. And then he got up and Andrea took a better look of his T-shirt.  
It was like two images were overlapping; a red-and-white coil turning counterclockwise, and a dark grey butterfly with wide, but somewhat thin wings. And there were some irregular geometrical forms, bright blue, vibrant pink changing into ultraviolet, sharp yellow, with thick black borders. It looked lively at first, but as he was standing there, with that too lively, too colourful T-shirt, something was so off that she almost choked. Was the image on the T-shirt slightly tilted to the side? Was Marko standing slightly tilted to the side? 

What’s she doing here? - Marko finally spoke. He was talking to Olli, without giving a glance in Andrea’s direction.  


I told you I was going to get Andrea. - Olli replied, calmly. Why wasn’t Marko looking at her? - He’s had it for ten years now, but the bloody thing won’t fade away or rip – Olli said to himself. Was Olli getting pissed already? Because of the T-shirt?  


Didn’t hear it – Marko commented in a flat voice. He stood in the middle of the room, next to a small coffee table. Something about him was definitely off. It was so uncomfortable, making her want to leave the place.  


Of course you didn’t, because you never listen! - Olli’s tone rose at the end of the sentence, demonstrating he was getting angry.  


I’m not interested in talking to her. You brought her here, you talk to her. I have better things to do. - Marko replied. Again, he was deliberately looking everywhere else, but at Andrea. Why was he being such a prick? What did he mean by ‘not interested in talking to her’? He’s still ignoring her, an idiot.  


Better things to do?! Better things to do?! - Olli wiped his forehead in disbelief and frustration. - What better things to do?  


Buying things online. Watching TV commercials. Better things to do – Marko waved off with his hand and turned around, going back to the desktop. How dare he ignoring her like that, that smug self-centered bastard, Andrea thought as her blood started boiling in anger. It took very little trolling from his side to bring out Andrea’s nasty side. 

Olli and I can talk, sure. But, there are better things we can do. Olli showed his interest when he was back at my place – Andrea said in a suggestive tone.  


Marko’s back stiffened in an instance and he stood there for a blink of an eye. Then he slowly turned, his eyes dark beyond recognition, something vicious rolling out of the blue like a storm. He fixed his gaze upon Andrea, finally, giving her the most intense look she’s ever experienced. Something dark was radiating from him, coming closer to burn her. And everybody around her.  


Did he?


	26. Broken glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some strong language here. No wonder.

I didn’t! Why are you saying that? - Olli’s eyes went to Andrea’s and returned to Marko’s. - She’s lying!

Is she? - Marko frowned and tilted his head. Before Andrea realised what was going on, Marko was in Olli’s face and pushed Olli’s shoulders. Olli fell backwards to the sofa. He struggled to sit up, but Marko was faster. He sat astride him and pinned him down to the sofa. Olli couldn’t believe what was happening. He was squirming and wincing around to get free, but Marko held him by his wrists, immobilising him with his legs. Andrea watched amusedly, with a strange expression, resembling a smile, on her face. 

Did you? - Marko lowered his face to Olli’s face, inspecting it. Olli was usually so composed and calm, it was strangely pleasant to see him disarrayed, bewilderment in his eyes, gasping for breath. Marko leaned on one elbow to press and hold both Olli’s wrists in the left hand, moving his right hand over Olli’s mouth, and down on his neck. He pressed his neck lightly, to make breathing even more difficult for Olli. He felt his heartbeats on the artery. At the same time he became aware of softness and warmth of Olli’s hips, twitching against his inner thighs. 

Now roll him over and show him what you’re interested in - Andrea said.

What? - Marko forgot about Olli and focused on her, sitting back and up on his heels. Olli used his chance to find his way from under Marko and stand up, burning in anger and confusion. 

What’s the matter with you, Andrea? What the fuck is the matter with you? - Olli screamed as he was fixing his hair and clothes. - And what the hell is with you, Marko? Do you trust her over me now? - His piercing looks and words of accusation cut Marko deep, but he was too proud and ashamed to admit it now. He lowered his head and hands. 

Olli, please, don’t leave…

Fuck you! 

Hey, Olli, I’m sorry. It wasn’t about you… - Andrea tried to make up for the troubles she caused, but Olli just looked at her for a second, a wild, unforgiving look, and stormed out of the room. It was suddenly almost unbearably quiet in there. 

Marko sat on the sofa. Andrea still stood next to the door. 

What was that? - Marko broke the silence. 

I don’t know what you mean. - Andrea replied defensively. 

Oh, I think you do. You seem to always know what I mean. - Marko pressed his lips. - You lied. Olli never tried to touch you, right? 

Yes, I mean, no. He never tried to touch me. He’s not that type of person. 

So why did you say it? It was an awful thing to lie like that.

Oh, don’t patronise me, Marko. - Andrea said almost angrily. - It’s not like you have any moral ground to accuse me of not being perfect.  
Marko raised eyebrows and repeated his question. Andrea puffed and sniggered. 

Olli really isn’t the type of person to do that. He’s sweet, kind and caring. I know it. You know it, too. You’ve known him longer. So, the question isn’t why I lied. I lied to make you mad. The question is why did you believe it? Or, even better, why did you decide to act like you believed it? 

Marko lowered his eyes to the ground, angry, resentful, but thinking about her words. He had a disturbing feeling that he was about to hear something about himself, something he wouldn’t like the least bit. He poured himself a glass and drank half at once. 

You see, I know you’ve been drinking lately. Drinking is a great excuse for doing anything. I lied. But I didn’t make you push Olli. You pushed him. You pinned him down. You held him subdued. That’s your own doing. And Marko? You didn’t see your face as you were lying on top of him. You were grinning the whole time. Did you know that, Marko? 

Stop speaking and leave. - Anger was rising in him. He didn’t like what she was saying, and he couldn’t call it lies, either. 

He’s really so sweet. Sweetness is so rare, it deserves to be cherished. - Andrea was speaking slowly, emphasizing words in a melodic rhythm. - To have him so close and not to be able to enjoy that sweetness fully, must be hard… eh, Marko? 

Get out! - Marko shouted, his shout followed with a sound of glass breaking against the wall a split second later. Andrea screamed and ran away. 

Must be hard… Andrea said. Marko took a deep breath and covered his face with his hands, leaning his elbows on his knees. 

As the unfinished drink was pouring down the wall leaving brown stains, Marko contemplated. A broken window of Andrea’s car, opening the kidnap disaster. A glass of drink Andrea pushed off the table to get his attention while she was chatting with Jaska on the Halloween party. This glass, smashed against the wall to silence her and make her leave. With Andrea, he felt as if he was constantly dancing on broken glass. Was there more pleasure or pain?


	27. Just like Marko

Olli has had enough of Marko’s emotional rollercoaster, insinuations and implications going on for years. It was bad enough turning a blind eye to his occassional outbursts when they were alone, or with Jaska, but to express all that in front of a stranger like Andrea?! And what was she doing, fueling him like that?! How did she even know…?! The words she said were probably the worst combination of words she could have possibly said, and she nailed it flawlessly. None of this was supposed to happen. He was still breathing heavily when Andrea entered the car. He’ll drive her back, but he doesn’t have to be nice.For what it’s worth, she looked really ashamed of what she did. 

I’m really sorry, Olli. That’s all I’m gonna say. 

Olli wanted to speak his mind before they leave the parking lot. - You have no idea what you did back there, do you? Some things are better left unsaid. When you say them, they can never go back to being unsaid again. You broke something. You didn’t just break it, you took it, you threw it violently and smashed it against the wall. And you enjoyed it. Fuck, you’re just like Marko. When you’re hurt, there’s no remorse for the trouble spread. You two deserve each other. He hurts you, you hurt him. If that’s how you want to play it, fine. Just don’t make me your collateral. 

The tone of his voice, the hurt and blame in his eyes… Andrea didn’t know Olli that well, but could see he was a man torn apart. He was a kind and decent human being, and notion that she hurt him so much that he turned from a sweet person into a bitter one, on top of everything else, was simply too much. She silently cried all the way to her flat. 

Olli saw Andrea was crying, and he instantly felt miserable. But he simply didn’t have any strength to pick up somebody else’s pieces again. He couldn’t even help himself find the way out of this mess. He sees Marko every day. How will he face him tomorrow? They had a silent agreement not to speak about certain things. Now that the agreement is broken, how can they move on as if everything is fine? 

*****

Marko had some dark undertones, Andrea knew that. But there was something Olli said, about her being equally cruel when hurt… Why would he say something like that? He didn’t know her… but he did know Marko… Could it be that he really recognised some of these characteristics in her? Was she a violent, vengeance-loving person? 

***** 

Overboard celebrated fifty years in the construction industry and the plan was to have a special de lux hardbound edition featuring photos of Overboard’s most remarkable achievements. The publishing contract was almost signed with a different publishing company but Markus managed to convince everyone that Muse Books was a better choice. It didn’t really matter, since it was just a publicity stunt, so he didn’t have to try hard. Any publishing company will do for Overboard. Markus, on the other hand, had his own motives to choose who to work with. He tracked down that girl Marko was with the night Markus’s men were supposed to get him alone. Muse Books was where a certain Andrea Blake worked. She was 32, single, never married, no children, living alone at 25, Lake Street. 

She wasn’t really Markus’s type. He preferred his women with more raw sexuality. Andrea was too mousy for him. However, being mousy and sort of plain jane were just the qualities that made her irresistible to Marko, and that instantly made her rise in Markus’s eyes. He knew Marko had a thing for normal looking girls, who didn’t wear flashy or too seductive clothes, and kept their makeup light and hair long and clean. Markus smiled. Marko was always looking at girls with long, dark hair, probably because he himself was so blond and pale, almost translucent. Marko also looked for girls he could talk to. His ideal girl would have to be a clever, witty plain jane with the ability to transform into a sexy partner in crime/life. 

Replaying the scenes from the drowning video, Markus had to give Andrea a credit. She had curves in all the right places, and she was pretty. If she wore a tight dress… or nothing except that long, flowing hair of hers… An image of sweaty Marko, kissing Andrea’s breasts as they roll over on the bed came to his mind. They sure would look good in a dim, candle-lit room, kissing, laughing, enjoying themselves. Markus wouldn’t mind watching some of that rolling as it took place. He also wouldn’t mind beating Marko to it and taking Andrea just to spoil it for Marko.


	28. I can’t lift myself up on my own

After dropping Andrea at her place, Olli went back to his office to try and calm down, but it was useless. The more he wanted to find excuses for Marko, the angrier he became. Why would he be finding excuses for Marko? He’s been finding excuses for Marko for years now. Marko is an adult who is used to Olli finding excuses for him. It suits him fine. Olli can’t blame anyone but himself for accepting to find excuses for so long. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep unless he clears it up, he texted Marko to see if he’s home. He was. Olli put on his brown leather jacket and went outside. 

Marko opened the door, staring blankly and moved aside to let Olli in. Neither man said hello. Olli didn’t sit. Marko felt he wasn’t allowed to sit, either. Olli saw a stain on the wall next to the living room door. Not too interested in what happened, he decided he would use it as a conversation starter. 

What’s this? 

Marko rolled his eyes, looking uncomfortable. - That was before Andrea left…

Olli gave a quick, nervous smile. Was Marko trying to blame everything on Andrea? When he goes all mad like this, he becomes extremely manipulative. Or maybe he wasn’t doing that. He was shifting left to right, arms crossed, shoulders down, couldn’t look him in the eye. Let’s see what he has to say. 

I’m not here to talk about Andrea. What she said was… wow, but I’m not here to talk about Andrea. - Olli couldn’t find the words to really say what he wanted. 

I understand. - These words from Marko were just what Olli was waiting for. 

Do you? I hope you do. You didn’t lose it because of Andrea. You didn’t lose it because you were drinking, you were drinking so you would lose it. This wasn’t the first time, and I made a promise to myself. There will not be the third time. - His voice was already trembling. It was so hard to say this! Olli went quiet to calm down. 

As Olli was looking at the stain on the wall to calm down, Marko dared looking at Olli, without meeting his accusing eyes. Wearing blue jeans and a blue denim shirt accentuated the blue of his eyes, and the light brown jacket complemented his fair complexion and hair, giving them a warm goldish glow. He always knew how to dress smart. He always was a sight for Marko’s eyes, reminding him of an angel with that irresistible smile and endless will to make things better. There were times where the only thing that kept Marko’s spirit up was the fact that Olli would show up sooner or later and comfort him the way only Olli could. There was a time or two when Marko did something wrong specifically in order to get attention and comfort from that gorgeous creature. Marko loved his eyes, the grimaces he made while talking, the light and confident way he walked. But right now, his face was empty and tired. This angel looked as if he had lost his wings, stuck in the mire of this dirty world. Marko wanted to embrace him and return some of the comfort he was so generously given, but feared it might be taken the wrong way. Olli looked at him, catching his eye. For a second Marko looked back, and then looked away, wondering if Olli could somehow read it in his eyes what he was just thinking. 

Anyway, I think it would be best if we didn’t see each other for a while. 

That sentence sounded so definite to Marko. He felt his dark disquiet rising again. Was Olli walking away from him? - Olli, please… There’s no need for that. I’d sooner cut my arms than do anything bad to you. 

I believe you would, and you mean it. Now. And most of the time. But you can’t really control yourself… and sometimes, like now, you drink to have an excuse to lose control. I like you, Marko. I really do. But there are things you can do, and things you can’t do. 

Marko’s facial expressions spoke volumes. - I’ll stop drinking. 

Olli gave a sad smile. - Do that, but for you, not to keep me here. 

Marko spread his arms wide, pleading, his voice shaking with emotions - Olli, I can’t lift myself up on my own. I need you…

Olli took one last look at Marko. Their eyes met. Marko seemed so scared and so fragile that Olli considered ignoring everything he said and go give him the tightest hug ever. But, what would be the point of it, then? - True. That’s why I need to walk away for a while. - With these words he turned around and walked away, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

Marko stayed motionless. The moment he heard Olli closing the apartment door behind him, he stooped, leaning on the wall and just slid down to sit on the floor. Right in front of him, on the opposite wall, that brown stain was mocking his defeat. He will stay alone, eventually. He started sobbing. He will stay alone, in his darkness, and nobody will care. 


	29. On being perfect

Olli thought he needed to clear things up so he could sleep that night. He thought wrong. No healing sleep came to soothe his troubled mind. Had he made a drastic move sooner, maybe things wouldn’t have gone so far. Stop blaming yourself, he kept repeating. Marko is what he is. You are not responsible for his actions. Yes, Marko is what he is, but Olli knew that almost from the beginning. He still stayed with him, for better or worse, because there was a wonderful side of Marko which Olli appreciated and was fond of. But, how does one balance it out? Does balance slay the demon? And is there a need to slay anything, for that matter? Aren’t we all just perfect the way we are, perfect with our flaws? 

Generally, Olli would agree, but right now he was too hurt and tired. In this particular situation he liked seeing Marko hurt. Marko deserved it. The moment he thought that, auto-correct signal lit up and Olli almost sat in the bed. He liked seeing Marko hurt. He deserved it. Olli just caught himself being all righteous for false reasons. He gave a little surprised laughter. 

Marko would probably be shocked if he knew what went on inside my mind, Olli thought to himself. That’s strange. Olli knew that Marko had an image of him as being a perfect being, morally at least. And as much as Olli, truly, was a goodie, there were moments when he felt under a tremendous pressure of having to be good, kind and understanding all the time. Sure, it was his true nature, but sometimes, sometimes it was simply too heavy to live up to everyone’s expectations. 

Olli was so reserved that he didn’t share some things, not even with Marko and Jaska. And while Olli really did act the best he could, that under no circumstances meant that his thoughts were as pure as his actions. He was aware of that duality in him, and the tension of concealing it was sometimes almost overwhelming. As for Marko, well, he can’t stay mad at Marko long, but he needs to teach him a lesson. Because it is a good thing for Marko. And because it feels good teaching someone a lesson. Who knew that admitting your own imperfection could be so liberating? How silly it really was, trying to impress everyone with being perfect, when, in reality, you only need the approval of the few around you, who will, most likely, accept you the way you are? Olli was smiling as he was falling asleep.


	30. Peculiar encounters

Becky wouldn’t stop complaining earlier that day how they haven’t been out in ages, so Andrea gave in and they went out that evening. Technoir, their favourite little bar near Andrea’s home, was never really crowded. They chose a table and ordered some drinks. While they were choosing the table, Andrea noticed two decent looking guys not far away, and it turned out they could be seen from their table as well. Becky started chatting, which meant Andrea started listening, without looking at the guys. She also wolfed down her drink sooner than she normally would have. Some time later, when she occasionally looked in their direction, she saw they were looking at two of them and smiling. She instinctively smiled, but immediately looked away. If it was up to her, that would’ve been it. Only it wasn’t up to her. Smiling directed to them couldn’t go unnoticed by Becky, who smiled back quite openly. And there they were, right as Andrea was starting her second drink. One of the guys was rocking a wild head of wiry, dark hair that’s started to go grey on top, with pretty much no hair on sides and back. His blue eyes were so welcoming that they could light up the entire bar. The other seemed younger and adorable, with longer, dark hair and kind dark eyes. Andrea’s wing-woman took the initiative. 

What’s your name?

The guy with the wild ‘do was the first to answer – Jani.

Jani? - Becky replied – Is that with an n?

Yes. Jannnnnnnni – Jani said, trying to roll that ‘n’ in his name. As he was pronouncing it, Andrea thought she heard it like ‘yummy’, ‘yummmmmy’ and gave a quick, sudden laugh. Get a grip, woman, she thought the moment they all looked at her. - Sorry. 

I’m Becky. And what’s your name? - she turned to the dark-haired guy.

It’s Jari.

Yummi Jani and Yummi Jari, Andrea thought, bursting out once again. God damn! Control yourself! - Sorry! I’m Andrea. Nice to meet you, Jani and Jari! 

Jari said something quietly that made the other two giggle, and Andrea took another sip and another look. Yummy they were. She wanted to run her fingers through their hair and she wanted to tickle them until they can take it no more. She grabbed her phone, turning away and pretending to type something to allow herself a wide grin. Pull yourself together, Andrea! You can do that! They reminded her of Olli and Jaska. She turned around with a straight face, hoping nobody noticed her little escapade, wishing for Becky to continue the chatting. Becky continued chatting, alright. 

So, where are you guys from? 

We’re from Finland.

Is this a joke? - Andrea asked quite harsher than she meant to. Guys looked at each other, and at Becky. 

No… We’re really from Finland. - replied Jari, looking a little confused. 

What, does Finnish government advise, no, instruct, each single Finn going to the States to look for me? Is there a sign above my head saying ‘If you’re Finnish, contact this person’? - went through Andrea’s mind, but, luckily, she said none of it. They’re from Finland? Ok… she has some questions then. 

Do you… - she actually leaned across the table to close the distance between them, rocking slightly forwards and backwards – happen to know a guy named Olli?

Yes, I know a couple of guys named Olli… - answered Jani, happy to be of assistance, but still with a confused look on his face.

He’s blond, like almost white… - There was no reply, and Andrea knew that without a last name, this wild goose chase was going nowhere. - And Jaska? Do you know Jaska? 

Jaska is a pretty common name, too. - Jani almost apologised. Jari looked guilty, too, for not being able to help.

Jaska’s got a beard. 

Yeah, that’s a common feature,...

But, Andrea knew the keywords for getting what she wanted. She took a deep breath, a satisfied smirk on her lips. - Olli does waltz, and Jaska does disco!

It was the Finns’ turn to laugh uncontrollably. Becky was rolling her eyes, wondering how a person can act so silly after two glasses of wine. - That’s it! You’ve had enough! 

Wait! I didn’t ask about…

...and you won’t! Cause we’re leaving! - Becky grabbed her by the shoulder, turned her around and pushed her towards the door, gathering their belongings, excusing them and saying goodbye to the Finns. 

*****  
Jani and Jari refrained themselves from making any comment when they stayed alone. They went back to their table. 

Is Marko coming? - asked Jari. - I really need to talk to him. 

Yep, he texted me ten minutes ago. He should be here any moment. 

*****  
As they were walking to Becky’s car, Becky reminded Andrea to pull herself together because they had an important visit scheduled for the next day. It was on a very short notice, and quite unexpected, but Overboard suddenly addressed Muse Books offering them a business of printing their luxury book celebrating fifty years of excellence in construction. Andrea was a bit drunk and couldn’t remember why that name rang a bell straight away, but then she did. Wasn’t that the company where Marko was believed to have worked?

The meeting next day was just another meeting. A couple of bosses from her company greeted three men from Overboard. Simon, her boss, told her that she was requested to attend the meeting. She found it a bit strange, since editors do not normally attend such meetings, but she went. Two men were directly from Overboard, while the third one was announced as Overboard’s associate, quite vague, indeed. He didn’t speak much. For some reason, Andrea found his presence unsettling. He was a normally looking guy, maybe close to his forties, tall, no hair, short dark beard, but his dark eyes were somehow odd, for the lack of a better word. He seemed cold, calculated, untrustworthy.They said his name was Markus Kaarlonen. She thought she heard his name before. Wasn’t he about to run for a Mayor? What was a politician doing there? 

During the course of that meeting their eyes met only once, for a brief moment. But that gaze was so vicious and intense that it simply couldn’t have been an accident. Andrea realised that he reminded her of Marko at his worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was aiming at something like Strange meetings for this chapter's title but then it hit me - why not use Peculiar encounters? Sounds better, doesn't it, FanFicReader01? ;)
> 
> P.S. This phrase belongs to the person mentioned above, I just couldn't resist using it.


	31. A solid silver chain

As the meeting was closing, Andrea couldn’t wait to get out. She tried convincing herself that the ugly gaze was just a coincidence, because Markus didn’t look at her in the last thirty minutes, but it was, nevertheless, unsettling. She almost sighed in relief when everyone started getting up. 

Ms Blake, can you stay for a while? I’ll be with you in a moment – Someone said. It was none other than Markus, looking at her normally.  
Yes, of course – She said, even though she didn’t really want to stay. It was probably some technicality on editing. But still, why would he address her directly? Her gut feeling was telling her something was wrong, but she couldn’t put a finger to it. Her bosses, and then the two Overboard bosses left the room, leaving the two of them alone. 

Ms Blake, I understand you have a portfolio of some of your previous work. Can I see it? - Markus asked politely. 

She just nodded. He was sitting diagonally from her, so Andrea stood up and walked over, carrying the portfolio with her. As she came closer and handed him the portfolio, he reached for her arms grabbing her by both wrists and she gasped in surprise. What a hell was he doing? Sketches and blueprints fell all over the floor. Andrea pulled to break free, but she was taken by surprise and he was much stronger. What a hell was he doing?! All those people are outside, somebody must come inside any second. Her eyes widened in terror when she saw that vicious stare once again. 

I saw a lovely piece of jewellery, Ms Blake. A solid silver chain, real piece of craftsmanship. It’s strangely formed, like a question mark. It curves around the neck, and progresses down in a single line. - He was still holding her by wrists, ogling her all the time. How come nobody’s entering the room?! 

She was still resisting and trying to break free, so he pulled her a little closer, close enough for her loose hair to lightly brush against his face. He gave a surprised laughter, and widened his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, obviously enjoying the sensation. Andrea saw it and pulled her head away, but he pulled her closer again, to have more of that light touch, almost a caress. Is anybody going to enter that fucking room?!

Their faces were very close, her long, dark hair falling as a curtain around them, separating them from the rest of the world. He was enjoying that unwilling and unexpected caress more than he would’ve imagined. - On the neck clasp, and at the other end it is ornamented with two black tourmalines. - He was almost whispering now. - The chain is wide and quite long. I wonder, if you wore it, wearing only that, how low would the other tourmaline sit? - for a moment he just stared at her, no words. 

He suddenly released her, and sat back in his chair, with Andrea springing away the second her wrists were free, staring him down few steps away. 

Don’t forget your sketches – He said. She crouched to collect them knowing that he was still observing her from his chair, enjoying that as well. She never took her eyes of him as she gathered and arranged sheets into her portfolio. 

Andrea already at the door, he spoke again. Andrea turned to see him. – One more thing, Ms Blake. I came to realise we have a friend in common. Say hello to Marko Saaresto for me. I know how close you are as of lately. Pardon my intrusion, but that was one very bizarre way of romancing someone, even for someone as shy as he was. He could’ve just said ‘Hello’ in a local bar… 

The semi-smile he had was one of the scariest things she has ever seen in her life. She opened the door and stormed out. Luckily, the corridor was empty so no one could see her trembling as she darted for the ladies room. Trembling and almost feverish, she knew she would have to see Marko as soon as she leaves work.


	32. Being a good host

Andrea still had Marko’s number memorised. She somehow imagined he changed it long ago. Why not check it now, while she’s in the ladies room? She texted to a number she hoped was still his: ‘Can I come by later today, before your friends come disco dancing and waltzing? I need to talk to you.’ The message would make no sense to anyone but Marko. She hoped it was him who she texted. Thirty seconds later there was a text on her phone. ‘You’re welcome. No glass breaking this time.’ 

She almost cried in relief. ‘No glass breaking this time.’ Of course! The last time they saw each other, he threw a glass to the wall. And there was that time when she broke a glass, pushing it off the table on that Halloween party… And, of course, he broke her window, made of glass, when he stormed into her car, setting this chain of events in motion.

***** 

It was almost five when she rang Marko’s doorbell. It felt so strange to ring his doorbell. She doubted there were many people that rang their kidnapper’s doorbell and hoped they would open the door. Plus, she spend quite a lot of time fantasizing about him in the last month, month and a half, so it was almost an out-of-body experience just to stand there and ring that doorbell as it was the most normal thing to do in the world. 

In a few seconds she heard the footsteps and the door opened. Marko opened, wearing a faded red hoodie and grey jeans. She smiled wider than she intended. - Are you goint to act normally today? - Oops, that came out a bit harsher than she wanted. - Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. 

Marko just rolled his eyes, but he understood. - It’s ok. Come inside. - He moved from the doorway to let her in into a hallway. - But, please take your shoes off. Here are some slippers for you. 

She came into the living room, remembering the first time she was there, so she stood, hesitating a little. It was a rectangularly shaped room, with a little oval coffee table in the middle. A black leather sofa stood against the wall, an LCD flat screen on the opposite wall, with two matching armchairs on each end of the table. On the further end of the room there was a big window, a desk with desktop computer and a tall shelf brimmed with books. Andrea coudn’t see the titles, but was pleased to see those books. She sat at the further end of the sofa and returned her gaze to Marko, quite fascinated, taking her coat off. 

I have more books in the bedroom – Marko said innocently, sitting in the armchair closer to the door. 

Andrea raised her brow in disbelief and smirked – Marko, now is not the best time…

Marko didn’t seem to get – For what? I just said I have more books in the bedroom. - Then his eyes widened and his face lit up in a goofy smile.

Andrea smiled back, a little ashamed – Oh, sorry… I meant you said… - She realised that what he said innocently, he really meant innocently. Not like her, who jumped to conclusion thinking he was asking her to bedroom. She rolled her eyes, and looked back at him. He was still smiling, that weird but adorable smile in his eyes and on his lips. His lips go heart-shaped when he’s trying to smile and not to smile at the same time, she made a mental note, remembering she saw him smile like that once before, in the night of the kidnap. 

Wait! Before we start talking, would you like something to drink? Some of those coffee-based things you seem to like? 

Yeah, sure, thanks! - Andrea smiled. Marko went to the kitchen and came back with three differently flavoured little bags, playing with them at the doorway.

Mmm, call me basic but I’ll take a pumpkin-spice latte!

Pumpkin-spice latte is coming!

Two minutes later Andrea was holding a mug in her both hands, warming them and sniffing the pleasant aroma spreading around. While Marko was handing her the mug, their fingers brushed again, making both of them gasp and look away, blushing. - Marko, is it me or it’s chilly here?

No, a pipe broke earlier this morning, the whole building is freezing. Why, are you cold? - He suddenly looked worried. - I’ll get you something.


	33. The fine art of applying a blanket

He came back with an unbelievably fluffy and equally unbelievably bright pink blanket, covered in little red hearts. Andrea gave a short laughter.

Yeah, my reaction precisely when Jaska gave it to me for one Valentine’s Day. He was dating a girl back then, but didn’t want me to feel left out of the holiday magic – He rolled his eyes again, and circled the table, approaching Andrea to wrap it around her. She was still holding her mug with both hands, and she stiffened a bit, looking him in the eye. He suddenly didn’t know what to do. He spread the fluffy thing between his arms, noticing her lush, glowing dark hair, the pointy, little silver earrings (the ones from the date night), the tight, white top she wore under an open dark grey cardigan (this was the first time he saw the curvy line of her breasts!), and noticing, above all, her piercing dark blue eyes staring at him constantly. Oh my god, did she notice I looked at her breasts? It took him eternity to wrap the blanket around her, tucking the upper ends behind her shoulders, trying not to touch her hair, but touching it anyway, because it was all over her shoulders and down the back. It was so soft he almost smiled.

Andrea never took her eyes of Marko once he spread his arms and leaned down, toward her, feeling he was extremely tense. He was so careful and concentrated as if he was designing and constructing that blanket around her. His face was really close, and he was looking away, so she had a chance of enjoying his features without him realising. His right eyebrow and short stubble of the beard along his jawline seemed so inviting she wanted to touch them. His neck, his shoulder that was so close… How come she didn’t feel his hands on her shoulders? Was he deliberately trying not to touch her? Well, blondie, you can’t get so close without touching and being touched. Trying not to startle him, she slowly lowered her left hand under the blanket, holding the mug, and freed it out, placing the mug on the table. 

As Marko was still tampering with the blanket, she freed her other hand, too, running them both softly up and down his ribcage. At first, his beautiful eyes widened in surprise, but he soon closed them, focusing on the wonderful feeling of Andrea’s hands on his body. Andrea lifted her feet on the couch, and leaned back, adjusting her position and sitting on her heels. Marko kneeled down, straddling her, and moving away the pink blanket. She run her inquisitive hands down his ribs and to the back, feeling his butt and back side of thighs through jeans. He laughed in enjoyment. She spanked him and he laughed some more. She smiled to herself, eyes closed, in pleasure. 

Her cardigan was half hiding her top, and that was driving Marko mad, but he didn’t remove it directly. Instead, he placed both hands on her ribs, closing the grip on her back, which moved the cardigan to sides and revealed that tight, white top and the middle section of her body. She looked like a Greek goddess, her arms to the side, breasts popping up, back arched, hips seductively swaying. He caressed her thighs in an upward movement, resting his hands on her butt. She, too, was wearing a tight, dark jeans, her butt deliciously curved and high up. 

Suddenly, his cellular rang. Marko just cursed beneath his voice, still feeling the softness of her butt, ignoring the sound. But the ringing went on, Andrea sat down and he reached for the cellular on the table, still kneeling around Andrea. 

Hey, Marko. Change of plans, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. 

Marko just sighed heavily. - Jaska will be here in fifteen minutes. Maybe I should just wrap you back in this blanket and you may tell me why you came here in the first place – He said, still obviously pissed Jaska has interrupted their little socialising. Andrea was pissed, too, but she did come here for a reason. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. 

Marko… Markus Kaarlonen says ‘Hello’.


	34. I honestly wish I met you back then

Marko just blinked, but Andrea was pretty sure he stopped breathing for a moment. He wrapped her in the blanket and sat next to her, turning to her. - Tell me everything that happened, it’s very important. 

I’ve heard the name before. I know he’s connected with Overboard, and he will be running for the Mayor. Overboard and my company signed a publishing contract, which was surprising, because they just showed out of nowhere, and these things are normally planned in advance. We had a meeting, and I wasn’t actually supposed to be there, but I was… Now that I think about it, maybe he asked my boss to call me…

What do you mean? 

Well, I’m an editor, not a big player in Muse Books. There was absolutely no reason for my attending the meeting, but my boss told me I was ‘requested’ there. - Marko just sighed – Hm, that does sound like Markus’s plotting. What happened then? Did he mention me at the meeting?

No, after it. He asked me to stay a bit, under a pretext he wanted to see some of my previous work. And… - Andrea felt the coldness and disgust rising from her gut – we stayed alone in the room. - Andrea took a sip of her latte to calm down. She was safe now. She was warm. Marko was next to her. She didn’t really want to tell him what happened next, but she knew she had to. Staring blankly at the latte, she told him how he held her by the wrists. Marko hugged her silently. Her face buried to his chest, listening to the beating of his heart, she was relieved he couldn’t see her shame as she was telling him about the silver chain insinuation. Good thing she couldn’t see his expression at that moment, because while he was comforting her, he was barely controlling himself enough not to stand up straight away and go locate and beat that son of a bitch dead. Still holding her, Marko asked her to say what happened next. 

I almost left the room, when he said that he had one more thing to tell me. He said we had a friend in common, Marko Saaresto, and that I should tell you he said hello. 

He used the word ‘friend’?

Yes. 

Marko gave a nervous snigger. - Bastard. Yes, we were friends at college.

How could you have been friends with someone so vicious? 

Marko smirked, unsure how to answer that one. - He was so confident… I guess I looked up to him a little.

Aah, that why he said what he said next. - Andrea said quietly, more speaking to herself than to Marko.

What did he say? 

He mentioned you were shy, shy with girls back then. Were you? 

Marko made no reply. 

I honestly wish I met you back then. Were you really shy? 

Marko was getting annoyed with this persistance. - Yes, I was. Why does it matter now? - His voice sounded hoarse. He was really upset about this, Andrea thought. 

It matters to me… I’ve always liked shy and smart guys. Had we met on college, you might have spent more time with me than with him, and things might have turned out better. 

That statement was so unexpected and deeply touching that Marko didn’t know what to say. He kissed her on the back of her head, enjoying the sensation of her in his embrace. 

Oh, and he said it was such a bizarre way of romancing someone… So I guess he knows how we met. 

Oh. Well, I’m not surprised. He always was a control freak. Did he really use the word romancing? 

He did.

Hm… He knows we are… well, we… - Marko was having trouble finding the right word. 

More than just friends? - Andrea jumped in with the solution. 

Yes – Marko was grateful that she didn’t complicate it any more at this moment.

And he said you basically just could’ve said hello in a bar… Hm, he said in a local bar… Does that mean…

Yes, it definitely means he’s watching us. He knows where we both live, he knows where we work, he got to you to get to me… and he loves it. I know him. He absolutely fucking loves it.


	35. Connected

A door was heard opening, so they both looked in that direction. A moment later Jaska was at the living room door, and Olli was behind him.  


Olli! - Both Andrea and Marko said simultaneously. 

Yeah, fuck old Jaska, he’s good for nothing – Jaska frowned and smirked at the same time. - Hi – he nodded to Marko and went to greet Andrea. - Hey, Andrea! Long time, no see! - Jaska said it loud enough for everyone to hear and winked at her in the most direct way possible. He stooped down to hug Andrea, who was a little taken aback by the hug, but hugged him back nevertheless. She instantly felt good. Marko frowned, wondering what Jaska was talking about. Jaska caught the frown. 

I, sort of, paid Andrea a little visit a few days ago. - Jaska said, as he was sitting down on an armchair close to Andrea, on the further end of the coffee table. 

I don’t remember you mentioned it – Marko replied, still frowning. 

What would’ve been the point, given the state you were in? - Jaska replied with a question and an underlying tone of sarcasm. Marko sighed, and let it go. - I always wondered who I’m gonna find under that blanket one day… - Jaska said, giving Andrea a meaningful look. - Glad it’s you. Did we interrupt something?...

Andrea grinned in surprise, not sure how to react. 

Olli was still standing at the room entrance. Andrea and Marko were looking at each other, and at everything else in the room. - Hi, everyone – Olli mumbled, and sat on the free chair right next to him. He was avoiding to look at Marko and Andrea. 

Did somebody die here? - Asked Jaska, confused by the change of atmosphere in the room. No replies. - Ok, I’ll go fetch me and Olli a glass. Anybody need anything else? - And he was gone. 

I wasn’t expecting you… - Marko started, looking at Olli, slouching down, still uncomfortable of looking him in the eye. 

I wasn’t sure I was going to come – Olli replied simply. 

Andrea could see both man from where she was sitting. Hurt, traces of anger and vindictiveness on Olli’s face. Shame, guilt, remorse on Marko’s face. But she could clearly see that Olli wanted to forgive Marko, and that Marko would never hurt Olli again. She wished that each man could feel that promise radiating from the other man. Whatever their relation may have been, however difficult it may have been to categorise it, there was deep love between them. Maybe it wasn’t necessary to explain everything in words. They were connected beyond and above words. 

Olli’s facial muscles started twitching and he just grinned – For fuck’s sake… 

Marko grinned back and raised a glass to Olli. Olli rolled his eyes and looked away, still smiling. Everything was fine again. Andrea couldn’t believe the sweet scene she witnessed. 

Jaska came back carrying a tray with two more glasses and a couple of bottles, cans and packs of different beverages, along with some snacks. 

Hell, Marko, I see you went shopping! Your fridge hasn’t been so packed in a while! It’s really sweet you did all of that for me – He gave a mischievous grin and a wink. 

Ok, now that Jaska has so generously raided my fridge – Marko said, winking at Jaska, Jaska taking a bow and sitting down – I have an announcement to make. - Everybody was watching him. Andrea knew he would inform his friends on what she told him. 

Markus knows everything. 

Jaska’s eyebrows went up – When you say ‘everything’, what do you mean? - He also looked at Andrea quickly. - Not to be insensitive, but… Andrea’s here, and you’re talking freely in front of her. What does she know?


	36. Nothing to be afraid of, just more Finns

Andrea didn’t know what to think, now that she was familiar with the Finns’ schemes. Jaska worked in a local shelter. A couple of years ago, a homeless guy was talking about his home and land being expropriated by the state, because researches needed to be conveyed for the highway that should’ve been built across his land. The highway would be important in terms of shortening the route to Las Vegas, the city that Alamo gravitates toward. He said there were heavy irregularities. At that point it was unclear who the contractor would be, but soon enough Marko heard inside rumours about it being Overboard. Overboard started sending people to see whether the locals would be willing to relocate or take money for the land. 

Jaska and Marko decided to do whatever two people can do to prevent, or at least prolong, the construction of that highway. Marko had a more personal reason, to be honest. It’s true that he worked for Overboard part-time but he always rooted for underdogs, wanting them to win against big companies and corporations. For a while, Markus worked for Overboard, too, and that was when he helped Marko get a job there. Later on, Markus left, at least officially, but Marko stayed there. Andrea was wondering why Marko simply didn’t change a job, but Marko definitely had his way of seeing things. 

*****  
Marko looked at his phone to see the time. It was quarter past seven. Three more people were about to come. Earlier that day, he expected Jaska to come around 7 p.m, and the rest of the company to join them soon afterwards. That’s why he went out and bought all those groceries. He didn’t expect Andrea to come by. He was already home when she texted him, but he went out again to buy those cappuccino things she loved so much. He thought he would have more time with Andrea. But Jaska came early, bringing Olli with him, another thing he didn’t expect to happen. Still, looking at Andrea, Olli and Jaska chatting to each other he was thrilled about each of these unexpected events. And, there was no heating, precisely on that day. One can only laugh at themselves when they try to make any plans. 

And there was that doorbell sound he expected. - Guys, we’ll have more company. I think you’ll all love seeing them. Jaska, come help me with the chairs in the bedroom. Andrea… nothing to be afraid of, just more Finns – He winked at her and went to open the door. 

Andrea heard more voices and laughter, when Marko opened the door, followed by the commotion of people taking their shoes and coats off. She wondered will they be as sweet as these guys she already knew and loved. Seconds later, two men came in the room. Olli stood up in excitement. 

Jari! Jani! - The two men went into a group hug with Olli who was smiling from ear to ear. 

Andrea’s jaw just dropped. It was the guys from the bar, when she was with Becky last night. Nope, there could be no mistake. Yummi Jani and Yummy Jari. She just grinned.

Jani was the first to broke the hug, and turned to Andrea who stood up. He recognised her and smiled wider, pointing a finger at her, his blue eyes sparkling with humour. - ‘Is this a joke’? - He mocked her with repeating what she asked them the previous night. - Look, Jari! ‘Is this a joke’ is here! - And he approached her and hugged her. - It’s Andrea… - Andrea half-frowned in an attempt to look mad, but she simply couldn’t play being mad. 

Hey, Andrea!… Long time, no see! - said Jari, hugging her. - Hey, Jari!… Long time, indeed…

Olli was watching the scene unfold with an amused expression on his face. Marko and Jaska carried two chairs inside. Marko and Jari sat on chairs, while Jani sat where Marko was sitting, next to Andrea. In all that commotion, Andrea noticed that Jaska went to the door to greet the third person. His back looked stiff, and the tone of his voice was a little more sober.


	37. And how did the two of you meet?

Tiia! 

Hi, Jaska! 

Jaska turned his head around and looked at Marko with a question in his eye. Marko was aware that Jaska would be surprised, to say the least. He was also aware that Jaska had a wide set of different physical reactions, so he could be expecting anything from a nose punch to a 100% successful French kiss. Reasonably alerted, Marko shrugged his shoulders and spread his arms: - Surprise! 

The girl who was named Tiia bypassed Jaska and Andrea's jaw dropped, without her bothering to close the mouth. Of course she knew her as well. It was her therapist, the one Olli recommended to her. She was so messed up during few times she went there that she didn’t even remember her name. The woman and Olli hugged each other, smiling, and the woman looked at her. Tiia. She’ll remember the name.

Andrea! Wow! - She smiled. - Jani, move a little, I’ll sit next to Andrea. 

Tiia… I’m sorry, this can come across as a weird question… but are you a Finn, too? - Jani who was close enough to hear that question giggled, because he understood why Andrea looked so flabbergasted. 

Why… I don’t see the reason I wouldn’t be… - Tiia answered mysteriously. As Jani’s gigle grew into an open laughter, it caught the attention of others, who were all seated by that moment. 

It’s not a joke, Andrea – Jari added and laughed. - You, guys don’t know, but last night Jani and I went out, and met this cute little lady and a friend of hers. You were a little tipsy, weren’t you? - And he gave her a conspiracy wink – She was rather normal… until we mentioned we’re from Finland. Bam! 

You don’t have to tell the whole story… - Andrea pleaded, rolling her eyes and feeling the warmth rising to her cheeks. 

Tell us the whole story – Marko said, strangely interested, his eyes narrowed. 

She started asking if we knew anyone named Olli and Jaska… Damn! - Jari’s warm brown eyes widened in surprise as he realised something – You were asking about these two, right? 

Yes…

And you wanted to ask about someone else… but your friend literally pushed you to the door and you two left! 

Who did you want to ask about, Andrea? - Andrea heard Marko ask. 

It doesn’t matter – She replied, looking at him, but she couldn’t keep a straight face and she smiled, letting him know he was the one she was asking about. He smiled and lowered his gaze. 

Marko, you came not even a minute later. You may have passed each other on their way out. - Jari finished his narrative. 

And how did the two of you meet? - Jani asked Andrea and looked at Marko. Jaska started sniggering, and masked it by taking another sip of beer. Andrea and Olli looked really uncomfortable, and Marko’s eyebrows went up as he looked embarrassed. 

At a parking… - Marko started at the same time with Andrea saying – I gave him a ride. 

Tiia noticed all reactions from the four people. She remembered what Andrea was telling her at sessions. Sessions were private, and she would never disclose what she knew. 

Andrea looked at Tiia. Andrea never mentioned names, but she was pretty graphic with everything that happened, including the car hijack. She saw Tiia taking a slightly deeper breath, looking at her meaningfully. Andrea knew that Tiia had just come to realise that Marko was the kidnapper from Andrea’s sessions. Tiia nodded, and Andrea nodded back.


	38. Play along

Hey, any time you want to dance with me and feel me all over, just call. If you put an extra butt grab, even better – Andrea almost choked with laughter while brushing her teeth when she remembered Jaska saying that to her in front of the whole party last night. They were talking about the Halloween party and Jaska just blurted out this offer, leaving everyone, including Marko, roaring with laughter. 

Andrea felt at ease that evening, and she couldn’t remember when was the last time she laughed so hard and so much. She was an alien among them, so they did their best trying to communicate solely in English, which led to more funny situations, like when Jaska for whatever reason called Jari a ‘bad boy’, and Jari winked, immediately flattened stiff on his chair and asked ‘bed boy?’ ‘Pfff, why not, you can be a bed boy, too, you’re reasonably handsome’ - followed Jaska’s reply, with everyone laughing, again. She truly enjoyed their friendship. 

*****  


Still, there was nothing funny or friendly about to happen in the office that morning. As soon as Andrea walked in, Becky told her that Simon wants to talk to her in his office. Simon was sitting behind his monitor, looking at a couple of open portfolios at his desk when Andrea walked in. He looked up at her and smiled. He was in his forties, dark eyes hidden behind glasses, moderate in behaviour and generally easy to work with. 

Hey, Andrea! You left quite an impression yesterday. 

Hey, Simon! I don’t know what you’re talking about. 

Mr Kaarlonen, the silent Overboard representative from the meeting yesterday called earlier this morning to say he liked your ideas and wants to know more. You remember him, right? 

Andrea’s stomach instantly tied into a knot after hearing that name. - Yes, I do. I’d rather you found someone else to work with him. 

Why? - Simon looked puzzled. - This could be a great opportunity for you to make new business contacts. I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but he might become the next Mayor. Why not working with him now, to make bonds for the future? 

If it was just her, and just the harassment part, she would’ve told Simon straight away why she didn’t like Markus. Simon would probably make up an excuse for her. Andrea definitely would not have worked with him even if Simon insisted, if it was just about her. But, there was Marko as well. She couldn’t explain Simon everything without talking about Marko, and, honestly, she didn’t want Simon to know that story. It was too awkward to be shared with a boss, no matter how sensible he was. This situtation resembled the one when she was weighing her options at that gas station, in the kidnap night, when she realised her best shot was not to run away from Marko but get back to him. She didn’t like that situation, and she doesn’t like this one, either. But now she has a partner – Marko. The one she wanted to run away from then is helping her against the one who she wants to run away from now. And these two were friends, a lifetime away. Life sure has fun with us, moving us around like chess pieces on a chessboard. 

I don’t like politicians. And I don’t like he was even there yesterday. But, sure, I’ll work with him – Andrea replied, managing to even fake a smile at the end. 

Back at her desk, Andrea was not thrilled about this. Last night, Marko told her that the best course of action would be to avoid any contact with Markus, but if that turns out to be impossible, and Markus is quite good at setting traps like that, she should keep him informed on every last detail. Marko was clearly holding back something else last night, but he did tell her to avoid staying alone with Markus. Business meetings can be tricky, too, but she must do whatever it takes not to be alone with him again. Now, more than ever, Andrea and Marko need to stick together. 

An hour later Andrea received an email from Markus, where he asked if she could change some sentences in the introduction part. What could he possibly know about it, Andrea wondered, but played along. Maybe he had someone explaining him what to write. Never mind, that wasn’t what she needed to worry about. Appearances can be deceiving, and whatever he wrote in these strictly business mails was not what he really was after. Calm down, Andrea, you can fake it some more. Play along. Maybe you’ll even hear or find out something interesting about him, something useful to Marko. But as cool as she tried to be, her stomach was still in a knot. 

*****

She has just come home when she heard a doorbell ringing. A postal service delivery. She didn’t see who it was from on the wrapping and the delivery boy didn’t know who sent her a little package. She signed receiving it and closed the door behind her. 

While she was unwrapping it she had a feeling she wouldn’t like it. It was a plush, purple jewellery box. Andrea’s eyebrows went up in disbelief. She paused before opening it. Only one person mentioned jewellery these days. She opened it. No mistake there. A silver chain, with two shiny black gems. She didn’t want to touch it, and closed the box with trembling hands.

‘Marko, I just got the silver chain. Can you come over?’ - She texted. 

‘I’m coming’ - he replied. 

Life doesn’t run a clear course, not at all, Andrea thought to herself. But if it wasn’t for this creepy Markus, Marko would still be avoiding her.


	39. Counting the touches

Marko dropped what he was doing at Jaska’s shelter and came as soon as he could. Olli has written him down Andrea’s address back when he came to visit her, but Marko just shoved it in his wallet at that moment, ignoring Olli’s suggestion to go see her. As he was climbing up the stairs in her building, which was just two blocks away from his own building, he had the strangest feeling. He was about to knock at her door, and she was about to open it, as if they were a normal couple… as if he was hers and she was his… uncomfortably aware that they were anything but a normal couple, given the way they met and the things they went through in this short time since they have met. They have actually met just four times. He felt as if he was a kid before doing an important test at school. Can you get so anxious about meeting someone you have seen just four times? 

He raised a hand and rang the doorbell. Light steps could be heard on the other side of the door. He swallowed, hoping she won’t notice how tense he was. 

By the look on Andrea’s face when she opened the door and let him in he could see she was at least as equally tense as he was. She looked at him just for a second and looked away. He heard her locking the door after him and he unzipped his jacket. All of a sudden Andrea turned to him, looking down, without a word, and buried her face onto his chest, sliding her arms under his jacket in a hug, taking comfort. Marko startled at first, inhaling in surprise, his eyes widening, mouth opening, arms freezing on sides of his body, not understanding what was happening. Quickly he regained his posture hugging her, too. Andrea couldn’t see that he closed his mouth, but kept blinking for a couple of moments. 

Andrea wasn’t really afraid of anything when she got the chain, but she simply felt overpowered and tired. She has spent office hours exchanging emails with Markus. Strictly formal emails, but still creepy, knowing who they were from. When she did get home, to her safety zone, when she let her guard down, she received a reminder of Markus. Why was he so hung up on Marko? College days were long over, why was he so persistent in gaining on him? She didn’t know what sort of comfort Marko could provide her, but when she saw him, she felt a sudden urge to be hugged by him. So, they stood in a silent hug in her hallway for two minutes. She quietly enjoyed in his warmth, smelling his fragrance which, somehow, seemed to be relaxing her. 

And Marko was still confused, his body calm but his mind racing. Could it be that she trusted him so much to think he can ease her pain, in this world that’s gone insane? Was he so special to her? He yearned to define his life. Would she be interested in being his partner?… How come she was so special to him?…

She broke the hug and led him by the hand – he startled when he felt her hand slipping into his - to the living room and that is when Marko realised that their living rooms were almost the same. Similar furniture, similarly placed. And books, they were everywhere. She had even more books. 

Andrea saw him stare confusedly. - Our places are almost identical. My thought exactly when I first entered your place. But, I was distracted by your… how shall I put it, strange and ignoring welcome – she finished with a dark little smile. - What can I get you?  


I can’t really stay long… that Cola on the table seems fine.

Andrea brought two glasses, filling them to the top. They said ‘cheers’ and sipped. Next to the glasses there was a jewellery box. 

Is that the chain? - Marko asked, sitting to the sofa. Andrea nodded. Marko opened the box, not taking the chain out. - Well, it looks good. 

Marko! - Andrea rolled her eyes and gave a surprised laughter, hitting Marko mockingly on his shoulder. She realised that she immediately felt slightly better. Marko realised that he was counting how many times she has touched him since he got there. The hug. The leading by the hand. This mock hit. She touched him three times. Who knew Andrea was such a toucher. Then he remembered that she was very busy touching Jaska everywhere when they danced at the Halloween party. She was making him jealous back then, of course, but why would she…? 

Marko! - He suddenly heard her voice. He drifted away. He looked at her. 

What are you thinking about? Your mind is somewhere else. 

He felt awkward, grateful that she couldn’t read his mind. He couldn’t tell her that he was thinking about her touching him. - Sorry. I… - But then again, he could try to confide in her and place his faith in chance she would meet him half way. - I was thinking about your dance with Jaska – he looked at her sideways.

Oh, Marko – Andrea rolled her eyes again – It was really just to… to make you angry. 

Well, it worked. I run out to find you. - They shared a knowing, conspiracy smile. 

Andrea, I gotta go now. Don’t worry too much about Markus. Keep in touch. - As he was getting up, he, once again, noticed her looking at him in a way that he couldn’t understand nor decipher, a longing gaze of light and darkness, each of them fighting to win over. He leaned for a kiss, her hand meeting his collar and pulling him gently down. This was the fourth time she was touching him. Not that he complained, but there was something unsettling in her behaviour. He shook it off as they kissed. Kissing with her was like talking the language of touches. He felt her desire, her doubt, her trying to suppress her feelings. Why would she try to suppress her feelings? 

He was thinking about her for the rest of the day, finding it hard to concentrate on things that were urgent. Why would she try to suppress her feelings? Was he such an obviously bad choice that she was trying to get him out of her mind? He wished he knew what was going on inside her head.


	40. Observing an old friend

In the next couple of days Andrea was busy with preparations for the publication, and she didn’t see Marko. Finally, the day arrived. The publication speech and party were held at the spacious and well-equipped conference room in Overboard headquarters. This was the first time Andrea entered that building, even though she walked past it many times. It was just another organisation central, only with an added layer of creepiness due to its connection to Markus. Simon showed her their seats in the third row and they sat. Markus was sitting in the front row, surrounded by the biggest names of the industry. He noticed them as they were taking their seats, and nodded. Simon nodded. Andrea paused for a second, and nodded, too. Let’s keep the pretence. It’s not anybody else’s business to know what she thinks of him. 

*****

Markus noticed them come. Great. He made a call to one of the technicians to do his little thing. Now he can wait, because act two is about to start. 

*****

After greetings by a host, Overboard CEO took the floor to give a speech. He summarised Overboard’s story from rags to riches, adding a few personal plots, and went into details about its greatest achievements and their importance to Alamo and the whole region. Andrea noticed a slight commotion in the first row among the people sitting around Markus. Markus stood up and went somewhere, while others seemed to have relaxed. 

***** 

One of the directors received a text from his assistant that there was something weird going on with servers. Markus was sitting right next to him, and saw when the man read the text and frowned.

Is something wrong?- he asked. 

Hm, probably nothing, but now is not the good time to have any issues.

Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it. I know one of your staff, he’s really good. I’ll call him. You’re next to speak, focus on that - and with a friendly pat on the back, and a reliable smile on his face, he arranged for Marko to be called to come. 

***** 

Little after one p.m. Marko was called to fix another malfunction at Overboard. Isn’t there that promotion thing right now? He’ll see what it is when he gets there. But as he was entering the building two security guys approached him and asked him to follow them. 

Why? I came here to fix something. Look. I have an ID. Look. - Marko frowned and held up his ID. 

Please, sir. Do not make an issue. If you would just follow us...

None of this makes any sense, Marko thought, alarmed and worried, as he was ushered to the twelfth floor. He doesn’t even go to this floor when he fixes servers, they are below the ground. When they went around a corner he saw a big conference room behind the glass door. Why was he there? They stopped in front of the door 17, with names of two of the most important people in Overboard. He saw them in hallways, but he hardly ever said more than hello to them. One of the security guys opened the door and entered first, and another one motioned him to enter. Marko stopped walking the second he saw a familiar face behind a desk. It was his old college friend. A little part of Marko was almost expecting to see Markus, but nevertheless it was really uncomfortable seeing him, there, for real. Marko quickly regained his calm posture and walked on. 

Hello, Marko! Please, have a seat! How long has it been… ten years? - Markus smiled one of his icy smiles and gestured him to sit on one of two chairs on his side of the desk. Security guys stood just behind Marko. The room was darkened, the blinds were on, and there was a desk lamp on Markus’s desk, illuminating not much more than just Marko and Markus. It was like in an old movie, when the police interrogates the bad guy, but with slightly reversed roles here. Markus had such a taste for drama, Marko remembered. 

Markus was observing Marko from his chair. Scruffy and messed up as always. He was still wearing hoodies, a dark grey one could be seen under his black winter jacket. Grey or dark green scarf, as ragged as his owner. He might have picked it up from one of Jaska’s homeless guys, Markus grinned to himself. Marko’s hair was short, but mussed. And his eyes and that facial expression, it was like travelling in time. He didn’t age a day. He was still that clever but awkward kid he was back at the college. 

Marko did his fair share of observing the man across the desk. Markus was in a fine, dark grey suit made of some vaguely shiny fabric, with a crisp white shirt under it. Freshly shaven, sleek, elegant as always. The same smile. Was his smile always so cold? Yes, yes it was, I just didn’t give it any thought, Marko thought. Still the same puppet master he was back at the college. 


	41. Darkest secrets

A security guy leaned down to Andrea in the conference room, telling her discreetly that she is needed in the room 17.

Why?

I can’t tell, Ms. Will you, please, follow me?

This was so strange, being singled out like that. Andrea didn’t want to make a scene, so she got up and followed him to the door. He let her enter by herself and went back. 

For the last time, I had nothing to do with that! - She heard as she opened the door. The voice sounded familiar. She noticed two men standing, their backs turned to her. They quickly turned when they heard someone enter, and parted a little, just enough for Andrea to see none other than Marko sitting there, his eyes widening in disbelief as he turned to see her and Markus sitting across the desk, giving her a smug, satisfied smile. 

Please, Ms Blake, have a seat - Markus gestured. Andrea sat down on an empty seat next to Marko, glancing at him. He seemed pissed, and worried. What was going on?  


As I was saying before Ms Blake joined us, all traces lead back to you. Storming into classified documentation is not a serious offence, but is offence nevertheless. We can call police to see what will happen.

Nothing will happen because I didn’t do it!

Well, you can explain it to them. But once they see you have a previous record... - Andrea knew Markus was talking about those joints, hoping Marko will keep his cool - combined with documents showing you were treated due to your issues with… what was it, Marko - oh, his eyes were getting eerie, what the hell was going on? - yes, psychotic episodes?… Police is there to protect and to serve… What do you think, Marko, who will they serve?

Marko stared blankly at Markus, forgetting to blink, forgetting to breathe. It felt like drowning in the dry. Markus has just grabbed his darkest secrets and ripped them out into the daylight. And he did it in front of one person who Marko would believe enough to share these secrets with, but later, in time, not violently and prematurely like this. 

Andrea fixed his gaze to Markus, desperately trying not to look at Marko. If that was her in his place, she would see every look as a judging one. She must not look in his direction, or else he might think she is disappointed in him. Marko was crushed to pieces, and with the threat of police coming, Andrea had to improvise something, and make it good. 

I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and one more disorder nine years ago. So, what’s your point? - Andrea crossed her arms and confronted Markus, never casting her eyes off him. Markus was taken aback with this blunt statement. He raised his eyebrows, not wanting to offend Andrea directly. She used moments of his confusion to go on speaking. 

Went to see a shrink. Took one medication for a year. Shared it only with my closest ones. Nobody noticed a god damn thing. I kept working, living like before. A completely functional individual. People tell me how smart I am all the time. They know nothing about it. - Andrea was almost spitting the words out, looking angrily at Markus. - And charming. I’m also very charming, when I want to be – she finished, eyeing him up and down with a frown on her face. 

She hoped Marko heard every word of it, because these words were a hidden consolation and comfort for him.


	42. Animal sidekick

Well, Ms Blake, I’ll keep your little confession on my mind. On something else now. I hope you like the little present I sent you? It was a token of good will – Markus’s focus was now completely on her. 

Yes; I received it. Thank you. The piece is really extraordinary. - She said in a flat voice. It was hard not to lose nerve here. Calm down. Play it wise. 

I hope to see it on you, soon – Markus went on. 

Oh, I don’t think so. - Andrea suddenly knew just what to say – But I showed it to Marko last night. 

The tourmaline at the end does sit really low – Marko added in his seductive, melodious voice. Andrea looked at him. He was looking in front of him, and then he turned his head to her, looking up at her and giving her a wink.

Marko! - She exclaimed, hiding her face with her hands as if trying to hide a blush. - Markus doesn’t need to hear that! 

Markus gasped. She showed his present to Marko?! Was she naked then?! Did they make love?! Was she wearing his chain the whole bloody time?!

Lovely chain, indeed. I thought about you a couple of times that night – Andrea added in a dreamy voice, looking somewhere past Markus. 

You, too? Aw, we both did – Marko smiled and took Andrea’s right hand with his left one. She looked at him happily, as in love. With they eyes locked and hands in a grip, there’s nothing they couldn’t do together, she suddenly felt. 

But, Andrea? - Marko said – We’re gonna have to do something about those tourmalines. When I think about it, that chain is awesome, but the gems remind me too much of Markus’s eyes. Creepy stuff. We can poke them out, and put blue ones. - He smirked to himself, but looked Markus in the eye – Hell, they remind me of your bald head! 

Markus was shocked by this open mockery. Marko wasted no time. 

Hey, Andrea? Did you watch the Smurfs as a kid? 

Yeah, why?

Imagine Markus in a black robe. He’s a spit image of Gargamel! - Marko and Andrea started sniggering like two mischievous kids. 

Gargamel! - One security guy gave a quick laugh. Markus was quickly loosing his upper hand here.

He had that cat, as a sidekick, right? - Andrea added. 

Marko suddenly laughed out loud, a laughter sincerer than the previous one. - Hell, Markus! Remember that stray cat we used to feed at college? Patches? Fuck, you did have your real life animal sidekick! 

Get out! - Markus yelled in wild rage and jumped to his feet, swaying with his arm and pushing things off the desk in a violent sway. He couldn’t stand a second more, with these two mocking him so directly and obviously. - Get the fuck out of here! Both of you! Get out! - He kept shouting, trembling all over his body. 

No need to shout, Gargamel! - Andrea shouted back. Marko grabbed her by the hand and they stood up, slowlier than it would be expected. They didn’t want to look as if they were being chased away. The guards moved aside. 

Marko turned around when he passed the security guys. Markus was still looking at them furiously - Yeah, no need to shout… Meow! - and he made a cat-like attack gesture with his right hand, his fingers half-curled and spread apart. 

Get the fuck out! - Markus went berserk, thumbing his fists on the desk. 

Andrea grabbed Marko by his shoulder and they went out the door. Nobody was following them. As if previously agreed, they took the first few steps through the hallway slowly, in a forcedly relaxed manner, but when they saw no one around, they paced up, their steps quickly turning into full running to the lift.


	43. What makes a person remain at somebody’s side, for better or worse?

A foggy November day greeted them as they went out of the building. It drizzled and it was quite cold but it felt like walking on sunshine after that claustrophobic darkened room. Marko bent down, catching breath, leaning hands on knees. Andrea stood still, her hands locked on top of her head, trying to calm down and breathe more evenly. There weren’t many people on the street and nobody paid attention to two people who seemed as if they were running moments ago. 

Marko turned his head up, looking at Andrea sideways and gave a little laugh. - You were good up there. Talking… running… We should do this more often. 

Thanks, but no thanks – Andrea instantly replied rolling her eyes and smirking. - No more Markus in a closed space for me, thank you. 

Why? Should we not count this as our second date? 

Andrea laughed and spread her hands in disbelief. - Marko! 

Marko stood up, a grateful look in his sparkling eyes. - I just love it when you do that. - He came one step closer, closing the distance between them. 

Andrea was confused. - You love it when I do what? - She noticed the last sentence was softer than the previous ones, as well as she noticed the enigmatic, meaningful look as he drew closer. 

I love it when you say my name. I love what it sounds like when you say it. - His look was so tense that Andrea felt dizzy for a second. He was so close she could feel his breath on her face. - And thank you. 

For what? - It was as if he was deliberately playing with her, giving her hints and allusions, and avoiding clear answers. But she didn’t really mind, not at that moment, waiting to see what would happen next. 

Another quick smile, loaded with different emotions, followed. - For everything – Marko cupped her face with both hands and lowered her face all the way to hers, until his forehead rested on her forehead. Andrea watched him close his eyes in that movement. It was a silent act of complete surrender and trust. 

That touch felt unbelievably personal for Andrea. Everything around them came to a standstill, her vision tunnelled, noises muffled. Orbiting around each other, they were united in silent resistance. 

Marko was sure Andrea’s thoughts and feelings for him were the same as they were before she heard his secrets violently exposed in that forsaken room. She was still there, mentally and physically, she didn’t look at him differently, she didn’t despise him, she didn’t pity him. If she wanted to run away, this was her chance, but she was there for him, with him. 

He felt overexposed in that room, much worse than when he took his mask off on that masquerade and she watched his painted face as if she was looking inside his mind. She could’ve run away then, as well, but she chose to stay. On that particular instance she was the one looking for him. 

And following that train of thought he inevitably went back to the night of the kidnap when he was wounded and weak. That was the first chance when she could’ve ran away screaming for her life, literally, but she didn’t. 

What makes a person remain at somebody’s side, for better or worse? 

He opened his eyes and realised she was probably watching him the whole time with those blue note sapphire eyes, full of light. He smiled, and she smiled back. His hands went down to her neck and for a second she closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of that gentle touch. 

Marko, I gotta go back, my boss is still up there. 

Yeah, ok, just tell me one thing. You mentioned struggle with depression… and other things. Was that the truth?

Andrea knew there was no point lying to Marko. - No, I made it up. I knew some of your story from Olli and Jaska… the part about joints… and I hated that psycho using that against you. So I countered it with my fictional story. 

Marko gave another enigmatic smile. - It was very elaborate and convincing. 

Why, thank you! 

He raised his hands as if disappointed. - But it kinda ruined you for me now. I don’t know if I can date a girl who hasn’t been to a shrink.  
Marko!

And there she was again, saying his name, Marko thought, as if hugging him with her voice. - Yeah. It spooks me. You’re just too normal and functional. 

I went to see a therapist. It’s got to count for something.

I don’t know… A therapist can’t medicate you, it doesn’t go into your health records… It’s not the same…

I’ll ask Tiia to prescribe me something. 

Nah. She can’t do that. I already tried. 

They both giggled. 

I really gotta go. - Andrea said. He was standing in the light drizzle, messy, scruffy, restless, and in such a need of comfort, she thought. She hated having to leave him now. Words should fail here, something else was needed. She stepped forward and hugged him around his chest without a single word. He stooped a little and let his head find support on her shoulder, hugging her back. 

Then she broke the hug and looked him in the eye. - Hey, you know where I live now. My door’s always open for you. Just bring a bottle… and show me your dance moves. - Before Marko even realised what she was saying, she took advantage of his confusion to pull his head down for a quick, hot kiss, after which she winked at him, turned around and walked away, going back into the Overboard building. 

Marko’s mind raced like mad. Not that she didn’t go cold on him, she showed him an extra tender and soft side of hers, cradling him in comfort just because she sensed he could use some. If Jaska or Olli told him about having such experience with a girl, and asked him what he thought it was, he knew what he would say. It was love. He exhaled and smiled in surprise.


	44. Other ways to approach Marko

The following Saturday Markus didn’t want to leave anything to the case. There was no point in adding pressure to Andrea, not at this moment. She is off the hook for now. Every time he remembered that embarrassing episode at the publication, he felt pure rage consuming him from the inside. It was like fire burning within, impossible to approach, impossible to extinguish. No. The simple truth was that at the moment she was expecting another attack and was too tough to be broken. There are two other ways to approach Marko. 

Marko was still close to his college buddies, Jaska and Olli. He remembered them quite vividly, because they all used to hang out together in a bigger group for a while. 

Jaska never seemed like he had any goal in his life, as far as Markus could remember, he spent most of his time chasing girls and partying. In fact, if any of that group was to stray aside and get involved in petty criminal, Markus’s money would be on Jaska. However, he turned out to become a respectable citizen, running a shelter for homeless people downtown. No record whatsoever, not even a parking ticket. They used to drink together and Jaska would tell jokes, but Markus always knew that deep down Jaska didn’t like him. His true friendship was reserved for Marko and Olli, and that is where his loyalty used to lay. 

Olli was destined to succeed in anything he dedicated himself to. He was a hard working student who was the first of them all to finish the college and get a job. He was always very serious. Not that he couldn’t relax or be funny; he could, and he didn’t need a drop of alcohol or anything else to goof around. But Markus noticed that Olli goofed more when he thought Markus wasn’t around. And as Markus and Marko started spending more and more time, Markus started noticing Olli staring at him. Markus could swear he could see rage in Olli’s pale blue eyes. That animosity was barely hidden and almost provoking. Olli probably sensed how hard I was fucking with Marko’s mind, knowing he couldn’t do a thing to stop it, Markus smirked cruelly. 

He called Miika and Ivana to his office. He showed them pictures of Jaska and Olli, handing them the files with some additional information, like addresses and short background and explaining in detail what needs to be done. 

He’s kinda cute – Ivana said, studying Olli’s photo. - But, I must remind you that if you want the whole package, you should call Tatjana. 

No, not Tatjana. I need you for this one – Markus replied. - You’re more of his type. Chew him up and spit him out.

He is cute. - Her lips widened into a grin, her dark eyes glistening on her pale face framed with unruly, black hair. 

Even better. Take him home, do whatever you feel like doing, but rip his heart out and make him watch you crush it to pieces. 

Miika had a question, his blue eyes calm and focused behind glasses. - How do you think this Jaska guy will react when I make a contact? 

It’s hard to say – Markus said. - Go slowly in the beginning. But once you find your angle give him the mindfuck he won’t forget. 

What are the odds of turning Olli over? - Ivana asked. 

Close to nothing. He’s extremely loyal to Marko. 

Ivana’s body language showed she didn’t understand. She was to try to make Olli come to their side, but that was already supposed to fail. - So, what am I doing then?… Are we trying to get him, or not?

Markus sighed, frustrated that he needs to explain everything so clearly. - Olli is the greatest support Marko has had for years. Be very direct about what you want. Use your charm. But that is not the real goal. Make him interested in you. Show him you are interested in him. He is reserved with girls, I doubt he will resist you tempting him. Make him fall in love with you, despite all odds. And then you crush him. A crushed Olli can’t go back to being Marko’s support, if he is too busy putting the pieces of his heart back together. 

You don’t want me to seduce Jaska, right? - Miika scratched his head, with a light frown. 

No. Jaska is different, and needs a different approach. Show him you can shut down the shelter with a single phone call. Show him all those homeless bastards can lose the one place where they can have a warm meal or wash themselves. 

Miika rolled his eyes and scratched the light brown stubble of his beard. - What is it with you and that Marko? 

Markus didn’t answer straight away. - Some may call it sibling rivalry, but we are not brothers. Some may call it peer pressure. I want to see him lose Olli and Jaska. Then I’ll pressure Andrea, and he’ll lose her, too. He was afraid he would stay alone. I can bring his fears to life. - He paused again. It seemed like he was already watching it all unfold, like in a movie, gloomy satisfaction in his eyes. - And then Marko will crawl back to me. And I’ll be waiting. Some may call it poetic justice.


	45. Offer you can’t refuse

The next patient would be a young woman who has trouble breathing, a nurse informed Olli. He told her to let the patient in. Olli was finishing typing the previous patient’s entry on a computer, so the patient said hello and climbed on the bed behind him before he even gave her a look. 

He stood up and turned around, greeting the patient and standing right in front of her. She was petite, with pretty intense dark eyes and long curly black hair. She was happily dangling her feet off the bed and smiling at him, her hands supporting her next to her knees. That’s odd, Olli thought, but ignored it. She didn’t even unbutton her long, golden brown winter jacket. 

I’m gonna need you to remove your jacket so I can auscultate your lungs. - Olli reached for the stethoscope around his neck. 

She just kept dangling her feet. When he comes to think about it, there was nothing wrong with her breathing. Nothing at all. That’s… odd… again. 

Actually, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want you to listen to my breathing.

Olli just froze in the place, holding a stethoscope half the way to her chest. - May I know why?

She looked at him from head to toe, tilting her head to the side. When her gaze returned to his eyes, she just smiled: - Come to the dark side with me. 

I’m sorry, what? - Olli put the stethoscope down on his desk and crossed his hands, raising his eyebrows. 

She repeated her previous statement. 

Are you in a cult? Or some multi-level marketing scam? - His eyes shrank – Did Jaska put you up to this? 

Jaska? No, not Jaska. I’ve heard the name, but no. - Olli made no reply, so she felt a little irritated, but she wasn’t about to give up. - The man I work for is interested in having you on his side. From what I’ve gathered so far, his side may seem like the dark side to you… now… but he wants you, nevertheless. You two know each other, and have some mutual friends. 

Olli was intrigued, but didn’t like how this started to uncoil. She probably expects him to ask questions about that boss of hers. Sure he’s interested, but no, he won’t give her the pleasure of letting her know that. That way she was looking at him - he took a slightly deeper breath to stay calm - should not make him lose his control in this weird situation. Bright practice light made him notice light brown freckles across her nose. He almost smiled because he liked girls with freckles, but the smile never really formed on his lips. And there was something about her eyes… her eyes were brown, but her left eye was light brown, and her right eye was dark brown. Such a strange case of heterochromia. So intriguing, from a medical point of view, of course. He almost smiled again, but he didn’t.

Ivana never cast her eyes off Olli’s eyes. He was so stubborn, she figured. She made all these hints on her boss, but Olli kept playing uninterested. He was just standing there, not saying anything, refusing to react in any way. This is going nowhere, she thought. She dropped the bomb. - It’s Markus. I probably don’t need to say his last name. 

Olli inhaled sharply, his face turning from cool ignoring to pure detest and hate. When he looked her in the eye with that changed expression, it almost felt uncomfortable. But this was not a new situation for her. 

I must ask you to leave the practice. - He said elegantly, but coldly. 

O Olli! That’s no way to treat a lady… Not even a lady from the dark side – Her facial expression turned mock-dramatic at the end of the sentence, as she was hopping from the bed. When she landed on her feet she realised she was standing quite close to Olli. Even better than she expected. She raised her head and looked at him once again. - Think about my proposal. 

I don’t have to. - Olli realised they were standing very close to each other and took one step back. 

See you soon, Olli T. - She said playfully and headed for the door. 

I don’t think so. - He said looking at her from behind. 

‘All work and no play makes Olli a dull boy’ - She turned at the door, with almost a clown frown, which suddenly turned into a wide grin and left.

Olli just stood in the middle of the practice, not knowing what to think. 

The nurse went in to inform him on the next patient. - Jenny, what was the last patient’s name? 

Oh, I can’t really read it – the nurse started apologising as she looked in her record – The first name is, maybe, Ivana, but the last name… I don’t know… it ends in ‘vic’, I think. 

Ok, thank you. The next patient can come in – Olli said. Ivana with the last name ending in ‘vic’, who works for Markus. It will not be hard to track her down. Besides, he had the weirdest feeling that they would meet again soon. She did say it, after all.


	46. Just doing my job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some strong language here. Jaska. No need to explain further.

The meal time was almost over and the clamour of voices and racket of cutlery was fading in the shelter’s dining room. His guys, as he used to call them, would bring him back the trays, thanking for the meal and chatting. He noticed a new guy sitting at one of the empty tables in the back. He was surrounded with other guys during the meal, but now he stayed behind. Jaska stopped sorting the trays and dishes and went to welcome him. 

Hey! I don’t remember seeing you around – He said with a smile as he was sitting down across the table. He reached out a hand for a handshake. - I’m Jaska.

Miika – Said the scruffy homeless guy, shaking his hand. Longish strands of light brown hair were falling across his face. His hair looked clean. 

Miika? That sounds like a name from my old country – Jaska replied. 

Because it is – The guy smiled answering in Finnish. The rest of the conversation was in Finnish. 

So, what brings you here? 

Miika looked around, straightening his back a little. - Quite a nice place you have here. I spoke with some of these homeless people. They really appreciate what you are doing. 

Jaska’s full cheeks spread into a warm smile. This shelter was his baby. Every day he saw that what he did actually mattered. He was glowing with pride. That glow was not unnoticed by Miika. Still, he didn’t feel much regret for what he was about to say. 

It would be such a shame if I had to close it down. 

Jaska just blinked. Did he just hear that homeless man threatening he would close it down? 

Nothing personal. My boss sent me to tell you that. Still, it doesn’t have to end that way. 

The thought of his life’s work disappearing down the drain and leaving all those people back on the street hit Jaska with its full force. They needed the food, some place to spend a couple of hours feeling like the men they used to be, a sense of dignity and respect they were getting here. 

I said it doesn’t have to end that way. You have a choice. Yo can come work for my boss. Markus Kaarlonen. 

Jaska was completely overwhelmed. His gut was twisting and knotting inside. What the hell was going on? - C’mon, dude! Don’t do it! It’s not fair! What did I ever do to you?

It’s nothing personal, Jaska. I’m just doing my job. 

It’s fucking personal to me! Don’t do it! ‘Just doing my job’ is no fucking excuse! 

Will you come work for Markus? 

Fuck Markus! And fuck you, too! Get the fuck out! - Jaska shouted.

Miika didn’t need to hear those shouts again. Jaska was taking this really personally. He could lose control quickly and Miika wasn’t about to wait for it to happen. - Really, quite a nice place. - He said, getting up. 

You’re fucking enjoying this! 

No, not at all. I’m just doing my job. - Miika shrugged his shoulders. - I’ll tell Markus what you said. And I’ll come back in a couple of days. Maybe you’ll give me a different answer than. Think about these people here. 

Fuck you, you bloody robot! 

Jaska’s chin trembled as he watched Markus’s goon leave the room. He shook uncontrollably. He was alone in the room, he could let his guard down. His eyes welled up, frustration and the feeling of being powerless rising up inside. He buried his face in his hands. Markus. He just couldn’t let go, could he? 

***** 

That Jaska character got so upset, Miika thought before he started his car. Miika felt uncomfortable around people whose emotions ran high like that. He couldn’t remember what he cared about so much in his life. Or who he cared about so much, for that matter. Maybe way back, when he was a kid. Weird man, that Jaska. He called Miika a robot. Miika could understand the resentment and anger in such a situation. Yes, Jaska could definitely see Miika as a robot, while he could definitely see Jaska as a loose cannon. Opposite sides on the spectre. Well, what can you do. Miika hoped Jaska would have a different answer next time, for everybody’s sake.


	47. Inspecting from a distance, inspecting from the inside

Something Jaska had said stuck into Miika’s mind. Jaska said that a phrase ‘just doing my job’ was not an excuse. Obviously, Jaska thought that Miika needed some excuse for doing what he did. But, what did he do? He conveyed Markus’s message to Jaska. He was really just doing his job, but somehow that Jaska seemed to hold it against Miika on a personal level. Miika’s logical and practical mind could not solve this, no matter how hard he tried. Then again, Miika was aware that he was slightly different than most people. It was not like he didn’t let his emotions cloud his judgement; his emotions were simply to weak to cloud anything. Even this Jaska saw right through him calling him a robot after just a few minutes spent in conversation. Miika was used to such comments, and he understood them. The one single thing he wasn’t used to was feeling anything after hearing those comments. He didn’t like them, but he wasn’t hurt by them, either. So, why was it that this time being called a robot made him feel defeated? 

Markus told him to go back to Jaska on Thursday. Nothing was said about the other days. So, on Sunday afternoon Miika found himself looking at Jaska’s shelter for homeless people from across the street. Homeless guys went in, individually or in small groups, ragged, some of them with physical disabilities, some of looking as if they had mental issues. Miika was wearing his normal bland clothes, looking like a rock star next to these unlucky beggars. He couldn’t imagine living like that. He also couldn’t imagine why anyone would choose to be surrounded with people like that. It’s not that he judged; judging is a feeling, too. He literally couldn’t imagine. 

Some people were already coming out, smiling, talking to each other, patting each other on the back or shoulder. They were smiling. Happy smiles. Miika knew they shared more than just a meal in there, they shared company and a short time of relief. In ten, fifteen minutes he stood there he saw a lot of smiles. Not everyone smiled, but a good majority did. He had regular meals, warm clothes, a good apartment, a decent life working in the city administration, but these homeless people smiled more than he did in how long? In the last few months? A whole year? Miika honestly couldn’t remember. 

He went back the next day, on Monday. 

Hey, Jaska, there’s a guy observing the shelter from the other side of the street. Jerry says he was there yesterday, too – Billy told Jaska as he was taking his food tray. 

Really? I’ll go see what he wants.

Do you want me to go with you? 

No, thanks – Jaska said, taking off his apron. When he passed a window he recognised the slender figure of a man standing right across. It was that weird man Markus sent. What does he want? Jaska opened the door and leaned on the doorway, arms crossed. That man startled a little, but stayed in his spot. Jaska nodded. The man nodded back. 

Did you come for your answer? - Jaska shouted across the street.

No – Came a reply.

Did you come for a meal? 

The man stayed silent.

Do you wanna come inside? 

The man shrugged his shoulders and crossed the street. Jaska gestured him in, letting him come inside first and closed the door behind him. He showed him a place at a table next to where the food was served. That way he can keep an eye on him. 

He don’t look no homeless to me – Jerry told Jaska, pointing a finger at Miika. Jaska grinned, saying nothing. Miika looked at Jerry, motionless, quiet. - He a broker? Bankar? Real-estate agent? - Jerry was persistent and loud, evoking some dirty looks at Miika’s direction and Jaska wanted to stop him in time. 

He’s one of our donors, actually, checking to see if everything works fine here – Jaska said, eliciting excitement around that table and throughout the room. 

God bless you, man – Jerry said, emotions running high in him. - If it wasn’t for this fine man here, I’d drop dead in the cold long ago. Jaska give food, give clothes on my back… - He grabbed Miika around the shoulders in a strange hug and almost started sobbing. Miika was utterly puzzled, looking at Jerry and then at Jaska. Why would Jaska invent such a lie? He met Jaska’s gaze and Jaska winked at him, confusing him even more. 

Cheers to Miika! - Jaska raised his voice. 

Cheers! - Echoed through a small dining room. 

Miika looked around. All faces were turned to meet him and greet him. He was praised for something he didn’t do, and it felt amazing. He felt. He felt a lot.


	48. Nobody needs a doctor with a runny nose

Ivana was due to go back to Olli for a final answer on Thursday, but she wanted to make the most of the days before Thursday, so she went to prey on Olli on Monday afternoon. The previous day she read on the practice door that the office hours were nine to five. Presuming that Olli was indeed a dedicated medic, she assumed he would not leave work before four thirty, so she started strolling at a bus stop near his practice at four thirty. There were enough people there to hide her if he gets too close. It was very cold and she soon regretted this outside stalking but she didn’t have a back-up plan. Next time she can sit somewhere, but now she had to endure it. And there he was shortly after five, the afternoon giving way to the evening. She circled around an older woman so he passed not a meter from her not noticing her. She let him open the distance between them, and then she went after him, smiling the whole time. 

Olli walked into a nearby supermarket to buy some groceries. He was choosing bananas when he heard a female voice somewhere behind him. - I’d choose oranges or lemons. - He ignored it, thinking the woman was speaking to someone else, even though he wasn’t aware of anyone else except the two of them there. Maybe she was speaking on her cellular. - It’s a flu season. Nobody needs a doctor with a runny nose.

Ok, that definitely sounded like it was directed at him. He turned around and saw Ivana, carrying oranges in her basket and offering him a paper bag with oranges inside. His eyebrows shot up but he didn’t take the bag. 

I picked them myself. They’re heavy and juicy. 

No response from Olli, no wonder, Ivana thought to herself. She placed the oranges meant for Olli into her own basket and stood there, wondering how to take this to the next level. But before she could do anything, Olli said ‘Goodbye, Ivana’, turned around and left, leaving her with mouth wide open and quite insulted. 

He stood in a line. Fine. She’ll stand right behind him. 

Olli couldn’t believe when he saw her almost running around an older man to take a place behind him. He decided he would just ignore her. There. Did she stand a little closer than she should have?… He can’t turn around and check. Never mind. Almost at the cash register now.   
The moment he placed his things on the conveyor belt she stood shoulder to shoulder to him placing down her two bags of oranges. 

Are you two together? - Asked the lady cashier. 

Yes! - Exclaimed Ivana. 

No, no. - Olli shaking his head. He moved his items little closer to the cashier. 

Ma’m, would you move behind the line on the floor, please? - Asked the cashier. Ivana moved behind, giving the woman a mean look. Olli grinned. 

He didn’t make it past the entrance when he heard someone approaching him. He kept walking out. 

Really, Olli, that’s no way to treat a lady! - Ivana managed to go past him and tried to block his way. She seemed frustrated. 

If the lady would allow me to pass… - Olli tilted the top of the imaginary hat on his head and elegantly walked past her. 

Wait! - He heard her running after him once again. And she stood in front of him. Again. - Wait. I can tell you something about Markus. - She looked at him, slightly out of breath. 

I already know he’s bad to the bone – Olli said, frustration rising in him. She was interesting, but this was a waste of time. 

No. I didn’t do it the right way. Wait for it... – She said as if she was speaking to herself, fumbling for something in her bag. She straightened up and looked him in the eye, seductively - Olli, would you like to know more? - She smiled darkly, tilting her head and producing a golden delicious from her bag, offering it to him meaningfully. - Take this apple and I’ll let you in on a secret about Markus. 

Olli felt as if her dark eyes were consuming him like two tumulous voids. He raised his eyebrows, not letting her get to him. - You’re tempting me with knowledge and an apple? Really? - She was obviously playing a game here. Why would she want to share a secret on her boss with him? This could only be a decoy for him to relax and start trusting her, so she can use him in who knows what way. She’s on Markus’s side. The dark side. 

I knew you would figure it out. Handsome and clever. So? Will you take it? 

Olli gasped in surprise. Did she just call him handsome?! You bloody idiot, pull yourself together! Don’t let her watch you with your jaw down to the floor! Walk away. Walk away! - So he said ‘Goodbye, Ivana!’ for the second time that evening. As he was passing her, she turned to him with a strange look. 

Not goodbye, Olli. See you. See you tomorrow after your work. Just like today. 

She was looking at him as he was walking away in the cold evening. Olli should’ve cracked by now. Who on earth refuses to take fruit from another person? It was almost rude, and he seemed very polite, yet, he didn’t take the oranges, and he didn’t take the apple. He rolled his eyes a couple of times, showing that this whole thing was annoying him. He was such a cutie when he rolled eyes. She couldn’t believe she was being paid to tease this guy. Best side job ever! Sometimes things were to good to be true.


	49. Little lies

A few hours later, Jaska and Olli were at Marko’s place, discussing. 

Anyway, that Miika I told you about came to the shelter today. Apparently, a guy saw him yesterday, too. - Jaska gave a short report on what happened during Miika’s visit. - Funny guy, he just stormed out at one moment. No idea why. 

Ok, so Markus is showing his muscles. He came to you. Olli, what about you? Any news on Ivana? - Marko asked Olli as he turned to face him. 

No, nothing. Maybe she shows up tomorrow. - Olli shook his head and took a sip. 

If, or more likely, when she does, call me. We need to know every move they make – Marko added. For a second he thought that Olli looked worried, but it could have been anything else. 

And what about your … moves? In the direction of Andrea? - Jaska asked, nudging Marko more forceful than people normally nudge each other. Marko gave a sour smile, but he couldn’t be mad at his lecherous, bearded friend who was already laughing one of his deep and resounding laughters. 

I’m actually thinking of taking her somewhere for a weekend. Just the two of us, a mountain cabin, none of this madness… none of you, guys – Marko replied, raising his eyebrows at Jaska when he said ‘you, guys’. - You two didn’t really choose a good time the last time we were all here… you know what I mean? 

Jaska kept on laughing, and Olli chuckled. 

I thought we interrupted you!… What does Tiia say? - Jaska asked. 

Tiia says I can make better choices now. It’s time to trust new people. And Andrea could be someone I could trust. - Marko said slowly, weighing every sentence. 

Good, good. I could’ve told you that, but good. 

I see Tiia on a regular basis. Not like you – Marko said, raising his eyebrows. 

C’mon! That’s not fair! - Jaska said mock-offended. 

Jaska, you never told us what exactly you did to fuck things up with her – Marko was persistent. 

None of your bloody business – Jaska grunted. - But Tiia is smart, and if she tells you to trust your choices, then trust your choices. What did you tell Andrea about the state of your mental health? 

Not much, but Markus was more than happy to tell her. I want to explain it better when we are alone. 

Aww… Look, Olli, our little boy wants to open up to a pretty girl – Jaska teased. - Olli, you’re quieter than usual. Is everything ok? 

Yeah, I’m just tired – Olli lied without blinking an eye. When he came here, an idea of not telling his friends about Ivana never crossed his mind. But when Marko asked him if she made any contact, he surprised himself when he denied it. He was embarrassed to tell them the details, and there he was, backing his initial lie with another one. That’s why he hated lying. He felt awful, but if he went clean and told them everything, he would seem foolish. 

He didn’t want them to know that Ivana’s modus operandi of turning him over was to seduce him. That seemed frivolous and silly. Was he so awkward that even Markus thought the best strategy to win him over was to send a pretty girl to seduce him? He was embarrassed because that strategy wasn’t completely without effect. He would not cross to the other side, but he was re-playing every Ivana’s smile, every gesture, every word in his mind over and over again. Olli knew it could be no more than just good acting on Ivana’s side, but he was so lonely all the time that he enjoyed it, fully aware of its deceptive nature. He had Marko and Jaska, and his family back in Finland, and a couple of more friends, but female companionship eluded him. This weird situation with Ivana could bring nothing but trouble, and Olli’s mind made no question about it, but he simply couldn’t resist that intoxicating feeling of being wanted.


	50. Anticipating a promising weekend

Few people like Mondays, but Andrea was not one of them. She was still emotionally drained from the last week’s dramatic events at the Overboard’s publication reception, where Markus almost called the police to take Marko away. 

After she went back to Simon in the conference room, she realized that nobody noticed a thing. It was all Markus’s private little play, made especially for Marko and her. The party lasted for an hour or so more, and then they excused themselves and went to Muse Books. She texted to Marko in the evening, asking how he was feeling, and he sounded just as hollow and tired as she felt. 

She went to her parents’ apartment on the weekend. They lived in Alamo, too, and she went over every week for a family meal. Mr and Mrs Blake were rather vital for their age, but Andrea noticed both of them walking and moving not as quick she remembered them. They never asked questions about her personal life. 

Monday was peaceful and there was no news from Markus. The publication was behind them, but Andrea couldn’t shake off the feeling that Markus will find the way to disturb her somehow. As she was changing to her home clothes, which meant not the least bit attractive sweatpants and a not-matching hoodie, she heard a buzz. A text. ‘Would you like to meet me where you used to spy on me at 8:30? XO’. He started putting kisses in texts. She instantly smiled and felt better. There was a plan to clean up the apartment, but that can wait a day or two. She’ll see Marko tonight. She ate and snuggled on a sofa to get some rest. It would be such a shame if she was tired enough to miss even the faintest word or gesture by Marko that evening. 

*****  
Marko was sitting at the same table they were at the last time, on their first date. Andrea saw him when she came in, and he saw her the same second. He stood up to greet her and they hugged and kissed. He looked almost polished and classy in a thick navy blue sweater, except for the stubble of a beard. Her rolling eyes and smirking made sense to him when she took off her long winter jacket to reveal she was wearing a similar sweater herself, almost the same shade of blue. 

Oh, look, we have the same outfit! - Marko sniggered.

Hm, it happened to me with a friend once. Not funny at all. - Andrea replied. 

Shall we call it our second date? - Marko asked. 

I don’t know. Yes, I guess. Let’s call it the second one before it goes out of control – Andrea answered. 

The waiter took their orders and they chatted on how they spent the weekend. Andrea rested on her right elbow taking in every sensation she could pick up. She didn’t miss a single blink, a single look up when Marko tried to remember something, a single crooked smile, a single tilting of a head. And she didn’t miss something she already forgot about, and that was how his hands loved telling a story as much as his voice and face did. 

They have had but a few peaceful moments so far. Their first date, until it became a drowning nightmare, was so far the only occasion when they were just hanging out with no pressure. Tender moments on the night of kidnap started out as they did and were intersected with his ill condition; the Halloween party moments started out as an explosive surprise; then Marko acted all crazy and then Markus pressured them to grow closer. Even this moment was under the shadow of Markus. 

Marko talked about meeting Jani on Saturday. He sat back, relaxed, and quite talkative. He soon noticed that Andrea was scanning his every move, his every twitch, looking even at his hands. He glanced downwards, but his hands looked like they always do. 

Andrea reached out for his hands, a sudden move but a slow one, not to spook him away and make him withdraw these expressive hands away. His arms were outstretched on the table, palms up. She cupped them, making him gasp in surprise and started tracing with her fingers across his fingers, circling with her thumbs across his fingertips, weaving intricate patterns across every crease and eminence. 

The waiter brought their drinks, but neither noticed it. 

Andrea – said Marko, while Andrea was looking surprised at her drink and reaching for it – do you have plans for this weekend? 

No, why?

It’s my birthday on Saturday and I’d like to spend it with you. Away. 

Andrea gasped. - Oh, my God! I know it’s on December 5th, but I completely lost it out of sight that it is this Saturday! - Then she looked at him questioningly – I’m sorry, what did you say? 

I know you know it… You saw it on my ID when you went through my things – He nodded and winked, which elicited an embarrassed laughter on Andrea’s part – As I was saying, I booked a mountain cabin not too far away. Just the two of us. I booked it ten days ago, I just need to confirm the reservation by tomorrow. - He suddenly looked less relaxed, and almost apprehensive. - Would you like to spend a weekend in a secluded, wood-surrounded cabin with me? It’s very comfortable inside. 

Andrea looked at him. Wide-eyed and worried, he was an enigma for her. He was a fighter, with such a strong personality that it was hard to believe how at moments he would display vulnerability beyond control. Not many grown up males could be called cute, but when he was relaxed and goofing around, no better word could come to her mind, even though he was virile the whole time. And these exchanges of crazy confidence and painful insecurity were another layer of his. There he was, asking her, wondering if she would like to spend the whole weekend alone with him?! 

I would, you silly! I can’t wait! - She leaned across the table and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled in confusion. He was such an adorable mess when he smiled in confusion. 

How are we going to get there? Are we going to wait for an unsuspecting couple on the parking lot? 

His confusion was now joined by open embarrassment. He rolled his eyes and hid his face in his hands. He was irresistible. Andrea wouldn’t stop and give him a break, not for a second. 

Are there any chains and other devious toys there? 

Marko’s face was still behind his hands, but his shoulders were shaking from laughter. Andrea leaned and whispered into his ear: 

Oh, what the hell. At least bring your make-up kit with you. I want to paint burgundy stars all over your body.

Andrea leaned back and Marko leaned forward, his elbows on the table. His face was wet from tears as a result of all the chuckling. They both had the same satisfied smile, the smile of a cat that has just had a good meal and is enjoying a warm and comfy spot. Two sets of blue eyes, one light and one dark, enjoyed each other’s presence. 

The torture chamber, my make-up… You’ll never let it go, will you? 

No. Never.


	51. Exclusive or not?

Marko was walking Andrea home, trying to arrange the words in the best possible way, but his mind was not working at its best, completely overflown with the feelings of joy and melting with tenderness for having spent a lovely evening with Andrea. They were standing in front of a pet shop window, and Andrea was saying how she feeds stray dogs and cats around her building. He stood behind her and hugged her, enclosing her in his embrace. He was just getting used to the new sensation of being able to reach out and pull someone in his hug, and have that person respond with snuggling in even closer. 

Will you be my girlfriend? – He said softly, giving her a light kiss on the neck. 

Andrea turned around, that satisfied smile again on her face – Yes – and pulled him lightly by the collar for a kiss. They both felt thrilled to touch and be touched and the kiss would soon have progressed had they not been in the middle of the street. When they parted, Andrea had to ask something. 

Just to be sure, we are exclusive, right? 

Marko gave a chuckle – Of course, what did you think? 

I thought you meant it that way, but these days you never know. Plus, you hang out with Jaska, and he seems very open-minded in everything related to relations – Andrea teased. 

You mention Jaska a lot – Marko feigned to be worried – Jaska this, Jaska that… 

Marko! – Andrea laughed. Her joke was turning on her now. 

Jaska is a loyal friend. He would definitely jump in if there was any need for it. And if there wasn’t any need for it, for that matter – Marko continued joking. 

Yeah, he likes touching people, I’ve noticed. – Andrea smirked – Is he dating anyone? 

No. The shelter is his main preoccupation for the last couple of months. He had a serious relationship, well, you’ve met the girl. Tiia. Your therapist. 

Jaska and Tiia?! – Andrea shrieked in surprise, her eyebrows shooting up at the top of her face. – Jaska and Tiia? But, she’s so serious and he is so… look, I like the guy but I honestly can’t picture the two of them. He’s like a butterfly, flapping his wings and flying around from one flower to another…

Well, I know what you mean, but Jaska isn’t quite as he seems. Yes, he does project that image of somebody who sleeps around, and he does sleep around at times… But you need to see them together to understand what I talk about. I’m sorry they broke up, Tiia was just what he needed. 

And Olli? 

What’s the sudden interest in my guys?

I have a friend who likes guys like Olli. 

Marko laughed. – So, this is how it works with girls. You pre-plan everything, and decide who’s going to date whom, and we get to agree to it. 

Andrea smirked. – Well, sometimes you guys need a little push. 

Andrea! – Marko tilted his head. – Don’t try anything like that on Olli. If he senses you’re trying to fix him up with someone, he’ll run for the hills. 

Why?! He’s not a lone wolf, for Christ’s sake, he’s a social being. 

Marko shook his head. – Just don’t. 

Andrea sighed. - Look, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being alone, but it is more interesting to have someone to make everything nicer, at least from time to time. If that person isn’t making everything nicer, than it’s better to stay alone, of course. 

Marko just smiled. His thought exactly. 

They were in front of the entrance into Andrea’s building. 

Ah. The first time I officially escorted my girlfriend to her apartment. Nice. – Marko winked. 

O, sugar, be prepared for a lot of first times, with our mountain cabin elope coming along – Andrea responded, making him smirk and smile. 

Wow, I’ll keep that in mind… for sure. – Once again, he thought how her imagination runs wild. She was gorgeous and ready to explore him up and down, her promise of painting all over his body coming back to his mind. 

And no more chasing after other girls!

It’s not like I had a wild social life before we met! 

I don’t know. I can’t trust you. Who knows how many girls before me you’ve kidnapped under a pretext of having to go somewhere and not being able to drive alone. 

Marko just rolled his eyes. Andrea was persistent, trying to elicit a response. – Was that your modus operandi with girls, at the college? Did Markus teach you that? – she asked, looking him in the eye and raising an eyebrow.

That hit a spot. Marko’s eyes sparkled darkly. – You, devil woman! – Marko hugged Andrea around the shoulders and lifted her up, spinning around as fast as he could. Andrea shrieked and chuckled uncontrolledly. – Stop! Put me down! I get dizzy easily! Put me down! 

Half a minute later they were both leaning against a wall, laughing and trying to catch their breath. 

Bloody hell, Marko! You’re like a kid in a playground! 

Yeah. Part of my charm. Get used to it. – He smirked confidently. 

He came in for the goodbye kiss. Intrigued by how it felt having her in his arms, he wanted the weekend to come as close as possible. Their lips parted. Andrea smiled.

Goodbye, Marko. 

Sleep well, Andrea. 

She gave a chuckle – After all this spinning, hardly – and she went inside. 

Marko took a deep breath to calm down and clear his head. So, this is how a normal date night ends, he thought. This mix of serenity and rupture was not something he had a lot of opportunities to experience before.


	52. Letting off some steam

Olli looked at the clock. Two thirty. A gloomy Tuesday afternoon. He was getting more restless with every passing hour. He started considering leaving work early. Why would he do such a thing, a little voice protested. This was his workplace. He was no scared schoolboy. He should stay his ground. Yes, like that would be the real reason for staying until five, knowing Ivana would be lurking somewhere outside. Brutally honest, he admitted to himself that he was looking forward to seeing Ivana again. Marko was his friend, and she was sent by Marko’s enemy. Therefore, he should steer clear. The fact that he had a crush on her made it complicated, but he knew where his loyalty lay. He left work at ten past four and made it home without being contacted by Ivana. 

Guys, I need to tell you something… - Olli recounted everything about Ivana when he saw his friends that evening. 

Interesting – Marko said with a light frown. - Why didn’t you say that yesterday? 

I don’t know… - Olli rolled his eyes, obviously uncomfortable and ashamed. - I just… I couldn’t bring myself to saying it. 

Is she pretty? - Jaska’s eyes narrowed, an idea dawning on him. 

Olli opened his hands, looking up and shrugging shoulders – I don’t know… She’s not ugly…

You don’t know if she’s pretty? - Jaska was persistent, starting to grin. 

Olli just rolled his eyes, feeling as if on a hot seat. He reached for his glass of wine, but then he retrieved his arms, as if he’s not sure whether to drink or not. 

She is! I knew it! - Jaska laughed in victory. - That’s why you kept quiet! 

Shut up, Jaska! - Olli waved his hand, embarrassed and feeling guilty. Marko chuckled, but said nothing. Olli looked at him, and Marko made a straight face. - C’mon, Jaska, give him a break. 

Why?! It’s like in movies! She’s trying to seduce him, for fuck’s sake, to get some information about you, or whatever! Why the fuck is nobody trying to seduce me?! - Jaska had laughter tears running down his cheeks. - Olli-boy, why not play with her? Let her seduce you, you quite frankly need to let off some steam, maybe you can even turn her over! - He looked at Olli so happily and full of enthusiasm that Olli couldn’t help but chuckle, still shaking his head. 

Yeah, I wouldn’t have a problem with that outcome, either – Marko said, grinning from ear to ear. 

Guys! 

Hey, if you don’t want to show that girl some love, put in a good word for me – Jaska was planning ahead. - I’m full of sweeet looooove! - And with that he half stood up in something that resembled dancing. 

Yep, and don’t we know that. - Marko said, exchanging meaningful looks with Olli. - I still remember you French-kissing me on that New Year’s party! … 

Jaska rolled his eyes, dismissing it as an exaggeration – So? It wasn’t a biggie… 

Well, it was to me, because I neither wanted it nor expected it. - He sighed. - We have to get Tiia back. She was the only one who could talk some sense in you regarding your… libertine looks on love.

Why?! I can love more than one person at a time! I have a lot of love to go around and share – Jaska almost bragged. 

No doubt about that – Marko replied. - However, you should, kind of, mention that to each and every person you are loving at the same time…

Jaska deflated like a punctured balloon. 

And as for you… - Marko turned to Olli, eyes full of kindness. – We’re brothers by blood separated. I trust you even when you don’t trust yourself. – Some sadness clouded his face – Just be careful. I don’t think she can make you Markus’s minion. But I do think she can break that heart of yours. 

Olli was looking down, looking uncomfortable. – You think that’s gonna happen? No happy ending for me? 

Marko spread his arms showing his uncertainty. - I don’t know, Olli. If I could see whether the future holds something for me, do you think I would be living like this?

That moment was the first time that Marko outed he was aware he had been making some bad choices. Both Jaska and Olli noticed it. 

Seems to me, you’re the closest of us to have a lover who is also a partner – Jaska nodded into Marko’s direction. – I honestly hope it will work out between the two of you. 

Marko sighed – The way it started… who could’ve told anything good would come out of it? 

No, really. – Jaska was getting quite serious. – I had my shot with Tiia, probably the only person that really cared about me, and I fucked it up. Fucked it up big time. Olli here keeps bugging me. He’s the sanest here, but he somehow… Olli, what the fuck is wrong with you? – Olli just looked at him, pissed, and Jaska gave a short snigger before continuing – And you! Marko! You, my friend, are fucking insane at moments, and these moments are not rare, but you managed to score a girl who’s ready to charge at the future Mayor for your sake! She can’t be completely normal, either, when she’s attracted to you! I’d say you were lucky!

Don’t call me insane – Marko said. He wasn’t angry, but he wasn’t happy, either.

Ah, yeah. Sorry. I meant it the good way – Jaska grinned. – Hey, Olli, do you remember when we brought Marko back after he kidnapped Andrea? Later that day? 

Yes, why? – Olli asked. 

When he was looking at that text she sent him… or a photo, what was it?... It was some weird shit, and I called her insane, remember, Olli? 

Olli exhaled in surprise and smiled. He knew where Jaska was going with it. – I remember. – They both looked at Marko. 

Finish the thought. – Marko said almost threateningly, eyebrows up.

You almost punched me for calling her insane. That morning. I can’t believe I didn’t see it straight away. You were so protective of her. Honestly, the chances of you, fucked up as you are, finding someone who will get your back… That’s some serious luck, dude. – Jaska concluded, as if stating a series of facts in front of a court. 

Luck has nothing to do with love – Olli remarked, grumpily. 

Oh, it has, my bossy little friend, it has. You’re just angry because you can’t control that. 

Deep down inside, Olli knew Jaska was right. Whatever could be controlled, he controlled it, and he felt safe that way. 

Jaska leaned across the table, in a conspiring manner, as if to share a gem of knowledge with Olli. – How about you… lose some control? – Jaska looked Olli in the eye. – With Ivana? Don’t wait long. Next time you see her. 

Hey, Jaska, I don’t think that’s a good idea – Marko protested, shaking his head, suddenly worried. – Olli’s not you, or me. 

So? – Jaska was still gazing into Olli’s eyes, their eyes locked. – Practice makes perfect. He’s got to dive headlong into something once. No safety nets. No second chance. He’s got to learn to make that perfect, near fatal, headlong dive into the unknown. Whatever happens, he’s got us.


	53. When you stay alone at night, what good is your friendship?

Minutes after five p.m. on Wednesday Olli walked out of his practice to see Ivana standing only a few metres away of his entrance door. Light snow was falling from the dark skies. First snow of that season. Ivana’s jacket hood was almost hiding her eyes. She smiled at him. 

Hi, Olli. Can we talk? 

Hi, Ivana. I need to send something and the post office works till six. It’s not far. Would you like to walk with me? 

Ok. It will help me restore my blood flow. I no longer feel my feet. – They started walking. - So, have you considered Markus’s proposal? 

About that… I’m not tempted. Not the least bit. Tell him I said no. 

Oh, c’mon. You could have your private hospital. You’re a professional. Business would thrive and you would have more people able to help other people. Don’t say it doesn’t sound good. 

You’re sugar coating it. I would have to betray my friend to have that. 

So? What’s one friend compared to all the people you could help and save? 

Olli shook his head. – It doesn’t work that way. I am doing all I can, already. That way I don’t feel bad for not saving the whole world. No. I do what I can, every day. And you clearly haven’t had a close friend, a mental brother or sister, when you can talk about friendship that way. 

Ivana looked offended, but let it go. – When you stay alone at night, what good is your friendship? 

Olli gave a nervous laugh, turning sideways to look at Ivana. – What does that even mean? Nobody has everything they want or need. Where are you getting with it? Is Marcus offering me a person to keep me company at night, as a bonus? What are you even saying? 

No, Markus is not offering you a person – Ivana sighed. I am, maybe, she thought to herself. 

Well, then stop speaking in riddles. Markus is offering me business opportunities. But you are speaking about other things. It’s like you have an agenda of your own. - He said. 

Ivana sighed, frustrated about something. Olli was having a tough time understanding her. If she would just speak her mind clearly. 

The post office was there. They entered the light, spacious lobby and Olli went to a free postal clerk to send a letter. Ivana watched him from afar. Not much could be seen at the first glance, but it was like he had a halo of kindness around him. That serenity with which he addressed the clerk made Ivana realise he is not one of those grumpy people who lash out on clerks, waiters and other service workers. He walked lightly, his lean frame catching Ivana’s attention. He was even more handsome than she remembered. He was definitely one of the good guys, and there was nothing boring or dull about that. 

However, he was the one good guy she had to do something bad to. Markus’s plan with Olli was quite simple; Olli could not walk away unharmed. In her previous jobs for Markus, she had similar tasks, to extract some information out of people or make them bend their will to his. Still, these people were slimy, shady characters she didn’t respect or like, so she didn’t feel bad for tricking them or playing with them. Olli was different. He was warm inside. She wished she could feel that warmth more closely. He seemed to care about people, and she respected him. There was a chance that she was doing the wrong thing, and she didn’t like the feeling. Markus wanted her to play with Olli, to make him develop feelings for her and to make him bleed when she terminates it. A cruel plan from a cruel man. She was the one to do it. She was starting to wonder if she wants to do it in the first place.


	54. Flaws in plans

He had sent the letter and walked back to her. He could see she was frowning, worried about something, but he didn’t know the reason. 

Look, Olli, I need to have an answer tomorrow. If you say no to Markus, he’s not going to like it. Do you consider yourself a free man? – She asked, as they walked out of the post office. They went back to Olli’s place. Ivana didn’t put her hood back on, having taken in some of the warmth inside and enjoying the snowflakes. 

Olli rolled his eyes. There she was again, speaking in codes. – I do, but I honestly don’t follow. If you’re gonna say something, just say it. 

If you needed to pack your bags and leave this town in a matter of hours, would you be able to do that? 

Are you saying I might need to pack my bags and leave this town in a matter of hours? 

Ivana said nothing, which added to Olli’s nervousness and frustration. - Do I need to pack up and leave if I turn him down? 

No reply from Ivana pushed Olli over the edge. He blocked her path and grabbed her by the shoulders. She looked away, so he shook her to make an eye contact. She looked, part pissed, part surprised, part something else. Excited, maybe? It was hard to tell, with that constant smile on her lips. Was he so hilariously funny to her that she smiled every now and then? There was no reason for that. 

Hey! Hey! Look at me! What is Markus planning with us? 

I don’t know. But it’s going to be ugly. 

And why are you telling me that? Aren’t you supposed to tell me lies like he appreciates me, and wants to advance my career, or something like that? 

Would you have believed me if I had told you that?! – Ivana was losing her calm. She was surprised that Olli was still holding her by the shoulders, trying to enjoy it as much as possible. The pressure on shoulders was just enough to get her attention, not nearly enough to hurt her in any way. She mustn’t look at her shoulders, because if he follows her gaze, he’ll let go. No. Focus on his face, which was so close. If none of this had happened, and if she had seen him on the street, or in a bar, she probably wouldn’t have been impressed on the first sight. That is why first impressions can be deceiving. There are people who simply hypnotize you once you start looking at them, or when the contact is made. When you watch them talk, or laugh, or listen to someone attentively you realize that you can’t look away. She did think him cute when she saw his photo, but in these few days of seeing him and talking to him she became infatuated without knowing it. He was kind and quite adamant in his opinions at the same time. Nothing mellow about him. And he was so much more intriguing in flesh. And now there he was, holding her by the shoulders, his face almost touching hers. He was tense, demanding some answers right now. 

What do you know? – Olli asked. 

All I know is that he expects answers from you and that other guy tomorrow. Then he’ll decide what to do. I mean, he probably already knows what he’ll do in any case, he’ll just… make it happen. He sent Miika to that other guy, the one with the shelter – She gave a knowing rolling of the eyes. 

What about it? 

Miika’s damaged goods. I don’t know how Markus didn’t see that flaw in his plan. 

Why? Why is it a flaw?

Miika’s damaged and that friend of yours literally runs a place for damaged people. 

Olli knew the whole time he was still holding her by the shoulders, cleverly releasing some of the pressure but not moving his arms. Almost like an embrace, he mused. He didn’t want her to see that he was ready to melt in front of her. And the things she was saying could be useful. 

You know, I’m getting the impression you are trying to help me, help us, somehow. – He said, tilting his head for a better observation of Ivana’s face. Ivana looked away. Olli shook her, as tenderly as he could, to get her attention back. He lowered his face to her right ear. – Are you? 

Ivana was looking at him, but didn’t know what to say. She felt his breath on her ear and barely managed not to shake. She wanted to seduce him and to have him, but for herself, not because Markus told her to, and she couldn’t imagine how she was to bring herself to harm him. A few strands of hair fell over his forehead. She found him insanely attractive. 

Ivana was looking at him, but Olli wasn’t sure he would understand anything she told at that moment, because he was mesmerized by the way silvery snowflakes glistened in her wild, raven hair, like lace in time for a celebration. 

Aren’t we all damaged in a way? – Olli asked, his face still tense. What precisely was he talking about, Ivana wondered. – Aren’t we all… - He looked as if he was unsure whether to speak or not – flawed in a way? – He was lowering his head again; oh, god, if he whispers in my ear once again, went through her head… A second passed, he said nothing. Two seconds. Three seconds. Then she felt the tenderest touch on the outer part of her ear. His arms were still around her shoulders, so it could have been nothing else but a kiss. 

Olli wished to see Ivana’s face, but didn’t want to break the almost-hug they were sharing. He felt that he was leading in this game for two now. Suddenly, he knew just what to say. 

You want my answer tomorrow, right? – He whispered, his lips still milimetres from Ivana’s ear.

Yes – Ivana said, barely able to speak. She was the one who should be playing with him, not the other way round, went through her mind. How did this even happen? Clearly, her plan with Olli had flaws, as well. 

I’ll finish work at five, as usual. I’ll be waiting for you. – Ivana felt him touching her hair. She almost closed her eyes from the sensation. – You have snowflakes on your hair. We’ll drink something… warm… and I’ll give you my answer. Is that ok with you? 

It is – Ivana murmured. His scarf was so close to her nose, she picked up the scent of his skin. 

You know, Marko and Jaska have this crazy theory that you are trying to seduce me… - Olli smirked into Ivana’s ear, unaware of Ivana widening her eyes in shock. Fuck, he knows, she thought. – I really wouldn’t mind if you are… - He whispered seductively, turned around and walked away.

Ivana gasped in disbelief.

Olli’s heart was beating as if it was going to jump out from his chest, but he managed to walk away slowly and confidently, the brightest, smuggest grin across his entire face.


	55. Collecting the answers

It was almost three o’clock when Miika entered the shelter’s dining room. Most shelters users have already left, just a few late comers still eating their food and warming themselves. 

Are you now here for your answer? – Jaska asked, nodding Miika to sit at a table little away from everyone else. 

Yes.

The two men sat down. Jaska did not smile, but he looked overall content with what he has here, Miika thought. He had the same expression almost every time they met; tired, but quietly happy. He seemed to be well appreciated, too. Looking from afar, anyone would think that they even looked similar; longish strands of dark hair, light eyes, oval faces; still, a closer look would discover a difference in their facial expression. While Jaska’s face always carried some emotion, Miika’s face carried none. 

Do you like working for Markus? 

He’s good to me. 

Good to you? Are we talking about the same Markus?! Because he’s a manipulative son of a bitch, take my word for it. 

Miika seemed uncomfortable, but who knew what really went inside that head of his, Jaska thought. 

I’m not gonna work for him. That’s my final answer and he can stick it up his ass. You tell him that. 

He can take measures so that you lose it all – Miika tried for the last time. 

He can take… He’s not the god almighty! Listen to yourself! Do you pray to him before bedtime?! He can take measures, and I can take measures, too. 

Ok – Miika stood up. They said goodbye. 

Hey! – Jaska shouted after Miika when he was leaving the place. – That doesn’t mean you are not welcome here. 

***** 

This is not a date. This is not a date. This is not a date, Olli was telling himself as he was putting on his best black shirt and tucking it inside his favourite black jeans. This is not a date, but I wish it was, he confessed to himself looking at his reflection in the mirror that morning. Work hours dragged on, especially after two pm. He was all pins and needles when he saw five pm started to approach. 

At five pm he walked out the practice door and saw Ivana was at her usual spot. He smiled, because he liked punctuality. Two blocks away there was Tomaso’s, a little café he liked, so naturally he took Ivana there. They had some small talk until they got there, talking about how cold it was. At Tomaso’s the waiter took them to a secluded booth, whose privacy was guaranteed due to the fact that it was partially surrounded by decorative lace wood panels and plants. Olli praised the house mulled wine, so they both ordered it to get warm. 

With both hands on the cup to warm them, Ivana enjoyed the mulled wine and its smell. Olli wanted to place his hands around hers, to provide some extra warmth, but feared it would be too much. Light grey winter dress Ivana was wearing was made of some thick material with silver streaks, so it glistened discreetly as she moved in the semi-darkness of the secluded booth, lit enough to see everything, but not enough to make anyone’s eyes sore with brightness. The soft silvery sheen of the dress, the little pearly earrings, those dark eyes fixated on his – Olli couldn’t not watch. He regretted her hair was not loose. It looked ok this way, too, in a tight bun, but he preferred it loose. 

So, Olli… - Ivana started – I need to know what to tell Markus about you. Have you thought about it? 

What did you say Markus was offering me? – Olli played like he didn’t know.

Professional progress, anything you want in the career, basically – Was the answer. 

Olli smiled one of his rare, knowing smiles. – Alright. Is there anything else on the table for me? From anyone else? – He looked Ivana in the eye. This will be tricky, but he had to get some sort of an answer. 

Ivana saw he was fixating her with his gaze. She remembered he told her about the seduction theory, and he was clearly referring to that. The situation was far more uncomfortable than she thought it would be. How to say anything more without making her seem like a cheap woman? Could she be wrong about him; could he be after cheap women? If that was the case, she would not be interested in him in the first place. 

Your siding with Markus will be awarded with professional opportunities that are now out of your reach. Nothing more, nothing less. – She hoped she was clear enough.

For betraying a friend, I get professional opportunities. Ok. What was it you said the other day? – Olli was all sly smiles and Ivana felt like she was walking on very thin ice, which is about to start cracking. – What good is friendship when I’m alone at night? Was there any deeper meaning behind those words? 

Yes, Ivana heard the ice starting to crack. – That was something else. That was not connected with Markus and business. 

Was it not? Is it not? 

It is not. – She grimaced and huffed, unsure what else to say and what was happening. All those hints and allusions with hidden meanings would normally be ok with her, but not with this guy across the table, looking at her the way he did. She couldn’t focus and think as clearly as usual.

Her hands were still on an empty mug of mulled wine. Olli’s blue eyes were glittering like icicles in the dim booth and out of nowhere he leaned a bit forward, taking her hands into his and lifting them up to his lips. 

As for Markus, I never had a second thought about it. No. – He said in a half-whisper. – As for the deeper meaning – he tenderly kissed the knuckles of her right hand – of your words on loneliness – progressing to kiss the knuckles of the left hand – what do you recommend? 

This slightly nerdy, innocent-looking guy was kissing her fingers with such a wicked smile that Ivana just took a deep breath in disbelief. That pure demonic energy was urging for a prompt release, and Ivana already saw them groping each other hungrily in that booth, noticing the sensuality of his kisses and wondering what else he can do with those lips of his. She was the one that needed to put an end to it and walk away with the answer for Markus. 

Except for the fact that she was dying to feel more of Olli’s energy.


	56. A boot in a booth

Things progressed from that all-but-innocent knuckle kisses Olli was so generous in giving. Seconds after the kissing Olli was sitting next to her in an awkward position turned with his upper body towards her. She heard him say that her fingers were quite cold and ask if she’s cold anywhere else, and she heard herself answer that her feet were cold, too. Olli gave a quick sly smile and looked at her knee to get a hold of her knee-high boot zip. Slowly and smoothly the boot was unzipped and off it went. Ivana giggled for a moment, and Olli grinned, too, but neither moved not to prevent his nimble fingers from giving her stone-cold feet some comfort.

Where do you keep these? In deep freeze? – Olli joked, massaging the foot but looking at the rest of the leg as well. A well-shaped leg, indeed. It has been a while that he has seen a woman’s leg apart from seeing his patients’ legs at work. Luck favors bold, he remembered the saying almost as if someone whispered it to him, and he could have sworn it was Jaska’s voice in his head. He rolled his eyes, grinning. 

Shut up and go on! – Ivana heard herself say. Did she really say that? Does it even matter?! Unsure whether to close the eyes from the enjoyment or to look at Olli, she moved her head to the right just in time to see a waiter passing by the booth. She suddenly straightened, sitting up as she had glided down her seat and punching Olli in the shoulder with her knee. Olli straightened, too, but the waiter just passed without so much as looking in their booth. 

That was close! – She said, cupping her face in her hands and giving a laugh. Olli looked sheepish, raising his brows and shaking his head. He picked up the boot, placed it around Ivana’s foot and zipped it. The moment was gone, but they were still sitting close to each other. None of them has had enough of the other one’s comfort and energy. Olli stopped smiling, his face all serious again. 

What are you thinking about, Olli? 

I’m thinking about what a wonderful smile you have… - He bit his lip for a second, not knowing how to continue – and how I wish we have met under different circumstances. 

Feeling chilly all of a sudden, she leaned to the right, right into his embrace. Her ear landed on his heart. She knew what he meant, but she didn’t know how to reply. Where would she even start? Should she start with telling him how she didn’t think she would ever meet somebody who would make her lust after his body and mind alike? 

Olli’s statement was replied, though not verbally. Ivana snuggled up to him, leaving him no choice but to fold his arms around her. In a strange way, this position felt a lot more personal than the foot massage moments ago. That was lust, and this is surrender. 

Why do you work for Markus? 

I owe him some favours, so I have to repay them. 

When will that be? 

I can’t tell for sure. Until now, it didn’t really matter. 

Olli picked on a nuance of cracking open in her last statement. – Why don’t you come to the light side? – He asked, directly paraphrasing the question she asked him not so long ago. 

I don’t think I’m allowed to. – She answered, sitting up, and putting her jacket on. Olli started dressing, but she stopped him. – I’ll take a cab. I need to go to and see Markus… remember? 

So, what happens now? – Olli asked. – Will I see you again? – He wanted more than seeing, to be honest. He felt she was interested in him the way he was. He wanted to speak to her, he wanted to open up to her, he wanted to touch her freely, he wanted every possible aspect of human intimacy with her. 

I have your number; I took one of your cards back in your office – She winked. 

But I don’t have your number. – Olli frowned. Even his frown was irresistible to her. He was clever, witty, kind and so vulnerable and stoic at the same time. She pulled him down for a quick, light kiss, which did nothing but spark the flames burn more fiercely between them. A second away she was gone. 

Not a minute later he received a text. – I love the sound of your heart beating. Will have to listen to it again – It was from Ivana. She must have sent it the moment she sat into a cab. Olli smiled. He felt overwhelmed and overexposed at the same time.


	57. Captain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentleman, Captain's point of view of Marko and their college days and some of Captain's background story. A carnival of creepy, I dare say. I hope you will (won't) find it as eerie as I did while writing. I had it all along but it took me a while to crystallize and put in words what really went on between them. 
> 
> More in one of the next chapters.

So, neither Jaska nor Olli backed down. Markus would have been surprised if they had backed down and came to him. Never mind. He was kind of hoping they would turn him down, since that meant he can do what he really wanted to do. These two love birds are out of the town for the weekend. Sweet. The world they would come back to late on Sunday will not be the world they will leave early on Saturday. Pressure Jaska. Pressure Olli. What to do with Andrea was still an open-end question, but that could wait, first things first. 

***** 

Back when they were at the college, Marko used to admire Markus. He was the one who gave him his nickname, Captain, the nickname that caught on quickly much to Markus’s satisfaction. He basked under that spotlight, enjoying the attention from the scruffy student boy two years his junior. They would sit for hours after classes on a bench in a park, discussing what professors taught that day, confiding in each other along the way. Markus recognized Marko’s hunger for wealth and power, the things he already had access to, thanks to his family’s influence. In time, the secrets they shared became deeper and more personal. Young people need confidants, and Markus was no exception. He shared his, and Marko shared his. And Marko’s secrets were so deliciously weird. The most intriguing one referred to his mood changes which could lead to a super-short temper issues. It didn’t sound much at first, but it was, because he was diagnosed with a case of neurosis when he was seventeen, and was taking medication to keep him in shape. By the time they met, the diagnosis had been altered and was unclear what really was wrong with Marko’s behavior, which included a couple of manic-depressive alternation cycles, falling into a wider group of issues known as psychotic episodes. 

Fascinated was an understatement. Markus shared his secrets with Marko, too, but kept the grittiest parts of them to himself. By the time they met, his psychological evaluation was kept away by an expensive private professional. What were the words on that chart, describing young Markus from the age of twelve to his present state? Prone to deceitfulness for personal gain, little or no remorse for actions that hurt others, contemptuous of the rights of others, narcissistic, able to plan ahead, conceited. A textbook psychopath. In Marko he saw some of his own traits. In Marko he saw what he deemed were some of his best traits: a coil of screwed-up and bottled emotions, a brilliant mind and hunger for more of everything. You see, unlike Marko, who realized that he was different and was uncomfortable with it, Markus knew he was different since his earliest days and he was proud of himself to the point of being in love with himself for being so different. He took delight in numerous psychological assessments his parents took him to when he was younger, feeling superior to psychologists and psychiatrists who all, without an exception, corroborated the thesis that he had antisocial personality disorder. His parents must have felt relief when he went to college. Finally, away from their supervision, it was the moment to spread his wings, and this messed-up, quirky guy called Marko sat right next to him, reflecting Markus’s traits as if he was holding a mirror. Markus figured it must have been a sign. 

It is difficult to tell now what brought these two young men apart, but Markus felt as if Marko was not developing more into the direction he had wanted Marko to develop. Markus refused counselling of any sort, and he would’ve refused the medication had there been any medication for his state. Marko, on the other hand, took medication and went to see therapists and psychologists. Indirectly, intimately, Markus started feeling as if Marko’s fighting his mental issues, the thing that brought them so close, was showing Marko would at one point cut the bond they have. While Markus refused help, Marko sought for it. If Marko found his state shameful, he might have felt the same about Markus’s state, and being ashamed was never an option for Markus. He knew his characteristics were seen as flaws by others, but he embraced them full heartedly and proudly. Marko’s shame was a sign of weakness for him. And that was another thing that was not an option for him. 

Also, they did not share the same issues. Psychotic episodes Marko had been experiencing were not the same as sadistic pleasure Markus was having from using and hurting others. The first one could be rectified; the second one couldn’t.


	58. Blond Mexicans and gladiators

The destination was Cut-through, a popular mountain resort location not far away from Alamo. Early on Saturday morning, Marko knocked at Andrea’s door and was greeted with a smile and a kiss. 

Hey, birthday boy! I have something for you, but you won’t see in until tonight. 

Her hugging him still felt weird to him. Wonderful, but weird, due to his lack of closeness with people, females in particular. He took her suitcase down. 

Getting in the car with you… with you driving… I honestly don’t know what to expect – Andrea said, as she was adjusting her seatbelt. Marko just smiled and shook his head. The conversation was flowing easily and naturally, they were commenting people on the street, telling each other what happened during the week. All the while music was playing, a mix of rather good music, Andrea had to admit. She noticed the same male voice from one song to another, a very expressive voice, guessing it must be Marko’s favorite singer or band. 

I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a while now, but it always slipped my mind. – Andrea said. They were on an empty road. Clouds were hanging low on the horizon. It will rain sooner or later, or it could snow, if temperature drops just a little. It might be snowing on their mountain already. – Enrique Suarez. 

Ha! Enrique. – Marko tilted his head, looking at her just for a second, before gluing his eyes back to the road. – What do you want to know about Enrique? 

Well… Why? And how did you ever fool anyone into thinking you were a Mexican? 

I’ll start with the latter. There are blond Mexicans, you know, if that’s what you mean. Besides, I speak Spanish. 

Really?!

Yeah! Picked it up from some roommates, went to classes… The Russian guy… Igor… I just had to fake accent with him. And others were from English-speaking countries. 

And why did you make these guys come to life? 

Hmmm… - Marko scratched his head. – Smuggling for Markus, to cut the long story short. I haven’t used them in a while… at least six or seven years. 

The expressive voice kept singing a disquieting chorus about marionettes which are brought to life by strings, ‘by strings animated’ was the exact line. How very fitting description of Marko’s aliases, went through Andrea’s mind. 

***** 

Just before eleven a.m. they reached the little resort, completely cradled in the surrounding hills and vegetation. Being to the north from Alamo and on higher altitudes, that meant one thing not so often seen in Alamo: a soft, thick cover of pristine snow.

The receptionist ushered them to their cabin, showing back to the main building and reminding there would be a dance night that night at seven in the evening. Marko told Andrea about the dance night during the week, so she packed everything she needed. He wasn’t fond of dancing, and any normal clothes will do. 

The cabin was as comfortable as anyone could imagine. From the door one would enter a narrow hallway to the left and right, with doors leading to the bathroom and the living room. The one thing domineering the living room was a massive fireplace, and something resembling a small coral full of logs cut into different sizes, in the right corner next to the fireplace. The hosts had everything covered, Marko thought. That wood would last until the afternoon of the next day. The living room had a dining area and was the bedroom at the same time, with a rather spacious bed opposite the fireplace. 

Neither wanted to linger in the cabin at the moment, excited to explore the white wilderness around them. They had some sandwiches packed for the road, and after putting on more clothes, off they went. At first they took the wider, trodden paths, where other visitors could be seen, but slowly they abandoned them in favor of untrodden areas under thick evergreen canopies, deeper in the wood. Less people. Less sounds. Less light, even. Marko went first, choosing the safest and least steep path among the trees and undergrowth. Andrea couldn’t take her eyes off him. He moved so carefully and yet so confidently that it was obvious this wasn’t his first trekking in deep snow. 

You told me you were a gladiator. – She broke the silence, not speaking at her normal volume, either. Something about being so deep in the woods make her speak not as loud as normally. 

I did? – Marko chuckled. – I don’t remember that!

Yes. During the fever. – They were descending a small slope. Marko put his right hand behind so she could lean, without looking back or stopping. She grabbed the hand, grateful for the gesture. – I think you would look good in any sort of body armor. 

Marko grinned, not stopping. Andrea was full of wildest ideas and she was rather articulate when sharing them with him. He even started imagining himself wearing an ancient Roman bronze chest armor with a red cape fluttering behind, the image smoothly fluctuating into him donning a medieval head-to-toe full protection armor. He rolled his eyes, grinning at his own silliness this time. Much good would these armors be now, in this snow and cold. Is that how she saw him? As a hero of a kind? That was such a positive image. He smiled, unsure how and when she made the transition from seeing him as a masked villain to seeing him as a knight in shiny armor.


	59. Come undone

Three hours later, the two frozen but happy young people were trying to get warm in front of the fireplace. Marko suggested going to a little restaurant, but Andrea said they could eat before the dance, and have everything else they need in their cabin. Marko spread a couple of cushions in front of the fireplace, soaking in its radiating heat. Andrea sat on a lazy bag right behind Marko, hugging him around the shoulders, her chin resting at the small of his neck. Two cups with hot beverages emitted their odorous vapors from a coffee table they pulled near. Marko was silent, but Andrea still had many questions about the enigmatic man she was hugging.

That scene of you underwater, back that night… I keep replaying it in my mind’s eye. I think it was Olli who said that you’ve had that awful experience before. Is it too much to ask you to tell me more?

Marko looked in the crackling flames. He was about to tell her anyway, so why not now? She is the one who would see him come undone, and, if she still likes what she sees, then, she might see beyond his issues and together they can make a sweet escape into a better future. 

In his senior year, Marko was invited to Markus’s party at his parents’ home, at the outskirts of Los Angeles. It was not a secret Markus’s family was rich, but Marko was still flabbergasted when he saw the villa they lived in. A few years his senior and well connected, Markus had at that point already had a lucrative job and his new friends and business acquaintances flocked too, leaving Marko outcast, with no one to talk to. He sensed he didn’t fit in there, in the circle of young, thriving and already rich lawyers, stock brokers and other budding and prosperous young men hungry of power with family wealth and name behind them, ready to open every door for them. To make things worse, Markus kept avoiding him the whole evening, which only added to Marko’s alienation. 

Why did he avoid you? 

I never asked. Figured it was just him playing all important. 

Finally, after midnight, we stayed alone. Markus returned to his normal conduct. When there was nobody else, I was as good a company, as any. Should’ve known right then he was no good. But I was relieved he gave me his time of day. He laughed. We shared a bottle and a joint. I didn’t mention it was a pool party. Yeah, so cliché. So I went for a swim. I felt dizzy after that joint, but thought I was just imagining things. The pool had underwater lights. I was diving, feeling ok. Until I wasn’t. My arms and legs felt weird, as if out of control. I looked up and it was somehow darker than moments ago. Took me a couple of seconds to realize the pool cover was being pulled over, with me inside. I swam to the still open part of the pool. Markus’s legs were underwater. I surfaced less than half a meter from Markus, grabbing the pool edge. My arms felt like made of wax. Luckily, I was out. I wiped my eyes dry, smiling at Markus. He smiled back. Then, without rushing it, he lifted a leg from water and pushed against my shoulder, shoving me down and backwards, smiling even more. The back flip disoriented me. I panicked. Which direction is up?! My lungs started filling with water. I noticed the cover, barely managed to swim to it and did my best to thump with fists. Where’s the open end of the pool?! What was happening?! What was Markus doing?! Then I passed out. 

The fire was still crackling cozily, as if trying to fight off the gruesome images which have just been conjured back to life. Marko sat in a lotus position, a grave expression on his face. Andrea held her breath, shaken by the disturbing account she has just heard. Cradled between the fire and Andrea’s limbs, he once again understood how important it was to choose people wisely. Pity he learnt it the hard way. In the end, one really doesn’t need so much to be happy, he thought.

And then?

I opened my eyes outside. Apparently, Markus got me out, eventually. 

Did you ask him why he pushed you? 

Yes. He succeeded in convincing me it was all a bad trip on my side. I even believed him. 

What a fucked-up relation the two of you have had! 

Yeah. I didn’t remember everything back then. It was coming slowly, one flashback after another. 

Andrea has just had a little flashback herself – That’s why you reacted the way you did while you had fever and on that infamous first date of ours. 

Precisely – Marko said. – And I don’t have a speck of doubt that Markus was behind that, too. 

But, still, Marko, to believe him like that… - Andrea sighed – I don’t know. Didn’t you have other friends, too? If I understand correctly, you knew Olli, and Jaska, too. Why were you so hung up on Markus? 

I can’t explain it now, because I don’t understand it, either. But he was so important to me. Olli, Jaska, my other friends, they all faded compared to him. That’s why I believed him – Marko cleared his throat – when he told me that what I remember as drowning was nothing more than an unfortunate mix of the joint and a psychotic episode, probably triggered by the joint. 

He must have known you had them in advance. You told him… right? – Andrea asked, feeling chilly all of a sudden. She pulled a blanket over her shoulders, encircling Marko’s knees with it, too. He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to answer. – Of course you did. That fucking psycho used your weakness against you! – Andrea couldn’t tell was she feeling more resentful or hurt knowing that somebody could play such wicked games with someone just for the sake of the game. 

I told him a lot of things. We were friends, hell, we were best friends back then. – Marko turned his face to Andrea, but avoided meeting her gaze, so he turned his head to the flames again. He wasn’t going into details, but wasn’t withholding, either, telling her the crucial information about years of incorrect diagnoses, that led to misplaced treatments and caused more disturbance than ease. All the time he felt something was wrong with him, but no patient can heal themselves, not even a certified therapist would be able to such an act of self-healing, much less an emotionally-immature boy mistrustful of everyone who seems to try to help. Meeting Markus was really the last thing he needed, because his toxic companionship only spiraled him deeper into isolation, much of which was self-inflicted rather than imposed by others, but Markus was clever enough to cut him off his prior friends and tie him to himself. 

Luckily, and that really was a stroke of luck, a couple of years ago Olli went to a mental health seminar where Tiia was holding a presentation. He told her about me, and she agreed to meet me. Not much later, Jaska busted his way in trying to charm my therapist… but that’s a different story, altogether – Marko gave a little tired smile, shrugged his shoulders and scratched his head. - So, basically, I’m a psycho. You should know that. My mood used to change quickly when I was under stress or something pissed me off. Luckily, my meds work pretty well and I have an amazing therapist who keeps me under control, so I haven’t had any episodes in years now, well, with the exception of the after-drowning ranting you witnessed. Are you still interested? 

Andrea slouched a little to see he raised his brows, defeated, still looking in front of him. – Oh, fuck, Marko. Normality is overrated. – She shook him by the shoulders and started tickling him all over the ribs and stomach. 

Don’t! Stop! – Marko giggled as he was trying to defend himself from her hungry tickling fingers – Jaska was right, you’re insane! 

What?! Jaska said that? Oh, he’s gonna get it bad! – Andrea shouted as she clenched her legs around Marko, to stop him from moving. – But you’re gonna get it first! 

Out of breath, Marko was now sure that one does not need much to feel blissfully happy. All you need is at least one fierce person next to you.


	60. No remorse, no anger, no satisfaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miika's background story in the second half of the chapter.

The oil canister in Miika’s hand felt unusually heavy as he took it out of his trunk, his car parked around the corner. The mission was quite simple: break the front window of the shelter, spill the oil all over the place and light a match. After eleven o’clock in the evening, no passers-by could be expected in that neighborhood, especially not in this cold. 

Had anyone stopped Miika at that moment and asked him how he felt about doing something so wicked as setting a fire to Jaska’s shelter, Miika would most likely just shrugged his shoulders. It was only last week that he visited Jaska and stormed out because he felt strange. He felt overwhelmed in a way he couldn’t explain. Still, he gathered his pose when he came home, rationalizing it to the fact that he was overexposed among strangers. He told Markus all about it. Markus was not happy. Markus repeated that this world is a cruel place where people like Jaska take advantage from lazy people like beggars to appear nice and kind. Markus knew better. Markus gave Miika his job. Markus always cared about Miika, even though they were neither close friends, nor relatives. Markus told him to burn Jaska’s shelter, because Jaska is really just a money-loving stunt-making guy. That is why Miika walked confidently. But, that oil canister was still too heavy for some reason.  


The unexplained weight of the canister proved useful in breaking the front window pane. Miika waited for the loose shreds to fall off on their own, entered the familiar dining room and walked around, spilling the oil. A minute later he was back at the broken glass entrance. He lit a match, its flame dancing timidly in the light breeze. He thought Jaska was a nice guy, but Markus knew better. He deserved to have his shelter burnt to the ground. That was not the righteous anger, just the cold stating of the facts. Miika squatted and the flame licked the oil trail. No remorse, no anger, no satisfaction did he feel as he crossed the street to observe the fire from the distance. 

He was oblivious of the fact that at the back of the dining room there was a narrow hallway and at its end a little side room with no windows. 

Jaska was in it. 

Jaska thought he would finish the paper work by ten but some invoices were absent and the balance was not right. He listened to music on the headphones. He preferred speakers to headphones any given day, but the speakers were broken for days now, and he never remembered to buy new ones. He looked at the clock. Eleven thirteen. Jari called him earlier that evening, and they will meet at half past eleven. Not the coolest time to meet someone, but Jaska’s schedule was hectic these days. 

At one moment Jaska inhaled and thought the air suddenly smelled strange. He took of his headphones. It did smell strange, as if something was burning. Suddenly alarmed, he noticed a gust of dark smoke coiling and rising from under the threshold of the room door. Running in panic he saw the dining room consumed by thick dark smoke and growing flames. 

Miika was rather calm, leaning on a bench in a small park, watching the flames grow in numbers and height, and then he saw commotion and a known figure in the middle of it. A sharp inhale later he ran back to the shelter. 

There was still chance to stop the fire before it grows too strong, Jaska thought, so he grabbed a plastic bucket from under the counter where he served food and yanked the water tap to the fullest to fill it as quickly as possible. He ran with it to the table most engulfed in fire and spilt the water over it. A loud hissing sound was heard, and it seemed to have worked. Back to the water he ran.

Jaska! Are you ok? Get out! – He suddenly heard through the hissing and cracking of wood. He lifted his head from the half-full bucket and saw Miika urging him to leave the place. 

No! Help me! Take this one! – He shoved the now full bucket into Miika’s hands who complied and spilt it over the near-by table. No time for wasting, Jaska found another bucket filling it, too. 

We’ve got to go! – Miika shouted.

Not yet! A couple of these, then we call 911! Here! 

They both started filling the buckets and pouring the water onto the most critical places. The room was getting darker, with even more smoke, but the flames lost most of their size and potency. A couple of minutes later Jaska called 911. Fire brigade, police and paramedics came in a matter of minutes and the firefighters took over. Soot and ash was all over Jaska as he was helping the police officer to make a report on what happened. Miika stood a little to the side. 

So, you smelled the smoke, left the little room and tried to stop the fire yourself. Right?

Yes, and Miika here helped me – Jaska said, pointing with his head to Miika. Miika flinched when he heard his name. 

Is he a friend of yours? 

Yes. I was waiting for him and another friend. Then he came, we did what we could with buckets and called you guys. 

Ok, sir. That would be it for now. Please give me your contact number. Somebody will contact you in the next few days. 

Alright. - Jaska turned around just in time to see Jari approach, wild-eyed. 

Jaska! – Jari hugged him. – Are you ok? 

Yes… I’ll tell you all about it later. 

Miika? Miika Hakala? Is that you? – Jari asked in an inquisitive way. 

Miika nodded, not sure who the man in front of him was. – And you are…?

I’m Jari! Jari Salminen! My parents knew your parents, and we played a couple of times as kids. – Jari went in for a hug, but Miika just readied a hand for a handshake. Jari shook hands with him. 

Jaska had one eye on this unusual encounter, and another on the broken glass of his front window. How did Miika just happen to pass by, in this hour at night? 

Hey, Jari, can you give us a second? I’ll be right with you. 

Sure. See you around, Miika! 

See you around, Jari. 

Jari walked away down the street. Paramedics and police were gone, and firefighters were packing the hose and preparing to leave. Jaska grabbed Miika by the shoulder. - You stay put! I want to see you tomorrow! Did you do this?! – He growled under the voice so nobody else hears him. 

Miika was still calm. – If you believe that, why did you say nothing to cops? – He tilted his head, intrigued. – You said I was your friend. Am I? 

Friends don’t burn each other’s real estates, you bloody moron! – Jaska’s eyes were about to bulge out. 

And yet you covered for me. Why? 

Because if you did it, it was Markus’s doing. And because there may be still hope for you, you fucking Pinocchio. 

Miika let the words sink in. He seemed satisfied with the answer. 

And yes, I did call you a friend. Well, now, my friend – Jaska emphasized the word ‘friend’ – you will come here tomorrow afternoon and show your friendship by telling me all you know about Markus’s further plans. I covered for you. Now you give me something in return. That’s how friendship works. 

Fair enough. 

Bloody is. 

How do you know Miika? – Asked Jari over a mug of steaming tea. He and Jaska sat in the closest little 24/7 café they could find. Chairs were plastic and uncomfortable, but it was clean enough and open. 

He comes to the shelter. 

He doesn’t look like he needs your help.

Depends on the kind of help.

Well, be careful with him. He’s not completely right in the head. 

Jaska just smirked. – None of the people I know is, so far as I can tell. Why? 

Jari couldn’t remember everything as it happened a long time ago, but he remembers his and Miika’s parents used to work together when they were little kids, ten or so. Then Miika’s family moved away and they lost contact. Some years later, Jari heard that Miika’s parents divorced and he had difficulties fitting in in the new school. He pushed one of the students under an approaching car in the street. It was a miracle the other boy got away unharmed. Other kids saw everything and told it to teachers and parents. It was found out that he tried to push the same boy out of the window a couple of days earlier, when they were alone in the classroom during the recess. To tell the truth, Jari also heard that this victim boy was no victim at all, bullying Miika from the moment he came to the new school. 

All I’m saying – Jari concluded – is that it would be so you to try to fix him, but it might backfire. 

***** 

Deeper in the park there was a man observing everything calmly. He called Markus. Markus was expecting him to call. 

Your boy fucked it up. Set the fire and everything, but didn’t check the inside. Jaska was there. He actually helped Jaska. Fire brigade came in, police, the whole lot. 

Markus sighed in irritation. – Ok, leave it be. Pay Ivana a visit tomorrow. Let’s see if she delivers.


	61. Dancefloor duties

The dance night was something Marko could easily have skipped was it his call, but it wasn’t, as Andrea seemed particularly intent on seeing him dance on the dance floor with her. Such a sight for his eyes she was when she was ready. A tight sequined emerald green dress was hugging her svelte body. A slightly deeper V cut, three-quarter sleeves, mid-thing length, an intriguing and implying silhouette left Marko amazed. 

You look pretty – He said, looking at her long, thick hair falling down the middle of her back in a tight fishbone braid.

Pretty? And there I was, thinking I looked smokin’ hot! But my lover, apparently, thinks I’m just pretty – She mock-complained. 

Something in the middle of her little speech caught Marko’s attention. - Lover?

Are you not? – She shrugged her shoulders, smiling knowingly at him. – You know, you said a lot of interesting things the night we met. If I remember correctly, you asked something like why I didn’t leave you, because you are not my boss, friend or lover. 

Marko instantly knew what she was talking about. He raised his eyebrows, caught off-guard. 

You know, I didn’t understand at that moment why you said that word. Of course you were not my lover! Why would you even mention that? And in such a situation? But I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. 

Bloody hell, Andrea. You really have a good memory inside that head of yours – Marko tried to crack a joke, but Andrea would not have the conversation flow into a different direction. 

And then I’ve reached the only possible conclusion. 

Marko dared not say a thing. Breath suspended, he waited to hear what it was she concluded. 

Oh, I’m not going to tell you now! Grab that jacket and let’s go dancing!

The bar where the dance night took place looked rather cozy. Not many dancers and couples were around, but then it wasn’t a big bar, so it was ok. The DJ was successfully mixing old hits with the new ones creating good vibrations. As soon as they’ve had the first sips of their drinks, Andrea grabbed Marko’s hand to push and pull him to the dance floor. He hesitated, shaking his head, grimacing. 

C’mon! You look pretty, too! – She meant it. Dark grey shirt and jeans flattered his already masculine physique. Such a fit and handsome male, she thought. To that day Andrea couldn’t believe the strange circumstances of two of them meeting, nor the fact that, as it seems, he really was interested in her. She knew she was charming and funny, and rather good-looking, but none of that had so far been a guarantee of any success with finding a man who would really be interested in her. And this one was. She would enjoy unwrapping him from that fine shirt and jeans later. But right now, she wanted him to dance, and he was stubbornly refusing to do so. 

Afraid Jaska is a better dancer? – She released an arrow. Bullseye! There were traces of jealousy in his eyes. 

Jaska again, he thought. – No. I just don’t feel like dancing. A little later. – He tried to stay calm. 

A little later and the night will be over. I grabbed his butt, you know. - Marko raised his eyebrows, but still wouldn’t move to the dance floor. Andrea leaned a little closer, got up on her toes and whispered into his ear: - And don’t think I don’t fantasize about Olli, too, cornering him somewhere and unbuttoning his shirt, the guy seems to looove wearing shirts…

Marko gasped in disbelief, wrapped his arms around Andrea, lifted her off the floor and carried her in the middle of the dancing crowd, not minding her protesting shrieks and chuckles. Standing behind her, he run his hands up and down her arms, cleverly avoiding her attempts to face him by swirling and turning as quickly as she did, sometimes in the same direction, sometimes in the opposite. His face would appear at the edge of her vision, and disappear back again, his hands would land on her body sending light shock waves with every tender touch, but he kept eluding her. She wanted to face him, but he went so far as so pin her to himself with his arm, not letting her to turn around. His right arm across her breasts and holding down her arms, his left hand resting on her left hip they swayed to the loud music, their bodies the closest they had ever been prior to that moment. He whispered into her ear now: 

Still fantasizing about my guys?


	62. The birthday present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little word play dedicated to the recently finished The Morpho Catalyst by MyDarkDisquiet, almost at the end of the chapter ;)

Marko was pouring them wine, after having put two chunky pieces of wood into the fireplace. Andrea sat on the lazy bag, still slightly shivering in her long winter jacket. After the dance they took a little walk around the resort, not venturing deeper in the woods. She smiled when he gave her a glass of wine. A little violet shaded lamp was the only light in, except for the trembling flames that casted long shadows inside the room. Leaving nothing to the case, Marko brought his speakers and music along, so they have a nice set-up. Concentrated on plugging his gizmos spread on a shelf he startled when he felt a touch on his back, lowering down. The touch did not stop, weaving intricate patterns across his shoulder blades and lower back.

It’s called Freudian slip, you know. – She murmured, brushing her face along his back. 

What is? 

Back then… when you said you weren’t my family, nor boss, nor lover. Now, why, in your right mind, would you use precisely that word in that situation? – Her hands were caressing his chest and stomach now, clutching onto the nearest button and undoing it slowly. – Because your dirty little mind was just expressing your hidden desire that you be my lover.

Marko’s brows shoot up, followed by a surprised exhalation. 

Which means you liked me from the first sight! – She concluded, a ringing sound of victory in her voice. She grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him to face her, seeing the fleeting expression of amusement and agreeing on his face. 

While, in turn, you called me an ‘ugly beep beep’ – Marko added. The emerald dress fit her perfectly, he mused, but the dress will have to go soon. His hand found its way to her neck and shoulder, making her close her eyes from the sensation. He nudged her gently to their place in front of the fire, where they sat, still facing each other. 

I prefer Jung to Freud – Andrea whispered as he lay her down to the thick, soft, fur-like covers on the floor. 

Yes, Andrea, we’ll get to Jung, eventually – He finalizing their small talk with a deep kiss, looking at her from above. She pushed up a little to release her hair from the already undone fishbone braid. The movement of her shoulder, the glisten of a dark gold earring, Marko memorized them all. Music and fire lulled their memories of the world beyond their cabin door. It took some ungraceful fumbling and laughter to free from clothes, with a lot of stops to mutually marvel at their lover’s revealing body, but the clothes found their way off their bodies in the end. 

I liked you from the first moment, too, but it took me a while to realize it. And when you started taking your clothes off on the back seat… I took photos of you, because you were so incredibly hot! – Andrea told, finishing her sentence with a light bite on Marko’s neck. 

You never told me you took photos of me then!

Oh, I did. That’s one of the reasons I was so keen on finding you! 

Nothing outside that cabin held any significance no longer. The whole world could burn, with these two oblivious for anything happening anywhere but there. All that mattered was this coil of romantic, erotic and mental intimacy the two were fueling with their lust. Marko was thirsty for her love, subconsciously aware that he could get everything he ever needed this way. Andrea longed for the comfort of his loving arms, chasing away the shadows that were gaining on them. Desire reflected in their eyes, their hearts and bodies yearning simultaneously. The physical craving was unstoppable, building up with every brush over skin, every ripple of a muscle, every hungry caress of a lover’s lean and inviting body. 

Going down the memory lane, Marko admitted to himself that he was interested in the young woman laying below him from the first moments when he sat behind her in her car that fatal night. Consumed with planning how to get out of the town, he took little notice of his internal state, but he clearly remembered looking at her eyes in the rearview mirror, thinking they were pretty. And that zipper that almost drove him insane, well, he would’ve preferred had she taken the jacket off, instead, she just zipped herself all the way up. And there she was, zipped in nothing more than firelight and shadows quivering across her body. The tension that has been building up for too long would have to be released. Those dark blue eyes were assuring him he is welcome, and her soft hips adjusted for a better position. Lowering down to his elbows he entered a tender and tight embrace of her whole body.

Titillated, Andrea was amazed by the raw energy of Marko’s body who, at moments, picked her up and positioned her as if she was nothing more than a puppet in his arms. She shrieked and gasped more than once, letting these unwilling cries of excitement overwhelmed by his desire. She was looking at his face when it tensed for a second and he moaned, frozen like a gorgeous statue for a couple of seconds, until he opened his eyes, made a mock-exhausted face at her and tumbled down next to her. But, that was not a satisfying end for Andrea, and she made it clear. 

Now, Marko, darling, be a good boy and … - she whispered a couple of words into his ears. He grinned and re-positioned to fulfil her need the best way possible. Pleasure started spreading through Andrea as Marko applied a teasing pressure to a sensitive spot in a rhythmical manner. Her mind was shutting down, her conscience concentrated solely on getting more of that pulsating pleasure. His skillful fingers made her curl her toes in ecstasy not much later, a wide, satisfied grin spreading across her lips. 

Flames kept casting twirling shadows everywhere. 

Now would be the moment I gave you your present – Andrea sat up, shrouding herself in the blanket that was covering them, which left Marko completely naked, lying on stomach.

Hey! – He protested, and leaned on an elbow.

What? I’m a lady, I can’t go around nude. Plus, I wanted another peek of that delicious body of yours – She said, spanking him on the butt, which made him roll his eyes and laugh, and went to her bag near the lamp. 

Marko watched her return and hand him a small white envelope. – I know it’s not romantic – She started, all apologetic – but I’ve been thinking about giving this to you since I heard… well, open it and see. - Andrea sat next to him, wrapping them both in the blanket.

What could it be, thought Marko when he took the light envelope in his hand. There was only one way of finding out. Inside the envelope there was a gift card for individualized career development and a leaflet explaining most popular courses. 

An acquaintance of mine is a personal career development coach, who takes her work very seriously. This gift card is for a two months’ personalized course she would prepare to suit your specific skills and interests. She’s actually really good at it, I’ve seen people blossom professionally after she’s done with them. – Andrea finished out of breath, thinking that this was a lousy birthday present idea after all. 

Marko’s silence did nothing to assuage her worries about the ill-chosen present. He pondered, not taking his eyes of the gift card. He absolutely and undoubtedly hated it, she thought in terror. Was he frowning? He looked so serious. Did she somehow offend him by giving him this gift card?!

When he finally did speak, his initial words were heavy and his voice was coarse, as if under a sudden wave of emotion - With the exception of Olli and Jaska, and Tiia, for that matter, I can’t remember the last time somebody took the time to consider what I might need. 

Oh, god! So, you don’t hate it? – Andrea asked with a baited breath, releasing only half of her suspense to hear his final judgement. 

There were moments when Marko saw himself as an ugly, messed up jigsaw puzzle. Some pieces were missing, some were there but smeared over so it was impossible to know where they should be placed. This person in front of him, shuddering under a blanket they shared and staring at him achieved something he thought could never be achieved. Flying under the radar, she cleaned some of the smeared parts making it clear where they should go and she replaced some of the missing parts with her fearless compassion and unyielding kindness. A strangest idea came to him. He could almost feel pieces finding their places. It wasn’t just a tactile experience; it was a visual one, as well. Every time a piece fit its slot, it would start glowing a little. If he closed his eyes and focused, he would see the glow which had been almost completely extinguished for too long. Is it even possible that one person can have such a profound impact on another person? 

How could I hate it, my fierce friend? My fierce lover? – He kissed her, trying to lighten the atmosphere. – I’ll put it this way. Remember your back window, the one I smashed into pieces, when…yes? Do you remember? – She smiled and nodded. – Of course you do. – He kissed her on the head, and held her in his arms. – Imagine I was that window. And now imagine seeing those shreds of glass flying up from the floor and in a backwards motion, fitting in right where they stood before the impact, without even so much as a hairline crack among them. Does this make any sense to you? 

Andrea exhaled, hit by his words. He has just confessed how much of a catalyst she was for him, triggering his metamorphosis from the cocoon to a graceful butterfly, a creature of light, she had a feeling he could be. 

It does. It makes perfect sense – She said. He looked her in the eyes and saw she understood every word he had said.


	63. Sunday plans going awry

Markus felt really good. Last night Miika set fire to Jaska’s shelter, as instructed. Even though with some unpredicted twists, like not checking was it empty and eventually helping Jaska extinguish it, it was still a success, in terms that the damage was done. The terror Jaska must have felt watching flames that could have consumed his life’s work made Markus snigger. For a second there, Markus wondered why it was that every little thing he planned for Marko so far had deviated somehow. When his crew kidnapped him, he was with Andrea, and she bought enough time with her drama for Jaska to come to the rescue. On the book promotion fiasco, what seemed like a trap for Marko also ended different from Markus’s original plan, and once again, Andrea played some part in it. The arson Miika should’ve performed also failed; not completely, as some substantial damage was done nonetheless, but it didn’t go in accordance with his plan. Funny thought. A thought that led to a small glimpse of the past. 

Having a strong will and plenty of influence, it was never hard for Markus to be noticed and admired, even feared, which was especially intoxicating feeling for him. Other students either avoided him completely or treated him with due respect, which he also loved. Whatever perceived problem he had, it would easily be solved with a few phone calls and some money. One of the first things he learnt about the world was that money makes the world go round. He felt he was better than that crowd of simpletons surrounding him, but he still reveled in their appreciation. His secrets were safe, his mental body armor was on all the time until it fully grew in, became an inseparable part of his identity, detaching him almost completely from other human beings, Marko possibly being the sole exception, the one single human he treated as a human, to the extent he was able to, and wanted to. So, how was it that Marko, messed up almost as badly as he himself, was able to open up to other people as well, and get their full support? Markus pondered about it for months, catching glimpses of sporadic interaction Marko had with Jaska, and, especially, Olli. Jaska and Olli knew Marko’s secrets, too. How can it be that he exposed himself to them, wearing his heart on the sleeve, and they did nothing bad to him, supporting him, instead? What sort of relation was that, anyway? And Marko never took them to expensive dinners, never flashed them with his money or influence, since he had none of those. How did he have such power over them without buying them or coercing them into submission?! 

Still, that chain of thought left him soon enough as it was time to focus on the next person important to his ex college buddy; it was time to shake and stir Olli, that stoic and supportive guy who has been Marko’s closest friend his whole life. He smiled in anticipation. 

He called one person, then the other. Then he called the first person again. – Go up. 

***** 

A little before Sunday noon Ivana was preparing the dishes for the washing machine, anticipating seeing Olli in a couple of hours. He texted her last night. She responded. In total more than a dozen texts were exchanged. She cherished each one of them, re-reading them, memorizing them, slowly realizing how much these texts meant to her. How much Olli meant to her. 

A ring was heard. She rinsed her hands, dried them and found it unsettling to read Markus’s name on the display. 

Yes?

Are you home?

Yes, I am.

Good. I need you to do something. I’m sending somebody over. He’ll explain everything. Do exactly as he says. 

What? I have plans, I’m leaving home in an hour or so - 

He’s coming up. Do what he says. He’ll explain. 

And that was it. She frowned, feeling her stomach tie in a knot. Something was going to go awry. Another ring, this time a doorbell, made her jump. Already?! That person must have been in front of the building when Markus called her. That manipulative, pre-planning bastard. 

Upon opening the door, she saw an unknown man. He told her he was sent by Markus and she let him in. Something about him was familiar, and she may have seen him going in or out of Markus’s office at times, but they were never introduced. Ushered into the living room, the man sat on the couch and gave her a smile. 

Nothing to worry about, but I’m gonna stay here for a while.

She frowned. – I’m supposed to meet someone. I can’t stay inside. - What she heard next sent shivers down her spine. 

Yeah, about that… I’m gonna need your phone. You’re not going anywhere in the next couple of hours, and you’re definitely not going to see Olli. That’s why I’m here. Now give me your phone. 

Ivana wanted to sit down, afraid her legs were going to collapse under her, but put on a brave face anyway. – I’m not going to give you my phone. Who I see is my business. 

Well, no, it’s not – The kind looking man started explaining, calmly as if talking to a child. – See, I know about the plan… and your part in getting to Olli, and, through him, to Marko. Markus felt you might forget the true nature of your role here. That’s why he sent me. You were supposed to make that poor sod fall for you, and then you were/are supposed to make him suffer. You were supposed to be nothing but a tease. I’m here to help you out play the part to its end. See, we’re on the same side here – He finished with a smile, the kindness in his dark blue eyes making her shudder inside. 

Where was the bloody phone, she wondered nervously, but the moment she saw it, on the power, he saw it, too. She just heard ‘A-a’ and by the time she moved toward it he was already taking the phone in his hand. He even gestured a distance between them with an arm – Markus sent me to do this. Don’t resist. – He sat back to his spot, gloating in victory, and fixing strands of hair that fell over his face. That’s what she recognized him for. His hairstyle. Everything was shaven bare, save for the top of his head, where dark hair going grey stood up resisting gravity.


	64. You’ve just traded one bully for another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaska working some of his magic on beautifully broken Miika ;)

The dining room was badly burnt, wet and practically useless. Since the early morning service men were clearing the area. An unexpected cost worried Jaska, as the money was always tight, but he needed to have the room cleared out as soon as possible to regain its functionality. Luckily, the rest of the shelter was just charred. As the morning progressed into day, some shelter users came and helped as well. There was still enough food for Jaska to improvise some meals, sharing them from the sidewalk in front of the shelter. And then he spotted Miika coming. 

A word with you… friend! – He exclaimed, leaving one of the homeless guys in charge of meal distribution. 

So, tell me, what’s Markus planning to do next? – Jaska demanded to know as soon as they were out of anyone’s earshot. 

I don’t know. 

Well, that’s not good enough, friend. Start speaking. I’ll guide you. 

All I know is that I, and one more person, had the task of coming to you and one more in your crew and ask you to come work for Markus. 

Yeah, Ivana was after Olli. I already knew that. What’s next? 

Not sure, but it will be soon, I think. 

Jaska sighed and raised eyebrows. – As soon as you hear anything, you let me know. You owe it to me, remember? – His eyes became tight slits of blue. – Do you have any remorse for doing what you did last night? If I had not been in there, it would’ve burnt to the ground, leaving all these people without meal for who knows how long. Look at them! – He yelled. Then he decided to switch to another story, without any introduction, for maximal punch. – Jari told me about your school troubles. You basically tried to kill that boy, twice? – He tilted his head, to get a better look at this man. Surprise. An emotion, finally. He can’t stop now. – Chances are you had a damn good reason. Nobody does that for nothing. – Miika blinked; an equivalent of another man gasping or stumbling. Jaska grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. – Miika! Hey! Don’t for a second think that Markus is any better than that boy. You’ve just traded one bully for another. Two wrongs don’t make it right. Think about that! Fighting that boy had a reason behind it. What reason did you have for burning everything last night? Would that idea ever have come to your mind if Markus hadn’t planted it there? Ha? He’s protecting you? From whom?! Look what he made you do! – And he grabbed Miika’s chin to make him face the shelter. – Look what he made you do! 

Get your hands off me! – Miika yelled and wiggled out of Jaska’s arms. 

Oh! Automaton is a real boy, after all! – Jaska exclaimed. They started attracting confused looks, but neither noticed. – I’ll fucking punch you if I want to, you idiot! You’re just fucking hiding behind Markus, you coward! Whatever that school bully did to you, Markus is doing it tenfold! Open your fucking eyes!

You know nothing about me! – Miika shouted, flustered. His contorted face was red, and light eyes glistened darkly. 

You have a sad life story; well, who doesn’t?! Are you going to hide behind it till the rest of your life? And you pick bloody Markus, the king of sadistic pricks, to protect you? That’s fucking hilarious! – Jaska kept yelling, shrugging his shoulders and widening his hands. 

Fuck you! 

I’d love to! – Jaska widened his eyes and smiled for the first time, with a completely changed tone of voice, obviously deciding to take the sentence in imperative in its literal meaning. – Who’s available? 

Miika stood there, mouth open, confused beyond belief. He heard giggling; some shelter users were nudging each other and cracking jokes about the last thing their shelter owner uttered. Jaska looked around, noticing eyes on them. – What?! I would date them first; I’m a romantic soul! … Fuck, George, distribute that stew a bit faster!

Heads started averting. Jaska waited a few more seconds, staring at Miika. He couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like pieces of Miika’s façade started chipping away. 

There’s one thing I just remembered – Miika spoke. His tone was calmer, and he looked somehow different. – Markus mentioned something about keeping your friends close, but enemies closer. I think you have an insider among you. 

Now, that’s a new. – Jaska gave Miika a credit. At the same time, he felt his heart sink a little. Could it be? And who could it be? Miika’s voice startled him. 

Did you really think what you said, about Markus being just another bully? 

Jaska smiled, but this was a sad smile. – Yes, I guarantee you. A friend of mine, well, Marko, is the living proof of what good it is to have Markus close to you. 

I never heard what went on between them. I asked Markus, but he avoided a clear answer. – Miika continued. 

It’s not up to me to tell you the details – Jaska replied – but I can tell you one thing: Marko is still recovering from that friendship, even though it happened at least fifteen years ago.

They were friends? I thought they worked together or something. 

Oh, they were friends, alright. That’s how much of a toxic puppet master Markus really is. My advice is: run. – He sighed. – I got to go back to clearing the mess. Don’t forget to tell me the moment you hear anything. As for the Markus, I wish you told someone you trust everything that went on between the two of you, just to hear that person’s opinion and advice. See you, Miika. 

Jaska went in for a hug, and Miika put his arms around him. He then walked away. 

That sure sounds like a great advice, Jaska, Miika mused as he was walking away. He couldn’t tell Jaska that there was no way of taking that advice, for a simple reason. Miika didn’t have anyone he trusted. He didn’t have a single friend. And he remembered having friends in his first school. He didn’t think about them for a long time. He remembered having Jari as a friend. Suddenly, he felt sharp pain inside. He froze and gasped. A heart attack?! Few seconds passed, him waiting with a baited breath, afraid to make a move. No, it seemed like he was ok, physically. He felt an urge, however, the urge to release some long surpressed sadness, despair, and fear. He felt the urge to cry. He hastened his step, got into a car, and made it home as quickly as he could. He locked the door behind him. It was a gloomy day, and his apartment was gloomy as well, but he turned on no lights. 

‘Fighting that boy had a reason behind it. What reason did you have for burning everything last night?’ – Jaska’s words hit the spot and cut deeply. ‘Whatever that school bully did to you, Markus is doing it tenfold!’ There was no one to turn to, because he did not have any friends, nobody who would give him an honest advice. ‘You’ve just traded one bully for another’ kept ringing. Miika’s face was wet from silent sobs that were tearing him inside out.


	65. What's there to like?

Oh, look! Olli’s texting! – The man smirked cruelly. Ivana was watching a catastrophe unfold in front of her. Is he about to answer Olli’s texts in her stead?! Markus’s thug looked at her as if reading her mind. – You seem at unease. Look at it this way. I’ll crush Olli’s hopes and dreams for you. You just sit back. I’ll even read everything to you – He winked. – He wrote: ‘See you in half an hour, kisses.’ Awww! Little blondie wants to kiss you! I’m texting: ‘Not gonna happen, Olli. Not now, not ever.’ See? – And he turned the display to her so she sees it. 

Ivana shrieked in desperation. – Why are you doing this? 

Markus figured you won’t be strong enough to do it on your own. He was right, you started liking the guy. Not that I can’t…Here’s a text! ‘Has something come up? Do you want to reschedule?’ – He mockingly waved the phone in front of Ivana’s face. She fumbled to catch it but he moved it away. – Don’t touch me, Ivana, or I’ll touch you and you might not like it. What do I text?! Life has come up, Olli, you stupid, boring fucktard! Nah, it wouldn’t be believable. ‘I played you to get you for Markus. Charade’s over. Sorry If you thought I really liked you.’ Sent! – He leaned back to couch, lifting his feet up and held the phone between his knees. 

Her mind raced feverishly, Ivana was weighing her options. As soon as this idiot leaves, she’ll go find Olli, camping in front of his practice if necessary. She needs to see him and explain what’s going on. He will be thinking the worst about her now! He’ll think he was just a toy to her! He’ll be broken and he’ll hate her! 

Ah! ‘Then why did you text me last night? Why don’t we see each other and you tell me what’s wrong?’ He’s not giving up yet! He will soon! ‘I was bored. I don’t want to see you. I’m not interested in you. It was business.’ Ooooh, I’m warming up here! ‘I thought you were cleverer. You’re a shapeless, bland, dull guy. What’s there to like? It was funny how easily you believed I liked you. I hated being in that café, hoping nobody would see us together. Nothing special about you, average in every way.’

He paused texting and reading to look at Ivana. She just stared silently in front of her, holding her head in her hands. So, she was under surveillance. She shouldn’t even be surprised. 

‘Go to the gym or solarium, or die your hair if you want to find a girl. Just get off my back!’ – Another cruel dramatic pause. – Sent!

There was no way out of this, Ivana thought. ‘She’ has just made fun of Olli’s personality and physical traits. No one in their right mind would accept and forgive such disrespect. She let a long sigh. And one more. No reply from Olli. 

I’ll be leaving now. Me and another guy will be down, in a car. I’d suggest you don’t leave the building to go find Olli. Somebody’s gonna watch you till tomorrow morning. I’ll be taking your phone. Tomorrow at seven thirty go downstairs and I’ll give it back to you. 

She closed the door behind him, her body sweating in nervousness. This was not at all what she planned when she started working for Markus. It all must end. 

***** 

I might as well take the jacket off, Olli thought after realizing he’s been sitting fully dressed in his hallway for more than fifteen minutes. He hung the jacket, took off his shoes and went to the living room. He could use a brisk walk now, but he couldn’t bring himself to any action. He was angry at himself at the first place, angry, because all the signs were there, but he was stupid enough to choose to ignore them. His better judgement was the one thing he could always rely on, and what was it telling him? It was telling him from day 1 that this was just a game that they played. But what did he do? He made a conscious choice to believe Ivana instead of his own judgement. There he was, now. In all honesty, he did not expect her to be so blunt about it all, but maybe it was for the best. The fool he was, he would not have understood it otherwise. Well done, Olli boy, you’re in for the Oscar for the Fool for love of the year category, he mocked himself. She was so bloody convincing, and he was so eager to believe her. He rolled his eyes. She hated the café; not to mention him! She feared somebody might walk in and see her in his company. That was really harsh, to be embarrassed to be seen with him. He didn’t see himself as looking that bad, but what really mattered was that she did. He was never particularly dashing; he was well aware of that. Comparing to his friends was never a good option, but his mind took that route nevertheless. Marko had natural magnetism, and Jaska had a decent-looking face. Had Olli been in his normal state, he would’ve also concluded that Marko’s face was far from being regular, and Jaska had a few pounds more than he needed, and that neither of his buddies had a lot more luck in love than he did; but having already slipped into wallowing in self-reproaching and self-pitty, Olli did not make these conclusions. 

Instead, he was mentally whispering to himself that he might as well give up on ever finding romance and love. You naïve nerd, he taunted himself. She finds you boring inside and outside. You did not excite her in any way, not through your talk, nor through your scarce physical attributes. What’s there to like, she texted. Really, what is there to like, he hurt himself with every recollection that burnt him like fire from within. ‘Shapeless, bland, dull’? She nailed it, Olli agreed as he was reading her cruel texts over and over again. And those pieces of advice she gave him!... Wow, he had to give her credit for being a great actress for faking interest into someone whom she found so unattractive. She didn’t like his body, she didn’t like his complexion, she didn’t like his hair. She liked nothing about him. 

What he was going to tell the guys hit him next. Marko knew it from the beginning; didn’t he warn him about not ending up played? Jaska had a little more faith in him, but Marko knew Ivana could not like him for real. He will be so ashamed when he tells them what happened. 

He liked her, but she didn’t like him back. That on its own would have been enough to spoil anyone’s day or week. So, why did it hit Olli so hard? Because being found unworthy of this particular girl’s interest was in his mind blown out of proportion into believing that this was a final piece of evidence that no other girl would ever find him interesting or attractive enough. And that was a deeply disturbing idea. Years of disinterest and mild rejections have robbed him of self-confidence when it came to the opposite sex. This was just a drop that spilled the glass. 

He heard ringing. Jaska. He declined the call. Solitude is what he needs, not Jaska, not Marko, not anybody else. Years of young adult age were spent in studying and trying to make it in business. In a couple of years, he’ll be forty. He appreciated everything he has accomplished so far, and was grateful for loyal friends he had, but he always thought life was about balance, about having a little bit of everything. The fact that he did not have a girlfriend or wife by now, a person to share his life with, made him miserable, and this last blow was just a reminder he would never find that person. 

Jaska again. Olli declined the call once more, frowning. What does he want now? I just want to be left alone, he thought.


	66. Back to reality

They woke up early, but leaving the cozy bed was another thing. Marko set his alarm twice during the night to put more wood in the fireplace, so he doesn’t have to start the fire from scratch in the morning. The result was an unbelievably warm cabin. A simple breakfast in the resort café consisted of strong food, like bacon and eggs, topped with crumpets with butter and honey. Andrea couldn’t remember the last time she had crumpets, enjoying them immensely and making Marko shake his head in amusement. After breakfast they went out to the woods. It had started snowing last night and there were less trekkers around. Yet, the cold weather would allow them for only so much walking, and they were back in the cabin in the early afternoon. 

Are you thinking about what your guys are doing right now? – Andrea asked while Marko was putting another log in the fire. He sat next to her, leaning on an arm. Andrea was hugging her knees. 

I am. Jaska’s probably serving lunch, it is that time of day. Olli… I hope he’s with Ivana – He smiled.

Olli’s dating someone?! You didn’t tell me that! – Andrea exclaimed. 

Why would I? – Marko raised his eyebrows and smiled at her – It’s a bit complicated, but… Oh, why the hell not. Remember the publishing of that book, when Markus almost called the police to take me? Well, it wasn’t long until Markus has sent his emissaries… - Marko explained about Ivana and Miika. Andrea was asking questions, to which Marko answered as clearly as he could. 

Wow… I mean, wow. That guy never rests. And he got his so-called answers this Thursday? Three days ago? 

Yes. I specifically asked both Olli and Jaska to give us some ‘alone time’, but I guess they would’ve called me if anything out of ordinary happened. I last heard from them on Friday night, I was packing up and texting with them. 

Neither of them knew at that moment that Jaska’s shelter was badly burnt and he was serving the lunch from the sidewalk, nor that Olli was closing up like never before through what he perceived as offensive mocking of his imperfections. 

Simple cuddling could do wonders. Andrea’s inquisitive hands were roaming over Marko’s body. No eye contact was made, the fire being the object they admired visually, but the subtle body communication was speaking volumes. At first Marko used to flinch upon being touched all of a sudden. In time, he learnt to let go knowing it was Andrea who made a mental map of his body shape. Occasional glances and smiles, a tender word or two, and incessantly comforting exchange of physical and mental warmth. 

Packing up brought some melancholy. Why should they ever leave this wonderful escape cabin? They had lunch at the café, with their things already in Marko’s car. Driving back felt shorter than driving to the resort, much shorter than either hoped it would be. There were still so many things to say, and so many more kisses and touches to share. Marko drove Andrea home and helped her with her suitcase. A few more tender caresses, and that was it.

Almost home, Marko called Olli, but his call was declined. A little unusual for Olli to decline anybody’s call, much less his, but maybe he was with Ivana and didn’t want to be disturbed. Marko parked the car, carried his suitcase upstairs and landed it in his hallway. Home. He stretched out, took his shoes and jacket off and changed into sweatpants. He called Jaska.

Hey, Jaska! I’m back, just entered the apartment. How’s everything been going? 

Well, about that - Jaska told him what happened to his shelter, and that he blackmailed Miika into helping him. So far, however, he has learnt nothing new or useful. 

Marko listened with his mouth wide open – Why on earth did you not call me? Is it because of what I said?! I didn’t mean it literally, my friend. – He heard Jaska smirk on the other side of the line. 

You kind of did say you needed some privacy, so… No, in reality, there was nothing you could do, and I didn’t want to disturb your romantic getaway, you lucky bastard.

One more thing. I called Olli, but he didn’t answer. Have you heard from him? 

Jaska didn’t start talking immediately. – I don’t know. He’s been declining my calls the whole afternoon. I know he’s seen the texts, but he’s responded to none. – He sounded worried. - Shall we go and check him out? 

Definitely.


	67. Fuck you and congratulations!

Reviewing medical histories of the patients that had appointments the next day took Olli’s mind off his latest ordeals, making him pay his attention elsewhere. A knock on the door startled him, since he didn’t expect anyone. 

Open the door, Olli, it’s us. – Jaska’s voice was heard. 

No. Not the guys, not now that he had just managed to channel his thoughts onto something more useful than feeling resentful at himself. He rolled his eyes, but remained seated. 

Olli! I’ve just come from a long drive and had to come see if you are ok. – Marko’s voice took over. – Olli, my man, I’ve been driving for hours… I need to go to bathroom. 

Yeah, Olli frowned, like I am about to believe that. 

He’s unzipping, and you’re in a nice neighborhood. - Jaska alarmed. 

He did go to a vacation with Andrea, and he might really need to go, went through Olli’s mind. Oh, fuck, when I let him in, Jaska will come inside, too, that’s what you get when you have friends, Olli thought crossed at the whole world. He got up, walked to the door and opened it. Not a second later Marko darted for the bathroom. Obviously, he wasn’t lying. Jaska followed him in, as expected. Olli rolled his eyes once again and went back to his medical files in the living room. Minutes later, his two friends were at the living room door, unsure how to ask anything. - Guys, help yourselves. I have to finish this, and I’ll be with you in ten minutes. 

Jaska shrugged his shoulders and raided the fridge, and then the cupboard, while Marko sat on the sofa, watching Olli frown over his patient’s reports. He looked up, met Marko’s gaze, and looked down. Why was he averting his eyes, Marko wondered uncomfortably. The sound of Jaska munching pretzels next to him was louder that it should have been. 

For fuck’s sake, Olli, say something! Marko is jumping each time I crack a pretzel here! – Jaska broke the silence. 

Olli twitched his head, and looked at Jaska. – You, Jaska, were wrong. I never should have listened to you. Taking your advice on how to approach Ivana! Thanks for nothing! 

Jaska startled, spreading his arms in surprise. – What did I do wrong?! I only remember pushing you, nudging you in the right direction. – Olli was never mad at him, and Jaska did not know what to do or say. 

Nudging me in the right direction? I made a fool of myself for taking your advice! – Olli shouted from behind his table, his clean voice edgier than it ever was.  


Why the fuck are you so mad? What the hell happened? – Jaska’s eyes widened. He fought to speak normally as he was choked with sudden pang of anguish. – I never did anything to willfully wrong you, Olli-boy. - His face was red and he was breathing heavily. – Why would I do something bad to you?!

C’mon, Olli, no need to take it out on Jaska. – Marko tried to calm everyone down. This was the first time Olli was angry at Jaska, and it was an ugly sight. 

And you! – Olli stood up, locking his eyes to Marko’s. – You! – Marko felt a lump in his throat as Olli came and stood in front of him. – You fucking knew how that was going to end. – Olli’s lips were pressed tight and he was looking at Marko with an intense feeling Marko interpreted as something dangerously close to hatred. He smiled a terrible mocking smile down at him. His open hands, theatrical movements, there was something awfully familiar about it. And rising and falling pattern of his voice was someone else’s entirely. Was Olli… Was Olli imitating him? – Because Marko knows what Olli is like. – The word ‘knows’ was stressed. Olli’s eyes pierced him mercilessly. Viciously. – Marko knows that there can be no happy ending for Olli, right, Marko? Well, fuck you, Marko, and congratulations for being right!

Apart from having a history of mental problems, Marko could easily hold the title of the shrewdest person Olli has ever met. The way his mind operated, when it operated correctly, was simply brilliant. Never before or again has Olli met anyone with such accurate insight into other people’s psychology and motivation that drove them. Being warned by Marko that his little romance with Ivana might fail and leave him scarred, and having seen everything go exactly as that mind wizard had foretold was an undeniable sign to Olli that he would be hurt every time he tries to pull out something similar. Of course Marko predicted it. Of course Marko was not to be blamed, but Olli might at least make him feel miserable about being so insightful. And Jaska, oh, Jaska believed every problem can be solved in bed. Well, Jaska had it coming for making Olli believe he might have a shot at Ivana. 

Jaska forgot about the pretzel in his hand, unable to believe the sight in front of him. Olli was towering above Marko, menacing like a ticking bomb. If he didn’t know Olli better, he would have thought Olli was about to physically attack Marko. From what he just witnessed, he concluded it would not be completely impossible for such an action to happen still. Only seconds ago he was literally mimicking some of Marko’s movements. Why would he mock one of his best friends? Marko was all hunched down on the sofa, his eyes glued to the tips of his feet. The poor guy dared not to breathe. Olli’s words allowed for a vague presumption that something went wrong with Ivana. 

Ok, Olli, you scared the shit out of us. You win. – Jaska said, acknowledging defeat in a battle he wasn’t sure who fought or why. – Now, why don’t you sit with us, pour yourself something and tell us what happened? 

*****

Sleep did not come lightly to Jaska that night. Tossing and turning in his bed, he could not believe the anxiety and pressure which were boiling just beneath Olli’s calm and polite surface all that time. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. Why was Olli so reserved? Why did he keep everything so bottled up? And that bloody tease just had to walk inside his life, give him a taste of what he craved for and show him that he would never have it. But Markus was behind it all. 

In the other part of the city, Marko was having the same thoughts. Only his went a little further. Seeing Olli messed up and not being able to help him, the way Olli has helped Marko so many times, was a pure torture. He felt so protective of Olli, outrageous at the fact that Markus went so far as to hurt Olli just to mess with him. Jaska’s shelter. Olli’s feelings. Markus had to be stopped.


	68. City administration balcony

It was seven twenty-five when Ivana made her way downstairs, to get her phone and go to work. The man from yesterday came out of a car parked in front of her building at seven thirty sharp. He smiled as if they were close friends. 

Here’s your phone. You’ll understand that, well, I’ll know if you try to contact Olli – He winked. – Also, I would suggest you come home straight from your work, so I don’t have to follow you to where Olli lives. – He added. Ivana took her phone and walked away. Ivana was an accountant in the city administration and her workplace was close to where she lived. Calling or texting Olli was out of the question, she thought in frustration, and so was her previous plan of going to his work. Direct contact could not be performed. How about an indirect one? Two missing links between her and Olli have just come to her mind. And when modern communication technology fails, there’s always the good old writing on paper. She smiled and hurried to work. 

Bumping into Miika proved to be mission impossible, although they worked on the same floor. They were in different departments, and had no business together. As hours slowly drew on, Ivana grew desperate to get in touch with him. At four, an hour before leaving, she could wait no more. Under a pretext of going to make herself a coffee in the common cuisine, she knocked on the door of the office where Miika worked. Every of the five people inside were a little surprised to see her. They all saw each other in hallways, but she never entered that particular office. 

Hi, everyone! Pardon for intrusion, but I need Miika now. – She smiled as if she was sorry to bother them. Having thought of no clever reason to say as to why she needed Miika, she decided not to state any reason at all. 

Miika was more than surprised when he saw Ivana in his office and when she asked for him. – Really? – He asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Ivana cursed, mentally. – Yes. Will you help me, please? 

Miika shrugged his shoulders and got up, following her outside and closing the door behind him. She took him to a small closed balcony, which was a great place during the summer, but terribly chilly at the moment. However, it was empty and nobody could come close to them without being seen from a distance. 

Miika, I need you to do me a favour. – She started, not beating about the bush. 

Lips pursed, Miika was thinking. – Why would I do that? 

Ivana rolled her eyes. – Fair question. We’re not close friends or anything. Look, I’ll tell you something and you decide whether you do it or not. If you decide to do it, I owe you one, a big one, and you can ask whatever you want from me later. – That meant putting herself in a potentially bad position, because such a promise could backfire, but Ivana meant every word. – You were sent to Jaska, and I was sent to Olli, that other guy. Something went wrong yesterday. I… I was about to meet Olli, but Markus sent someone, and that guy took my phone and wrote all sorts of ugly things to Olli pretending to be me. I can’t phone him, text him or go to him, and I want to make it right. – Ivana sighed. Miika’s face never changed. That guy was like an ice block. What was she thinking, believing he would understand? But, he was the only one she could use to get to Olli. 

You were going to meet Olli yesterday? But, we talked to them on Thursday, so we could inform Markus whether they would join him or not. On Thursday. So, how come you were meeting Olli yesterday, three days later? – Miika looked puzzled. He noticed she looked angry and offended all of a sudden. 

It’s none of your bloody business, was the first thing on Ivana’s mind, but she knew better than to say it. If she snaps at Miika, he can simply walk away. Calm down. Miika has no fault in this. And the more he knows, the higher the chances of helping her. At that point, her least worry was whether Miika or Jaska will see her as pathetic. Olli was important. – I… - She cleared her throat – I like him, ok? And I don’t want him to think I meant any of what he saw in those awful texts.

Ivana liked Olli, Miika thought, a slight smile escaping his lips. Ivana saw Miika smiling, but only for a moment, and she thought her mind was playing tricks on her.  


There’s a letter, a real letter on a piece of paper for Olli, here. This is where you come in. Give this to Jaska, and tell him it’s for Olli. – A letter in an envelope found its way to Miika’s hand. – You can read it, at this point I really don’t mind; Jaska can read it, too. Just give it to him. And inside the envelope there’s something else for Jaska. 

Miika noticed that the envelope was unexpectedly heavy, and when he opened it he found the reason for it; a small memory stick. He raised eyebrows. 

This could hurt Markus’s reputation during the election race. Some serious things on it, contracts that should not be signed by him, but are, all related to purchase of different areas of land that were bought as agricultural, but then re-branded and used as attractive industrial and housing areas. The sums, the dates, everything. – She paused, looking into Miika’s light eyes. He was clever and decent, but dependent on Markus in ways she could not, and did not want to, understand. This was a gamble. – I like Olli. Did you like Jaska? I know that they are friends. If you give these things to Jaska, we help both of them. 

And cross Markus. – Miika added. 

Yes. There’s no denying that. Still, personally, I never ever want to be in a situation I was in yesterday. So, it’s up to you. Will you do it? – She asked. Miika’s face went just milimetres up and down in a repeated motion, but that was all Ivana was asking for. There was one more little piece of paper for him, her phone number, which he should not use any time soon, but she felt he should have in case of emergency. She asked for and wrote down his number on another piece of paper. They agreed to see each other on that little balcony the next day at half past two, and went their separate ways. 

What did she want? – Somebody asked Miika when he sat at his desk. 

A personal advice on shares. – He answered. It was his specialty, after all. The answer seemed to have satisfied everyone. He continued the task he was doing before being interrupted. A part of the conversation came back to him. Ivana asked him if he liked Jaska, but gave him no time to answer it. Yes, he liked Jaska. And he owed him because Jaska did not make him a suspect for arson to the police two nights ago. This was, actually, just the way Jaska was hoping Miika could help him, and Miika was ready to repay the favour. 

Nobody was looking at Miika at the office. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t, because everyone was sitting behind huge screens. Had anyone looked at his face, though, they would have seen resolution and pride there, two emotions that had not been there for a long time.


	69. A love letter

Miika went straight to Jaska’s shelter after his work hours. The dining room with charred walls, gaping empty was a brutal reminder of what he did only two nights ago. A new glass pane was set up but the room was still out of function. Several shelter users stood outside, shifting from one foot to another in the cold. Someone said hi to him and he said hi in return as he went to the little back room where he expected to find Jaska. To show that the shelter was still operating, Jaska opened all doors and turned on lights in the little hallway and the back room where he was sitting at his table in a winter jacket. Miika noticed bags under Jaska’s eyes, disheveled hair, stubble of a beard. 

You told me to come as soon as I have something for you. 

I must admit I didn’t expect you so soon. What do you have? 

A love letter, I guess, and a memory stick. 

Jaska burst out laughing, sure he misunderstood something. He calmed down, his lips still wide in a smile. – Did you say you have a love letter? I didn’t sleep well and I swear to God I thought you said you had a love letter. – Miika reached out in his jacket pocket and brought forth an envelope, which probably contained the said love letter. Jaska’s eyebrows went up. – Who is it for? Is it for me? 

No. An acquaintance of mine, Ivana, we talked about her, remember? – Miika started, and Jaska nodded. – She wrote this for that friend of yours, Olli, the medic. If I understood correctly, she was about to meet him, but Markus sent someone at her place and that person texted instead of her. Her phone was then taken, and she was threatened not to call Olli or go at his place after work. She told me to give the letter to you, so you give it to Olli. She said you and I can read it, she wouldn't mind. I didn’t read it. I know enough, and that is too personal. 

Jaska straightened up, stretching his arms. – So, that’s what it was! What a fucking mess. And the memory?

Things that can bring Markus down. Very detailed, she assured me. 

The shelter owner directed his gaze up at the slender figure of the man standing in front of him. The man with the square glasses and a hat looked at the surface of the desk. He might fall down with Markus, if the data proves to be useful. 

How long have you known Markus? 

Thirteen years. 

Being tied to that manipulator for so long must have left consequences. Jaska felt sorry for Miika. Markus is his only factor of stability, as horrible and crippling as it is, and if Miika loses that, he probably stays alone. It is almost a rule that people in his situation do not have support from friends or family, otherwise they would not find themselves in his situation in the first place, or would have broken free somehow. - You know you can always come here, in case you need anything? Thanks, man. 

Miika gave a small smile in the corner of his mouth and went out. 

Olli was due to come by later to bring some supplies, so he’ll just give the letter to him then. As for the stick, he was dying to see what’s on it. After checking for viruses and a quick scan, he whizzed. Marko will love this. He copied everything and sent it to Marko’s email address. Who knew that Olli’s femme fatale would drop all that right into their hands! Speaking of the devil, Jaska thought when he saw Olli carrying two boxes of medical kit and supplies and placing them on a night stand in the corner. He stood up, went around the desk, hugged his friend and tapped him on the back. 

Olli the man! Thanks for these. One of the guys smashed his head and he’s bruised up pretty badly. Can you look at him? He’s outside.

Sure, send him in. – Olli replied, taking his jacket off. The old man came in. Olli removed his poorly fixed and bloody bandage and replaced it with a new one, after cleaning the cut thoroughly. 

How did you get this? – He asked. 

I can’t remember. – The man just waved his hand. Olli looked at Jaska, but Jaska just shrugged his shoulders. It was soon over, and the man left the room. Olli learnt pretty quickly that sometimes patients don’t share information, even if it is in their own best interest. 

He came in two weeks ago. – Jaska said. – Never says a word about what happened. Now, on something else. – His face lit up in a second, making Olli smile in amusement. – I have a love letter for you! – He grinned. 

Olli lowered his head, waiting for a more coherent explanation. When there was none, he spoke, grinning back. – Thanks, Jaska. Knowing that you have romantic feelings toward me brightens my day and gives purpose to my existence. 

Not from me, you silly! – Jaska giggled, mock-offended like a young girl. – You fell into someone’s lie, but that was not the person you fell in love with. I know what happened… and took a little peak inside, she told I could – Jaska rushed to make that clear – I’m not making much sense, am I? Ivana gave this to Miika to give me so I can give it to you. 

Olli looked at the letter with hostility. – Nah, it’s probably just another trick. I’m not going to read it. 

Don’t blame the poor girl, my friend. She was a victim there, just as much as you were. Just, take it, and read it at home. Besides, you see this memory? Markus is going down, my man. And all thanks to that sweetheart of yours. So, take one for the team, and read the letter! – He finished, literally shoving the letter in Olli’s hands. 

Ok… I’ll read it. 

We kind of owe it to her now. - Jaska smiled wickedly. - So, if she’s willing to take you as a reward, I’ll stick a stamp to your ass and post you to her mailbox!


	70. Overboard – Nevada Roads – The Mayor

Jari was slowly going through the notes he had been making in the past hour and a half. He ran his fingers through his long, dark hair, as if to demonstrate his disbelief. – So, let me get this straight. Correct me if I don’t get everything right, yet. Markus Kaarlonen, the same guy who will be running for the Mayor next June, a big-shot politician, works as a Managing Director for Nevada Roads, a state-governed body that is responsible for state roads and motorways, choosing contractors for various purposes: building of new roads and repairing of the old ones. Who did you say he worked for a while back? 

Overboard. – Marko answered. 

Yes, Overboard. A construction company. It is the contractor of choice for most construction works under Nevada Roads. Makes sense. He is fixing his old company the best and most lucrative jobs. Overboard has monopoly; almost any work delegated by Nevada Roads is delegated to Overboard. Nevada Roads chooses Overboard because it always offers the lowest price. In return, they split the difference after the contracts get signed and real prices start rocketing. – Jari shook his head in a bittersweet smile. – But this guy aims higher. To be the Mayor. 

When he becomes the Mayor, he can fix more. – Marko added. – For example, a month ago the current Mayor signed some concessions that are valid for four years to Overboard. As the Mayor, Markus can renew the concession right before his mandate runs out. That means next four years of concessions. 

Nevada Roads has been running some illegal expropriations of land. – Jaska told. – I first heard about it years ago from a shelter guy. His land was expropriated and he was given some pitiful compensation because his plot was marked to be on the route of the future motorway. 

I heard rumors Overboard will do that, too, way before it went public. – Marko added. 

Ok… And there’s this… - Jari turned a couple of pages in his notebook. – Here. Markus also signed purchases of various plots of lands, agricultural land, the plots bought from prior owners through expropriation. However, he then sold these plots as housing areas, which makes no sense, because housing areas are preferably not to be touched by expropriation in the first place, and prior owners did not live in these areas, only had crops and meadows there. Some plots were sold to third parties as industrial areas. Both scams mean he sold the plots at prices much higher than he acquired them for… 

So far, you got everything right. – Marko nodded. 

I must say you have done a good work of covering this. The contracts, the invoices, I don’t know how you got your hands on half of these things. People who come to me to investigate and publish usually don’t have all of this. 

Marko smiled and scratched his head. – Oh, well, years of diligent undercover work. Plus, we had some unexpected help from insiders. – He winked, thinking about Ivana and Miika. At that point, he didn’t want to say to Jari that his childhood friend Miika was one of these sources. 

Ok, guys. I’ll need to sort it out and check some things myself with my crew. – Jari said, as he was getting up from a sofa in Marko’s living room. Marko saw him out. Jaska was thinking about something.

I noticed you didn’t mention Miika to Jari. Why?

Marko didn’t answer immediately. – You know why. Because of what you said the other day. Because of what Miika told you. 

That we have an insider.

Correct. 

Uncomfortable silence filled the room. Neither of the two knew where to point. The idea that someone close to him was tipping Markus the whole time robbed Marko of his peace in the few days since Jaska informed him on Miika’s revelation. His circle of friends was narrow. Any name that came to his mind as a potential insider filled him with guilt just for taking that person into consideration for such a breach of trust. 

You know, it could be a wild goose chase, but I just had an idea. – Jaska said so suddenly that Marko startled in his spot. He looked up. Jaska looked concentrated. – We don’t know what that man who came to Ivana’s place looks like. I don’t know whether to hope we recognize him after Ivana gives us a description, or not, but we can try. Oh, and let’s send Olli to do that. – He finished with a wink. 

Marko smiled, pleased with his friend’s suggestion. – Well done! You thought of everything, didn’t you? 

Well, I have my moments. – Jaska winked back.


	71. Pity he works for Markus

Leaving early was not typical of Olli, and he had a good reason to do so this time. There was a grocery shopping to do and a working person to surprise and walk home. 

Most people working in the City Administration clocked out at 5 o’clock. Little to the side he found a great observing spot while waiting for someone special. A few minutes later his patience was rewarded. Ivana was smiling and saying goodbye to a woman as she was walking down the stairs. She noticed him, smiled, and went straight to him. 

I… I took your advice. – Olli said, raising a bag with oranges theatrically in front of him. – These are for you. You said that nobody needed a doctor with a runny nose; nobody needs a … I’m sorry, what do you do in life? – Olli asked apologetically, realizing that he didn’t know what Ivana did. 

I’m a lawyer here. – Ivana answered, pointing back to the building behind her back. 

Well, nobody needs a lawyer with a runny nose, either. – He finished. It didn’t go as he planned, but the smile never left his face. She took the bag, understanding that he was referring to their ‘date’ in a supermarket, not so long ago. 

I know what happened. I’ve read the letter. – Olli added, quite serious now. 

Ivana let out a heavy sigh. – I could do nothing to stop him. I remember every horrendous thing he typed, he made sure to read it out to me. It was awful just listening to it, and imagining what you must be feeling like… pure horror. 

Are you going home? I’m here to walk you home, or anywhere else you’re headed. 

Home, yes. – They crossed the street and started walking. 

I was wondering, could you describe him? Have you seen him before, maybe? – Olli asked. 

The woman frowned. – Well, now that you mention it, I think I have seen him once or twice leaving Markus’s office as I was coming. He’s very striking; I could recognize him easily, but it’s hard to put in words what it is that is so striking about him. A shorter guy, blue eyes, maybe his hair is the only thing that can be described to some extent. – She grunted. 

What about his hair?

It’s all spiky and on top of his head. Dark, going grey. – She let out some air through her nose. – He even looks cool, smiles and everything, with that quirky hair. Pity he works for Markus. – Olli gave her a sarcastic look, which she understood. – Hm, yes. The same could be said about me, thank you very much. – They both grinned. 

Something about that description seemed familiar to Olli. – He smiles a lot? That’s strange. 

Yep, he’s like a smiling machine. Charming, goofy. You know, - she gave him a sideway look – I was under impression he knows you, personally. 

Why do you say that? – Olli was getting the vibe he should have guessed who it was by that moment, but Ivana’s presence took some of his focus off. He must try better. 

Can’t remember exactly, but I had that impression. 

Marko told him the previous day that they might have an insider, he remembered. Olli was not sure to believe it, but he couldn’t discard the idea altogether, either. Filtering their mutual close friends and acquaintances on characteristics Ivana has mentioned made him take a sharp inhale. Ivana noticed the blond man’s eyebrows shoot up. He knew who it was. 

Did he wear silver jewelry, like rings, chains, that sort of stuff? 

Yes, he did! I can’t believe I didn’t mention it earlier. Like he’s into rock music. 

Olli stopped walking to take his cellular and find a photo taken a couple of months earlier during one barbecue. Left to right, it showed Jani, him, Marko and Jari. Jaska was unseen, as he was the one taking the photo. He zoomed the faces in, not knowing what he had been hoping for, and turned the cellular to her. 

Is he on this photo? 

Ivana’s finger pointed to the first man and Olli swallowed a lump, looking at Jani as if he was looking at him for the first time in his life. 

Are you sure?

Oh, yes. That’s the guy, Olli. I told you he was quite recognizable. 

Ivana’s building came into sight not much later. Their steps outnumbered their words by far. The woman could see that the man’s face was half-frozen in a friendly grimace, but that his mind was elsewhere, processing the news on the mysterious man, and that he had enough on his plate at that moment. 

You know, you might as well tell me his name now that I’ve seen him. If I overhear anything, to know who it is about. – She winked. 

Hm, true. Jani Snellman. 

They hugged, Olli being all absent-minded. Ivana gave him a light peck on the cheek. – Go get ‘em, tiger!

Olli smiled uncomfortably, murmured some apology and strolled away without as much as kissing the woman back. Ivana shook her head as she entered the building. If she got everything right, Olli has just found out that one of his friends was working for the enemy. What would I do in his place, she wondered, as she was taking off her dress. But then, again, I don’t have any close friends, she admitted to herself. 

Her college friends got married, started families, moved. She moved, chasing a career. She couldn’t believe her good luck when she met Markus while she worked for her previous company, straight after the college. He opened some doors for her, asking only small things in return. Small things, like being charming to a random lawyer or accountant, get him to talk about his company, ask him a specific question, or two, and passing the answers to Markus. Small things that weren’t so small after all. A part of Ivana enjoyed these little mind games; another part of Ivana kept its eyes shut to what she was doing, knowing full well that doing small things like these would ultimately lead to paying a price. Standing almost naked in her living room, about to slip inside worn-out jeans and a hoodie, she wondered if the time has finally come to pay for her naiveté of youth with interest. Although, truth be told, she had a clear view of what she had been doing the whole time. 


End file.
